History of Hashing

(Yank Version)

I can no longer tolerate these heretics who insist the Brits (Island Monkeys) invented Hashing. (Check out the Cha Am Hash version of hash history and you will find that they credit Brit military. No other hash makes such a claim).

Hashing began in America shortly before the American Revolution, starting in our City of Brotherly Love, Philadelphia. Surprised? Well, here’s “the Rest of the Story”.

Benjamin “Lightning Rod” Frankin started the first Hash House Harriers club on the second of June, 1767. Challenging his friends to a paper chase, he took off through the streets and alleys of Philly, leaving a trail of pages from “Poor Richard’s Alamanac”. The pack had to read these to figure out the trail, and were more or less baffled by such curious notes as “A man and his whistle soon be parted,” “neither a hare nor a hound be”, “A beer saved is a beer earned” and “Fish and Hashers stink after four days”.

After a very long trail the pack found the beer near on the Boston waterfront where down-downs grew so spirited several bales of tea were dumped into the harbor before the police broke up the party. The pack On-On’d to the King’s Scrotum Public House, from which the name Hash House Harriers is derived, reportedly from that establishment’s infamous hash, in which a number of curly pubic hairs were always to be found..

Later that night, Thomas ‘Slave Owner’ Jefferson penned the immortal  ‘Rules of the Hash’.

“Ye shall have no rules”, “Neither shall ye suffer Poofters”. Betsy ‘Jumbo Juggs’ Ross was the only Harriette present for the first run. She later went on to found her own Hash House Harriers, “Daughters of the American Revolution.”  This group is still active today and is famous for its dedication to cross country running and the consumption of beer.

Paul “Silver Balls” Revere hared the first Full Moon Hash, and the famous Minute Men were actually a bunch of FRB’s from several of the New England Hash House Harriers clubs. It is a little known fact that the British Army’s first major defeat in the Revolutionary War occurred when a bunch of hares from George “Two Timer” Washington’s Continental  Hash House Harriers laid a long falsie up Concord Hill, then laid ambush for General Cornwallis’ Red Coats as they flailed about in the shaggy.

To make a long story short, British troops subsequently adopted the practice of Hashing, banned women, and forgot rule #2 “No Poofters.” The rest is history.

 

Plagerized from “Zippy” P2H4