"Allotted time" alludes to the "VanBlargan Time Dilation Principle," named after Reverend Ronald. This principle states that the length of a Service - as measured by the congregation - dilates in geometric proportion to the presence of extended musical passages and other unusual circumstances beyond a Pastor's control. To wit: Playing all twelve versus in Poco Adagio; Noisy microphones; Amplifier feedback; Dropped and clunked guitars; Humming, strumming and tapping during the sermon; Rifling through chord charts during the Lord's Prayer; Crawling under pews; Falling; Giggling; Laughing; Sleeping. All examples of distraction that must be kept to an absolute minimum, lest the congregation's time measurement stray from the accepted maximum of 60 minutes (relative to their clocks). The Principle further stipulates - as in the tradition of A. Einstein - that the length of a service is measured differently by singers and players. Singers and players want to sing and play. So for them, time flies (relative to their clocks) while they're singing and playing in the name of the Lord. A constant challenge is to respect the Principle while recognizing and even emphasizing the Ensemble's variety of skill, experience and discipline. The cool part: God and our Congregation forgives us our distractions, and rejoices in our commitment to make a joyful sound! |
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