JUDGES’ REPORT- SUPER SHORT STORY COMPETITION 2011
Fellowship of Australian Writers, North Shore
This year there were 123 entries in
Category A – Short Story, and 128 entries in Category B – Memoir.
The judges for Category A were asked to
focus on the telling of the story. They were told to expect the title to be
intriguing and the opening paragraph attention grabbing. The story was then to proceed
logically with believable characters that speak and act convincingly. Readers
should be involved, wondering what is next and finally having their
expectations satisfied by a change involving the protagonist. The ending should
be an “Ah” moment. The judges were then asked to reflect on what they had read.
Did the title make sense and did the story stay on theme? Were there any
negatives in the presentation – spelling, punctuation, syntax, tedious
sections, jarring moments, loose ends or just plain waffle? Would they remember
the story tomorrow?
The judges were asked to do the same for
Category B, but in addition the memoir was expected to have an authentic feel
to it. It needed to be written in the first person and to recall an event or a
series of related events in the writer’s life, which had a point to it.
CATEGORY A –: SHORT STORY
1st Prize: "A Man. His
Girl. That Tent." by David Blissett.
This story is marked by excellent characterisation. A deeply penetrating third
person limited point of view allows the reader to experience the protagonist’s
every thought and emotion as he contemplates the joy of his rekindled love. We
share his journey to happiness in his new awareness.
2nd Prize: "Home Fires" by Susan
McCreery. Here excellent characterisation in a well
structured storyline allows the reader to discover how a neglected daughter
copes within her dysfunctional family. Through the detail of the girl’s daily
life we come to understand both her love for her mother and the hopelessness of
her situation. We reach our “Ah” moment in the story’s clever conclusion.
Highly Commended: "Return
to Sender" by Jan Foster. This is a well structured story, starting in a moment of
action when a drunken ex-husband is delivered by taxi, and concluding when the ‘unwanted
baggage’ is delivered to the police station.
Highly Commended: "The
Littlest Things" by Carly Ogborne. A
young man has mixed feelings about his girlfriend. He contemplates the annoying
things about her, but in the end realises he loves her.
Highly Commended: "The Stars of Home" by
Bernard Russell Smith.
A farmer reflects on his life on the farm. He thinks about his place in the
universe and his position in the world.
Commended: "A Special Wedding” by
Elaine Staples. An
older couple decide to marry and a clever sitcom is constructed. A bridesmaid
with a Zimmer frame under a garden archway from Bunnings is one of the memorable
scenes.
Commended: " Saturday" by Janette
Pieloor. A lonely woman on holiday
fantasises about a fellow tourist. The story uses first person point of view
and present tense, and this gives an intimate realism to the woman’s contemplations.
Commended: "The Bed” by Peter W.
Bishop. An intense young woman gets her man.
Through clever dialogue (both internal and external) we see a dyslexic young
man change his position from coolness to acceptance of the relationship.
CATEGORY B -: MEMOIR
1st Prize: " Climbing Mount Clarence" by Eve Green A lovely story about innocent first love. The author used an
interesting style, alternating between exposition and a self interviewing technique
to expound her memoir. The voice was fresh and reflected the innocence of the
occasion. This memoir presented an episode from life that we can all relate to.
2nd Prize: "Laureate Poet" by
Emilio Yanez This was a memory from childhood,
where the author experienced concern about performing on stage, but was rewarded
by a feeling of self worth after the deed was done. The memoir used the voice
of a child and was thoughtfully constructed with simple words that were
cleverly positioned. The reader felt the child’s consternation and rejoiced in
his success.
Highly Commended: "A
New Dawn" by Michelle Worthington. This memoir canvassed the myriad emotions relating to
divorce. The author used a calm and controlled voice, yet was able to reveal
the tension of deciding what to do.
Highly Commended: "As the Bugler Played" by
Lynette Zander A mourner at a war hero’s
funeral is moved by the variety of thoughts which go through her head. The
enormity of the occasion is contrasted with a bee taking pollen from the
poppies.
Highly Commended: "The Umbrella
Tree" by Ross Kinnish The umbrella tree was the author’s haven in the playground
– him and his mates. Fate has dispelled the group but the tree is still there,
offering haven for the children who follow.
Commended: "Changing My Name" by
Jennifer Stapledon The author achieves a sense
of freedom by changing her name after divorce. The voice is an “easy-to-read”
conversational style, and readers feel included in her most private thoughts.
Commended: "Escape" by David O'Loughlin This memoir tells of the
author as a boy escaping from his country boarding school and cycling for home.
He is “re-captured” and hailed as a hero back at school.
Commended: "Farewell to Old England"
by Anne Dwyer - A nostalgic consideration of the act of
emigrating to Australia.
The widening gap between ship and shore symbolises the separation of family
members.
Commended: "The Gift" by Lesley
Adams - It is a planter fashioned out of half a
coconut. Nobody wants the gift but it becomes a family tradition to give it to
someone each year.
Commended: "The Necklace" Kate
Gilbert - The necklace is only made of
glass yet it symbolises grandfather’s promise to take his wife back home to
visit England.
He never does.
