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Jokes:

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost.

She reduced altitude and spotted a man below. She descended a bit more and
shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him
an hour ago but I don't know where I am."

The man below replied, "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately
30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude
and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."

"You must be an engineer," said the balloonist.

"I am", replied the man. "How did you know?"

"Well, answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically
correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is
I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything
you've delayed my trip even more."

The man below responded, "You must be in management."

"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "You don't know where you are or where you're going.
You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made
a promise which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath
you to solve your problems."

Water vs. Alcohol

It has been scientifically proven that if we drink one
litre of water each day, at the end of the year we
would have absorbed more than one kilo of Escherichia
Coli Bacteria found in water that contains faeces.

In other words, we are consuming one kilo of shit.
However, we do not run that risk when drinking rum,
gin, whiskey, beer, wine or other liquors because
alcohol has to go through a distillation process
of boiling, filtering and fermentation.

It is my duty to communicate to all of you people who
are drinking water, to stop doing so. It has been
scientifically proven that it is unhealthy and bad for
you.

THEREFORE - It is better to drink alcohol and talk
shit than to drink water and be full of it.

Interviewer said "I shall either ask you ten easy questions or one
really
difficult question.
Think well before you make up your mind!" The boy thought for a while
and
said, "my choice is one really difficult question."
"Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice! Now tell me
this.
"What comes first, Day or Night?"

The boy was jolted in! to reality as his admission depends on the
correctness of his answer, but he thought for a while and said, "It's
the
DAY sir!"
"How" the interviewer asked,
"Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND difficult
question!"
He was selected !

"Technical Skill is the mastery of complexity, while Creativity is the
master of presence of mind"

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