digging for the truth...
- You must be the change you want to see in the world.
- Mahatma Gandhi
Indian political and spiritual leader (1869 - 1948)
Welcome. My name is Michelle. Like many of you, I am looking around at the world and wondering exactly what's wrong, and what it is I can do about it. 12 years ago, I moved out on my own, away from my family, and for the first time, I didn't have television to watch every day. After 6 months, I realized I didn't miss it. For many years, I just never bothered hooking up cable tv in any of the places I lived. About 6 years ago, I hit a rough spot and was living in a hotel for about a year. Cable tv included. However, it was even more of a joke than I had remembered. "Reality" TV shows made me angry - I knew that it wasn't real at all. Sitcoms bored me. The news - oh, don't get me started on the news channels. But the worst was the commercials. Everything I saw on television, no matter what it was, was a painful reminder that lots of other people in the world lived in luxury while I sat in my tiny hotel room, with crack addicts for neighbors, struggling to pay the weekly rent and eat with my minimum wage job. At that time, I was mostly concerned with getting out of my little hell. I knew that something about 9/11 wasn't right, but didn't quite know what, yet. I knew that something was wrong about the war on drugs. I knew that there was something wrong with the police. I knew that, for all intensive purposes, I was ALONE in this great big world, that no matter how hard I worked, and how kind I was to others, I would always, inevitably, end up letting the most manipulative and backstabbing people into my life - over and over again. So I knew something was wrong with society too, because I couldn't seem to find anyone like me, people who held loyalty and friendship in high regard... People who would give you the shirt off their backs... I had always heard these folks existed, but for too many years, I was the only one I knew, and I got walked on repeatedly. It's sad, but I didn't give up. I moved to a big city, and my ideals were becoming more realistic. I was meeting people who went to protests, co-ops, anarchist demonstrations, critical mass bike rides... I was in my element. I could walk or ride my bike anywhere and everywhere, eat organic food, talk to like minded individuals... But after a while, I thought that living out in the woods would be better for me. Too many people in that big city. Too noisy, too hectic, sometimes too scary. I wanted to grow a garden and live off the land. I wanted to have solar panels, and have my whole life set up for self sufficiency - because if there's one thing I have learned in my life's travels - it's that I am the only person I can truly rely on in the long run. The system didn't help me when I needed a place to live, or food to eat, so there was no way I would ever get to a point in my life again where I had nothing. When I moved into this little place in the woods that my boyfriend kind of inherited, I was determined to set about getting a garden ready, and making the place self sufficient. We are still making the transition, and it's possible that we may buy land and have to start over somewhere else, but that's fine. We have the knowledge we need and the courage and work ethic to make it happen.
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