The Pillow Fight
Eli Albert

    The ground was wet. The night was just starting. Evan was walking from his apartment to campus on 57t street. He held a pillow in his hand. His own pillow, minus the cover. He walked softly, but with a spring. He felt springy. Light. Agile. His pace was quick and steady. The lights were all green. He arrived at campus alone and entered the main quads. He was aware of the weight of the pillow in his hands. The grass was deep and lush. The lamps were all on. The gothic buildings loomed above on all sides. Dark trees cast shadows against the ground and walls. He sensed movement as he approached the center of the quads. He spun. Nothing. A few more steps... he was alone in the grass. Then a movement - before he could react - "Charge!"
    Nerds jumped out from behind trees and came running from the nearby buildings, swinging pillows. It was a trap! Theo reared up out of the blue and whacked Evan in the head. Blows rained down from behind. Soon he got his composure back, grateful he'd left his glasses at home, and started to return fire. The roughly ten students were laughing and shouting, and the attack quickly fell apart and turned into a free-for-all. Evan cornered a girl he didn't recognize against a tree and closed in with his pillow, when suddenly two vicious cushions smacked him from both sides. It was a grand time.
    More people showed up, until the impromptu pillow fight - that Theo had planned that afternoon and advertised via text message - had lost some of its steam. Theo, taking control and cutting a sharp figure in tight red pants, threadbare yellow tee and silly davy crocket hat, called a general truce.
    "It's time," he said, "to unite under a common cause. Let's roam the quads and sneak up on unsuspecting victims!"
    A cheer went up and they put the plan into action. About 20 students strolled across campus in a mob, pillows held unthreateningly at bay, following in the tracks of a couple holding hands, deep in conversation. They got closer. At the same time the couple noticed the group, a cry went up from multiple voices - "Charge!" They pummeled the hapless couple a few times before the two students, laughing, took flight. The uncoordinated group was now a gang, and they felt like it. Theo told them all to walk like ninjas and speak only when necessary, and then led off the main quads and towards the grass outside the all-night study library. The attacks continued.
    A half-hour later the group was assembled across the street from one of the University's multipurpose buildings, in the shadows of a huge tree. There were a group of students outside the building talking and drinking. There must have been 50 of them, but to Theo and Evan they looked like gazelles.
    "Ok everybody," said Theo. "Are we going for it?"
    "I'm in," said Evan. Agreement was heard all around. Hearts were pounding. It was one thing to attack with numerical advantage, but quite another against an enemy of this size. Evan wasn't quite sure that it was such a good idea, but he was feeling weird enough, bold enough, that he couldn't quite bring himself to care.
    "On the count of three," someone said. The group chanted together. "One, two - three!" And they charged across the street.
    Right away they could tell something was wrong. The mass of students, on closer inspection, did not look like University of Chicago students. They were dressed really nicely, and the girls were really blond. And they all seemed so... big. Still, it didn't phase Theo. He went in swinging, maybe a bit too excited, but Evan couldn't hold it against him. This was his moment. The rest of the group followed, only to be quickly swallowed up by the much larger group of visitors from another school.
    Nobody was laughing. A few shouts and insults were heard as conversations died down. One girl complained that she'd spilt her drink. The sentiment was, in general, unhappy. Evan took action.
    "Retreat!" he called, "general retreat! now!" He peeled out of the crowd fast as he'd come in and started back across the street, only to turn. Something was wrong. Where was Theo? Above the carefully gelled and braided heads he could see a commotion. Sighing, he entered the crowd again, pushing his way through, and found Theo on the ground with a neanderthal standing over him and laughing.
    "Come on," said Evan, and quickly picked Theo up. "Sorry," he said, "we've gotta go." Before the huge kid could react, Evan had pulled Theo back through, out, and across the street.
    The band was not the same size that it had been. In fact, they were down to 7.
    "Well," said Theo, grinning but a little shaken up, "that sucked." Murmers all around, and friends prepared to go home.
    "There they are!" They suddenly heard in the distance. A school cop was approaching with the big visitor who'd knocked down Theo. Behind him trailed two girls and another guy.
    "What's going on here?" asked the cop. A boring conversation followed, with the police officer concluding at the end, almost philosophically, "Now that's just dumb. I'm not surprised... I'm not surprised he knocked you down," before walking away. Surprised to be without supervision, the huge kid stared at Theo and Evan and the rest, but at Theo first and foremost.
    "I'm gonna kick your ass, you little nerd shit. You assholes think you're all so smart here, don't you?" The visitor feinted forward and laughed when Theo flinched, that very same hurtful laugh, and it was high school all over again.