It may surprise you to learn that the document containing the authentication codes is neither tiny nor translucent. Yet another political memoir by military brass, this one by Bill Gulley, a former director of the White House Military Office under Johnson, Nixon, Ford, and Carter, claims that, in those presidents’ administrations, at least, the nuclear codes were printed on “a three-by-five inch card”—the exact dimensions of a common index card. According to SelfGrowth.com, the self-described “#1 self improvement site on the Internet,” losing objects—even those larger than an index card—happens to the best of us. “According to statistics,” writes Lea Schneider on the site, “the average person spends an hour a day looking for things.” Thankfully, also according to statistics, getting organized is easy! Lest President Obama wants to repeat the mistakes of his predecessors, he should keep several of the following foolproof self-improvement strategies in mind.

SelfGrowth.com recommends three simple tips: thinking in groups (that is, storing the nuclear codes next to similar objects—for instance, your copy of The Road or your The Sum of All Fears DVD), labeling (writing “Nuclear Codes” on the top of the document, maybe in Sharpie), and, finally, trying to understand why the item was lost in the first place. In this hypothetical example, perhaps it’s because you hate The Sum of All Fears and would never think to go near it on the shelf. Don’t forget to heed this advice, future presidents—your self-improvement (and America’s ability to nuke an enemy) depends on it!

Keywords:

Bill Clinton,

Jimmy Carter,

Nuclear Codes,

Nuclear War,

Politics,

Self Improvement,

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