Once upon a time there were two little pigs who decided to build a house. 

Surely you mean three little pigs?  No, this is an updated twenty-first century story!

 

The first little pig was perhaps too budget-conscious and built a straw house - great insulation, but no structural integrity.  The wolf came along and the pig ended up the way of all Danish bacon.

 

The wolf came to the second pig, his huff-and-puff speech at the ready. The second pig confidently opened up the conversation:

 

"This house", he said, "is a timber frame house!".  "Ha-ha", said the wolf, "Another bacon sandwich!"

"Excuse me", replied the pig, "I hadn't finished!  The timber frame of this house contains seasoned, dry graded wood, following the correct structural design and including a number of RSJ girders.  Then of course, we have our 150 mm insulation, top and sides, followed by outer brick and rendering, with of course, all the necessary ties and spacings etc.  All this, Mr Wolf, has met with all the EU regulations and fire precautions".

 

At this point, the wolf, with a glazed expression, turned and walked away to seek counselling and an updated opening speech.