you took me to the ocean, it was only the second time i'd seen it except it wasn't what i expected, it was crowded with white people you said, looking out across the sand, "all of this salt, where is the pepper?" and i laughed, a little, at your accent and a little at your comment on the white sand and the salty sea water this is clearly not lake erie and i sort of wished it was, which i doubt anyone would believe i fit in more at home than i had ever realized because this is an all new sort of not fitting in sitting next to you on that rock, the ocean water on your back dried into a salt stain you said, you have salt in your hair maureen and i brushed the sand off my face umbrellas and people drinking black label beer out of coolers it was almost hot that day, and it's only ending winter here by december my skin will look like i went through two consecutive summers because i will have you called my freckles "spot-spots" when i got sunburned looking out at the ocean i thought, across this ocean is south america inside of this ocean are decaying dead animals and oil tanks and sunken ships coral and squid, sea kelp and buried bones, a million tons of sand and shells boats and people, whales and jellyfish, seaweed and chemicals i thought about how the ocean was bigger than the continent i was on and i felt so stupid, that when i walked three feet into the water, it was already up to my waist how can i ever be truly convinced that i am important when three feet into the endless ocean i am half gone i wanted to tell you that i felt homesick but i also wanted you to know that i was happy to know you and that i was grateful for you and your earnest nature so i just said, thanks for bringing me here and bought you a cold mango juice box you said, yeah, and then you said, i like being your friend, you are a sweet heart and very funny except you said sweetheart like two words and not one, like my grandpa says it i wonder why you adopted a white girl to take to the beach i wonder why you adopted an american to walk to the bus station i heard what that man at the station called you because you were walking with me i heard what he called me, too it was in xhosa so you didn't know i knew, so you didn't say anything you just looked around uncomfortably i wonder why you adopted me, to keep an eye on at the bar i heard when he said, amakwerekwere, i know what that means and i also saw the look on your face when you heard it what do you want to do with your life, i asked you you said more than anything i want to build things and sell them at a shop that sells tables and beds and cabinets that sells furniture i have made it doesn't even have to be my shop, you said, i just want somewhere to sell my tables and chairs you want only ordinary things, but because you are poor you think they are out of reach you are nicer than almost anyone, and you definitely do not have to be, especially to me one foot in the atlantic ocean next weekend i will be in the indian ocean for the first time three feet in, half gone are you somewhere else, maureen? sort of, sort of

People were refusing to go out for New Year's Eve this year - or at least some people were. Parties were being kept to small groups of friends, safe indoors, with candles and bottled water, canned goods and books to read. Maybe it was a bit silly, but I took note. I knew where our flashlights were, and yes, we had plenty of batteries. Some of those fat Ds our flashlights needed, and piles of the AAs that ran everything else. I even changed that stupid little 9-volt in the smoke alarm (with all those lit candles, who knows what might happen). And since it couldn't have been any more than twelve degrees outside, I went shopping for extra blankets, in case we lost heat. And while I was at Target, I saw some Duracells on sale. And I had a coupon too - buy one get one free - so I bought four packs and got four free. Four free packs of batteries! "Maybe we should stock up on ice and coolers," Danny said. "So we can keep our beer cold when the power goes out." His smart-ass grin spread cheek to cheek. Really. No one was ever hurt by being adequately prepared for something. I don't think anyone ever had serious regrets about knowing where their batteries were when the power didn't go out. - Lexi, chapter 4.5, Paper Birds *** week 3: this is not an advertisement for Duracell or anything, lol! I almost went with the slanted picture below for the "official" week 3 shot, but in the end, I just didn't. It was - I don't know - a little too off-putting? Lexi is too much of a control freak for such a skewed photo, lol! Maybe that's it.