"Half of the people in the world are below average."

 

 

"If you don't know where you are going, you will wind up somewhere else!"

 

 

"People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world,"

Short and funny quotes, Calvin.

 

 

"Isn't your pants' zipper supposed to be in the front?" Hobbes.

 

 

"I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

Short and funny quotes, Rodney Dangerfield

 

 

"Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invaribly they are both disappointed."

Short and funny quotes, Albert Einstein

 

 

"Marriage is like pi - natural, irrational, and very important."

Short and funny quotes, Lisa Hoffman.

 

 

"Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die."

Short and funny quotes, Anonymous.

 

 

"A rich man's joke is always funny."

Short and funny quotes, Proverb.

 

 

"I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals."