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Lesson 3 The Kind of Woman a Man Wants

posted Jul 16, 2009 1:18 PM by SJF TL   [ updated Jul 16, 2009 5:03 PM ]

INTRODUCTION

Part 2 Chapter Three WHAT KIND OF WOMAN A MAN WANTS

THE THINGS THAT A WOMAN ADMIRES ANOTHER WOMAN FOR ARE RARELY
ATTRACTIVE TO MEN. THE CHARACTERISTICS WHICH THE AVERAGE WOMAN IGNORES OR
CONDEMNS IN ANOTHER WOMAN ARE SOMETIMES JUST THE CHARACTERISTICS THAT MAKE HER FASCINATING TO MEN.

In Vanity Fair, Thackeray comments:

“I see all the men in a cluster round Mrs. White's chair; all the young fellows battling to dance with Miss Brown; and so I am tempted to think that to be despised by her sex is a very great
compliment to a woman.”

As women are more or less blind to their own allurements, the first thing you must do, if you would get the man’s viewpoint, is to banish all preconceived notions you have about what makes a woman attractive to men. Those notions, in all likelihood, are wrong. Women, for example, commonly suppose that one of the main allurements is beauty; but they haven't the slightest conception of what a man considers beautiful.

BODY

Victor Hugo comments:

“THERE IS, IN THIS WORLD, NO FUNCTION MORE IMPORTANT THAN THAT OF BEING CHARMING… TO SHED JOY AROUND, TO RADIATE HAPPINESS, TO CAST LIGHT UPON DARK DAYS, TO BE THE GOLDEN THREAD OF OUR DESTINY, AND THE VERY SPIRIT OF GRACE AND HARMONY, IS NOT THIS TO RENDER A SERVICE? Her presence lights up the home; her approach is like a cheerful warmth; she passes by, and we are content; she stays awhile, and we are happy… Is it not a thing divine to have a smile which, none know how, has the power to lighten the weight of that enormous chain which all the living, in common, drag behind them?”

Two Ideals of Femininity.

Let us now compare Thackeray's ideal of femininity with Victor Hugo's.


Both seem to consider the smile an outstanding mark of loveliness.

Both Thackeray and Hugo compare their ideals with a little bird.

To both authors good health appears to be a main essential; not so much for the health itself as for the
"fresh" and "joyous" spirit health sustains in the girl's appearance, her actions, and her attitude of mind.

In spite of their perfect healthiness, however, both heroines succeed in creating an impression of tenderness and of frailty.

Finally, both authors insist upon irreproachable purity and sweetness of character.

Beauty Is Not Necessary

Outward beauty seems to be valued chiefly as a sign of glorious health; so long as the eye, the complexion, the bearing, and the manner give an impression of fresh and joyous healthiness, perfection of feature and form is comparatively unimportant. Any girl, therefore, even when she can make no pretension to beauty, can make herself fascinating to men if she is blessed or will acquire an appearance and manner that bespeaks genuine health. As you will learn in a later chapter, such an acquisition is within the reach of nearly every woman.

Sickly or unhealthy women are very seldom beautiful. Even if they are, they seldom attract men, because it is not the beauty that fascinates so much as the good health which underlies it. Women all over the world have confused the two; instead of devoting their main efforts toward acquiring beauty, they should be devoting them toward acquiring a fresh, sparkling, joyous health.

Another outstanding characteristic of a fascinating woman, as we have seen, is an air of tenderness,
frailty, childlikeness, and "littleness." …Most women consider it an insult to their good sense to expect them to act the part of the fluttering and chirping little bird which our authors so much admire. They insist upon believing that really sensible men, the kind of man they want, would be repulsed instead of attracted by such a childish creature. Even when these women agree that such a woman is the most attractive, they mistakenly assume that for themselves the acting of such a part is impossible.

 CONCLUSION

Why the Famous Actress Excels.

If you will study carefully the women upon whom men heap their attentions, and if you will carefully
observe such moving picture and legitimate actresses as have made themselves the darlings of the public (such actresses as Mary Pickford, Marguerite Clark, Betty Compson, Billie Burke) you will quickly perceive that they seem to answer to the requirements of attractive femininity as outlined in this chapter. They appear to be two exactly opposite qualities wrapped up in one girlish parcel. First, they appear to be angelic beings whom a man can adore from afar as infinitely better than himself; Second, they are helplessly human little creatures, full of pretty faults and preposterous fears, whom a man aches to gather up in his protecting arms to shelter and to cuddle forever. Such women, on the one hand, seem to be the acme of innocence and purity with a sympathy, a pity, and a charity that are all-embracing; and, on the other, seem to be the acme of girlishness, mischievousness, impulsiveness, and woeful dependence upon man's superior strength.

How to Find the Models for Study.

Try to find such a creature in real life, and observe her carefully, for we shall often he obliged to use her as an example in our forth-coming studies. If you cannot find such a girl among your acquaintances, find one among the motion picture actresses and take every opportunity to see her productions. It may prove advisable to sit through the same picture three or four times in order that you may learn the tricks of manner by which she succeeds in creating her impression of angelic womanliness, or of mischievous childlikeness. Remember, however, that there are many motion picture stars who do not well fulfill a man's conception of femininity, and that it is just such stars that may seem the most attractive to you-because your viewpoint is different from a man's. Be sure, therefore, before you take any of them as a model of femininity, that she is such a model from man's point of view. Find out, before going ahead, if the men of your acquaintance consider her exceptionally attractive. If they do, then you have found in this model matter for study that is better than a hundred text-books.

We shall now assume that you have found such a winsome woman, a combination of Amelia and
Deruchette, a living expression of the qualities we have emphasized in this chapter. As we do not know her name, but as we shall wish to refer to her often in our studies, we shall from now on call this creature Angela Human.

The first name, Angela, is to remind you of the spiritual side of her which wins a man's
adoration; the last name, Human, is to remind you of the helplessly frail and tender side of her which appeals to what he considers his superior strength. Angela he worships, Human he wants to cuddle and protect forever; and Angela Human, combined, he simply loves to distraction.

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HW ASSIGNMENT

Part 2 Chapter Three THE KIND OF WOMAN A MAN WANTS

Due by midnight, Wednesday, July 22, 2009.  Please email me your answers with your board/site name to 1Femmy@gmail.com.  Thank you.

 

1.       Explain why we need to study The Kind of Woman a Man Wants?

2.       What are the 5 characteristics of ideal feminine beauty that Hugo and Thackeray consider the most important.  Memorize.

3.       Is outward beauty necessary? Explain.

4.       What are the qualities of Angela? Human?

5.       Complete the assignment given by the authors in Conclusion.  Use the 5 characteristics of ideal feminine beauty as your guide as well as the Angela/Human qualities.  Let us know whom you chose and why.

   

Comments (11)

SJF TL - Jul 19, 2009 12:05 AM

HW 3 completed by...

* S moselle

SJF TL - Jul 21, 2009 11:00 AM

* Jamaica

SJF TL - Jul 22, 2009 1:30 PM

* Forever

SJF TL - Jul 22, 2009 1:57 PM

* Veronica Lake

SJF TL - Jul 22, 2009 6:25 PM

* Sally Jane

SJF TL - Jul 22, 2009 6:27 PM

* Holly

SJF TL - Jul 22, 2009 6:53 PM

* Smart Blonde

SJF TL - Jul 22, 2009 8:12 PM

* Menina

SJF TL - Jul 23, 2009 3:31 PM

* Venus

SJF TL - Jul 26, 2009 3:32 PM

* Comment from Smart Blonde-->

I will choose Marilyn Monroe because she was definitely someone adored by many men as well as the type of woman many women despise.

She was radiant, feminine and childlike... she did not have purity of character but because she played the other roles so well, men were inclined to think the best of her. They say her as a "little girl lost" who just needed his strong guidance to be a better man. Thus they saw this as her frailty/pretty fault that made them feel they could protect her and be a hero with his superior strength.

She wasn't known to be a domestic goddess as in housewife-material, but men wanted to marry her anyway. Her dress, manner and appearance were so well done that you had to assume everything about her surroundings were just as perfectly in place.



_ _ _ _ _



Also, since I can't comment, I will add a comment here... just last night a guy friend was speaking very highly of a friend of mine - incidently the one I have described on the boards as looking similar to Marilyn Monroe..

He was saying that she should be a model - that she belonged on the catwalk. But he added that she doesn't look like a typical model but rather carries herself in such a way that she attracts attention.

He also mentioned how classy she is and talked about her good character... knowing her, I know this is not always the case. However, she keeps quiet about the things in her life that are less than ideal so men assign better character and behavior to her than are actually true. All based on her appearance of having the qualities men want.

So a woman definitely doesn't have to have all of them for men to adore and cherish her.

SJF TL - Aug 25, 2009 8:51 AM

* Donna Reid