Nothing to loose

There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer  on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting  her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her  10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer  one of his questions, she owed him $5.00, but every time he could  not answer hers, he'd give her $50.00. The lawyer figured he could  not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted. 

The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth  and the nearest star?" 

Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5.00. then the  blonde asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down  the hill with 4 legs?" 

Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up  everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous  air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry  and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00 

The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the  lawyer insisted, "What is the answer to you question?" 

Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.

 

The rich African king

The beautiful secretary of the president of a bank goes on a sight-seeing tour with a very rich African king who was a very important client. The client out of the blue asks her to marry him. Naturally, the secretary is quite taken aback. However, she remembers what her boss told her, don't reject the guy outright.
So, she tries to think of a way to dissuade the businessman from wanting to marry her. After a few minutes, the woman says to the man, "I will only marry you under three conditions. First, I want my engagement ring to be a 75-carat diamond ring with a matching 200-carat diamond tiara." The African king pauses for awhile. Then, he nods his head and says, "No problem! I have. I have." Realizing her first condition was too easy the woman says to the man, "I want you to build me a 100-room mansion in New York. As a vacation home, I want a chateau built in the middle of the best wine country in France." The African king pauses for awhile. He whips out his cellular phone and calls some brokers in New York and in France. He looks at the woman, nods his head and says, "Okay, okay. I build. I build." Realizing that she only has one last condition, the secretary knows that she'd better make this a good one.
She takes her time to think and finally she gets an idea. A sure-to-work condition. She squints her eyes, looks at the man and says, rather coldly, "Since I like sex, I want the man I marry to have a 14-inch member." The man seems a bit disturbed. He cups his face with  his hands and rests his elbows on the table, all the while muttering in African dialect. 

Finally, after what seemed like forever, the king shakes his head, looking really sad, and says to the woman, "Okay, okay. I will cut it. I will cut it."

 

A bet whit a batender

This guy was in a bar the guy tells the bartender "Bet you $300.00, I can put this beer bottle on the other side of the room and pee into it.

The bartender knew that was impossible and was an easy way of making money said alright. so the guy put the beer bottle on the other side of the room and tried instead of making it in the beer bottle he peed all over the bartender and the bar.

The bartender said laughing," That's $300.00" The guy said OK and walked away so glad. the bartender asked him why he was so happy the guy simply replied "Well, you see those guys back there, I bet them $1000.00 that I could pee all over you and your bar and that you would laugh about

What is politics

Son: Dad, I have a special report for school. Can I ask you a question?

Dad: Sure son, what's the question?

Son: What is politics?

Dad: Well son, let's take our home for example. I am the wage earner,  so let's call me the management. Your mother is the administrator of the  money, so let's call her the government. We take care of you and your  needs, so let's call you the people. We'll call the maid the working class  and your baby brother the future. Understand?

Son: I'm not really sure dad, I'll have to think about it.

That night, the boy is awakened by his baby brother's crying, so he went to  see what was wrong. Discovering that the baby had a heavily soiled nappy,  the boy went to his parent's room and found his mother fast asleep. He than  went to the maid's room, where, peeking through the keyhole, he saw his  father in bed with the maid. The boy's knocking went totally unheard. The boy  went back to his room and went to sleep.

The next morning...

Son: Dad, I think I understand politics.

Dad: That's great son, explain it to me in your own words.

Son: While the management is screwing the working class, the government is  fast asleep, the people are being completely ignored and the future is full of shit