INTRODUCTION

Chapter Eight Revealing Your Real Self

Now that we understand the nature of femininity let us see what can he done toward putting this quality into you. As explained before, it is not a quality foreign to your personality; if it seems so, its seeming unnaturalness is due merely to the persistence with which it has been suppressed. If some big, masterful and overpowering man should come along and make you realize in spite of yourself what a tender creature a woman is compared with such a man, you could, and you would, betray just as much femininity as any other woman. The difficulty with you has been that you have never met a man who makes you realize your frail femininity in this way; you are perhaps the type of woman who requires an exceptionally forceful man to arouse her latent tenderness. The kind of women who are most universally attractive, on the contrary, are the kind who look upon any and all men as big, strong, and masterful, who realize their frail femininity in the presence of every man, whether he is exceptionally virulent or not, and whose actions constantly show their consciousness of the contrast between their own tenderness and the man's strength. Your task, therefore, if you would be universally attractive, is to learn to do as she does--betray your femininity, not only in the presence of an exceptionally admirable man whom you may never meet, but in the presence of any and all men.

Where to Learn the Art of Winsome Women.

In this personal observation of yours, record your findings in a notebook. If you go to a photoplay, get out this notebook after the show and write a brief description of the various arts of manner, dress, and action, by which the heroine emphasized her femininity, by which she made the man feel big and strong. If you can't remember the various devices by which she accomplished this, sit through the show a second or third time, until you have made yourself master of her arsenal of allurements.

BODY

We will now undertake to give you, in the shape of exercises, a few of the artifices by which femininity is 

emphasized.

14 Devices of Fascinating Womanhood.

No. 1. Read Sir Roger's description of the widow in the last chapter. Stand before a mirror, in the privacy of your room, say to yourself, "I am just a helpless woman at the mercy of you big strong men," and in this mental attitude endeavor to imitate the "resignation of countenance" and the "pretty uneasiness" of the widow. The charm of her manner was due to the appealing delicate femininity of her mental attitude. Now endeavor to do as the widow did, recover yourself from one eye to another, and show your confusion at being stared at. Convey in your eye and manner the following meaning: "Can't you see I am just a tender woman, and that my delicate sensibilities are shocked by your rude staring?" In the widow's case, these wiles and stratagems won a whole courtroom full of men. See what success you can have with the same artifices. After perfecting yourself before your mirror, practice them on the family, on the men you know, and upon every man you meet from now on. Continue this exercise until the manner described becomes second nature to you.

No. 2. We learned in the last chapter that the air of expecting to be petted and humored is one of the most appealing feminine tricks of all. Stand before the mirror and say to yourself, "I expect you to pet and humor me; you owe it to me." With this thought in mind, try a pretty pout, as much as to say: "I thought you liked me," or stamp your foot and shake your curls, as much as to say "I am furious, but what can a little girl like me do with a big strong man like you." After perfecting yourself before the mirror, practice this exercise upon every man you meet, ask him to comply with your whims and notions, all with an air of expecting to be indulged and humored.

No. 3. Turn back to the last chapter, and study the paragraph where the pet of the family snatches the paper out of her father's hands, and then stands looking at him with pouting lips and rebukeful eyes, as much as to say "Is this the way you welcome your poor little girl?" This is a stratagem well worth studying and imitating. Practice it until you can do it naturally, at first before your mirror, and then, when you are sure of your ability to carry it off with the proper air, upon some member of your family. The general idea of this exercise can be adapted to many other circumstances. Use every opportunity to do so.

No. 4. Study the part where the family pet assumes a deeply injured air, as much as to say "You don't appreciate my kindness to you." Practice this air until you can put it on whenever you are being teased or cajoled.

No. 5. Study the part where the timorous thing pauses tremblingly at the curb, afraid to trust herself among the heavy traffic. Wherever you have an opportunity, when men are around, display a similar dainty timidity, a similar dependence upon them for guidance, a similar helplessness. The appearance of a mouse, a stray dog, a bug or spider of some kind, or the silence of a dark night, or the crash of thunder, or the presence of suspicious looking men, or any other occasion for the display of timorousness, is a real opportunity and should never be neglected.

No. 6. Teasing playfulness is often a good way to bring out femininity. Sometime ago, in a photoplay entitled "The Little Minister" Miss Betty Compson gave a wonderful example of this subterfuge. The dignified little minister looked with unadulterated horror upon her wild gypsy ways; but when he protested with her about her apparent irresponsibility she interrupted the serious lecture by teasingly wanting to know which was the taller, making him stand with her back to back to measure their respective heights, and then, when he was ready to burst with indignation at her lack of seriousness, pouted adorably as if to say, "You're not really going to be angry with poor little me," and flashed at him such a confiding, trustful, I-am-certain-you-like-me-too-well-to-hurt-me glance and smile that the poor man forgot his indignation completely in a struggle with himself to keep from gathering the adorable creature in his arms and telling her, "No, I wouldn't hurt you for all the world."

No. 7. Impulsively showing trust and faith in a man, and then realizing in confusion and embarrassment that your trust has been a little too obvious, is another favorite device. The following brief extract from "Vanity Fair" is an example of this. Rebecca Sharp is rebuking Joseph Sedley for tricking her into eating hot peppers. "I shall take good care how I let you choose for me another time," said Rebecca, as they went down to dinner. "I didn't think men were fond of putting poor harmless girls to pain." "By Gad, Miss Rebecca, I wouldn't hurt you for the world." "No," said she, "I know you wouldn't," and then she gave him ever so gentle a pressure with her little hand, and drew it back quite frightened, and looked first for one instant in his face, and then down at the carpet rods, and I am not prepared to say that Joe's heart did not thump at this involuntary, timid, gentle motion of regard on the part of the simple girl. Notice her mental attitude. Does she not betray it when she calls herself a "poor harmless girl ?" Notice, too, the involuntary and impulsive appearance she gives to her pressure on his arm, and then her instant and obvious timorousness and confusion. Can anything be better calculated to bring out the contrast between her tender, trusting femininity and his firm and confidence-inspiring manhood? This is an exercise requiring intelligent and cautious application to differing circumstances, but it is highly effective. "And Oh," exclaims Thackeray, "what a mercy it is that women do not exercise their powers oftener! We can't resist them if they do."

No. 8. There is another word that is always upon men's lips when speaking of attractive womanhood--the word " demure," which usually has the meaning of "affectedly modest, decorous, or serious; making a show of gravity," but this demureness is supposed to cover mischievousness, playfulness, and smothered gaiety. Stand before the mirror and put on such a demure air, with the corners of your lips struggling to suppress a smile of mischief, and your eyes dancing in an otherwise grave face. This is a contrivance well worth practicing and mastering; it has great attraction for men,

No. 9. An exceedingly feminine woman, when meeting a man, will often begin to speak with great eagerness and unconsciousness, and then, when the man's response becomes just as eager, or when his eyes have looked into hers, will stop short in her flow of speech, drop her eyes in confusion, and suddenly become self-conscious. Sometimes she even succeeds in blushing. Her attitude seems to say, "I had forgotten that you were a man; you oughtn't take advantage of my innocent girlishness in this way." Practice this little act before your mirror and then try it out on the men until you have become an adept at it.

No. 10. Shaking hands is an art with a feminine woman. She will begin eagerly and confidingly, then suddenly seem to realize it is a man's hand she is holding, and begin shyly drawing her own hand away. Nothing can be better designed to remind the man immediately of the contrast between her feminine shyness and modesty with his manly thoughtlessness and indifference. It cries out loudly to him, "Watch your step; here is a dainty and tender woman." Learn to do this with naturalness, and practice it everywhere.

No. 11. Another device is to become so interested in what you are saying, or in what is happening, that you put your arm, though ever so lightly, upon the man's coat sleeve; then, when you see that he has noticed it, to draw your hand away with an air of confusion and self-conscious modesty. This serves to bring out the confiding trustfulness of your nature, and then to emphasize your maidenly timorousness.

No. 12. Arch slyness or roguishness is also attractive in showing the mischievously human side of your nature. When you suspect a man of having some mischief up his sleeve, or of having played some prank which he is keeping secret, to shake a finger archly at him, as if to say, "You wicked man," is a good contrivance for bringing out this aspect of your femininity.

 No. 13. Another little stratagem is exaggerated sensitiveness, especially in being easily excited to pity and sympathy. If the man is telling a story, or describing his experiences, the absorbedly interested girl gets into quite a  state of excitement over what happens, sympathizes heartily with the characters involved, is horrified and delighted by turns, and can hardly wait for the end to find out if everyone escaped unhurt. This dainty betrayal of girlish tenderness of heart is highly entertaining and fascinating to men. They will sometimes concoct the wildest and most heart-rending tales just for the sake of stirring up her tender little heart. Not only is her eager sympathy attractive; but when she learns it is all a figment of his imagination, her petulant discomfiture, her air of saying, "How could a big man like you deceive a credulous little girl like me," her helpless fury at him for teasing her, is a hundred times more engaging. Practice this bewitching artifice, too, at every opportunity. 

No. 14. The following passage from "The Cloister and the hearth" by Charles Reade illustrates one of the most telling stratagems of femininity:

 "Then came a little difficulty; Gerard the adroit could not tie his ribbon again as Catherine (his mother) had tied it. Margaret, after slyly eyeing his efforts for some time, offered to help him; for at her age girls love to be coy and tender, saucy and gentle, by turns, and she saw she had put him out of countenance but now. Then a fair head, with its stately crown of auburn hair, glossy and glowing through silver, bowed sweetly towards him; and, while it ravished his eye, two white supple hands played delicately upon the stubborn ribbon, and moulded it with soft and airy touches. Then a heavenly thrill ran through the innocent young man, and vague glimpses of a new world of feeling and sentiment opened on him. And these new and exquisite sensations Margaret unwittingly prolonged; it is not natural to her sex to hurry aught that pertains to the sacred toilet. Nay, when the tapered fingers had at last subjugated the ends of the knot, her mind was not quite easy, till, by a maneuver peculiar to the female hand, she had made her palm convex, and so applied it with a gentle pressure to the center of the knot-a sweet little coaxing hand-kiss, as much as to say, `Now be a good knot, and stay so.' The palm-kiss was bestowed on the ribbon, but the wearer's heart leaped to meet it.

"`There, that is how it was,' said Margaret, and drew back to take one last keen survey of her work; then, looking up for simple approval of her skill, received full in her eyes a longing gaze of such ardent adoration as made her lower them quickly and color all over. An indescribable tremor seized her, and she retreated with downcast lashes and tell-tale cheeks, and took her father's arm on the opposite side. Gerard, blushing at having scared her away with his eyes, took the other arm, and so the two young things went downcast and conscious, and propped the eagle along in silence."

Notice the trustfulness with which Margaret undertakes the intimate task of tying the strange young man's tie, the confiding, innocent unconsciousness while the task is being completed, then the sudden self-consciousness and appearance of timidity, modesty, and maidenly confusion.

 CONCLUSION

How to Get Out of the Rut. 

Don't hesitate to undertake this acting because it seems insincere. It may seem that way at first, because you have so long suppressed the femininity inherent in your nature that a womanly manner seems absurd and awkward. But if you will only persist in your acting, you will find that it is quite as natural to you as it is to others, that it was your former unfeminine or in animate manner which was the real misrepresentation of your dainty and exquisite self. Practice makes perfect, in this as in other matters; and before long you will be astonished at the improvement in your ability to interest men. Meantime simply make a hobby of acting the part of Angela Human, your model of
femininity, and act the part all the time, on the street, at parties, at meals, at work or in play, and in the privacy of your home.

After a few weeks of such acting, you will find your self growing out of the cut-and-dried wooden-like ways by which the real you has been caricatured; you will discover every movement, every expression every thought and word, to be freer, more impulsive, more natural, more womanly, and more interesting.

At first, when the new manner seems awkward to you, confine your acting to the privacy of your own home. In this privacy, don't hesitate to act sometimes as you would never think of acting before others -- exaggerate if necessary until you have mastered the various tricks of manner. Then tone yourself down and begin to act before others. You will become bolder and bolder as you become surer of your mastery.

                                                            HW ASSIGNMENT

                                        Chapter Eight Revealing Your Real Self.

             Please email me your answers to 1Femmy@gmail.com with your "name" and                                         assignment number.  Thank you. Due midnight, Wednesday, August 26, 2009. 

1.       The kind of woman who is most universally attractive is the kind who…?

2.       Next time you watch a movie, what should you do?

3.       List all 14 devices of feminine womanhood in your own words.  [You will have to memorize at least 1/2 (that resonate to you) for the test.]

4.       When someone tells you that it is all a game and that she doesn’t believe in playing games, what is one answer you can give her (from the pamphlets).