May 2010
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International Driving Permit today. Not something that can be got at the post office in Liverpool, you have to go to a newsagent. Good job I want a paper too. It means having to get some of those "passport" photographs from a booth that can only make you realise what a fugly git you really are. Some days I wonder where I get the courage to go out.
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Super Bikes at Oulton Park - always starts sunny, progresses to being wind-swept, cold, rainy, miserable. Great racing, despite the fact that the last 600 race was called off. Very little as good as watching and hearing Harleys racing.
 Tomorrow is the start of off-road training. If I'm still typing on Friday I guess I didn't break my hands.
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Endfield Bullets - not much fun on the road, even less off it. What a fantastic day. It's always Christmas in Trowbridge (well, in the Sports Bar). Bullets have rubbish suspension, crap brakes, terrible gear changing, the controls on the opposite sides, and stall when you come to a junction (oh, and no electric starter).
 So, having taken a lax Wednesday I trundled off to Trowbridge, near Bath, and to a place called the Polebarn Hotel. From the interweb pictures it looks like it might sit in fairly massive grounds, but it's on a roundabout, opposite a fairly seedy looking sports bar. Still, it was pretty good. 4 of us divided into 2 rooms, each room with a double and a single. I let Harvey have the double, based on the fact that if he had the single and got lonely, he might crawl into the double. This way around, he wouldn't be leaving the comfort of his luxury bed only to discover that I am not Sarah in more things than just name.
Under Mike's guidance we found Trowbridge's award winning curry house, which at first glance seemed to only be a take-away, but tucked around the corner was the main restaurant. Having eaten my body weight in poppadums, and everyone suitably fattened we went to the "sports bar" for a night cap. There were 3 other people in there, 2 who worked behind the bar, so we headed off to the pool table with our drinks. I know that the young barmaid said something to me that included the fact that she had a misspent youth, but I didn't understand the rest so can only hope that she's not still waiting behind the kebab shop.
Thursday looked like rain, but it turned out fine, if overcast. Which is more than can be said for the bikes. Pretty much our briefing consisted of telling us how rotten they are, with no brakes, poor suspension, difficult gear changing, false neutrals...and that was just as road bikes.
 Getting them onto the farm tracks and trails of Wiltshire their true brown colours shone menacingly. However, the countryside is magnificant, and we bumped and skidded between army artillery fire until a pub lunch. The one notable moment was when Harvey binned his, going over a furrow. Thankfully he was just beaten up, and the bike could be salvaged with a spanner and a few good kicks.
 My overall impression was of a exhausting, fun day, and a little bit of a warning as to how we might fare on the big trip. It's going to be a lot hotter, the roads will a lot worse, and we'll be doing much longer distances...ouch.
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Appearing indignant seems to be a method to indicate that you are right. As powerfully displayed by Joe Power, psychic, on Derren Brown's programme last night. I think Mr. Brown was a little soft in letting Power off the hook by suggesting that maybe what is more important than him actually being in contact with the dead, is the comfort he brings people. False comfort and at quite some cost. I think I'll learn to cold read and then tell you what you want to hear and then you will love me and pay me. I wouldn't be surprised if right now you are thinking about an orange vegetable, a carrot (thank you Sam). Love me! Pay me!
Fear me.
Looks like I am obsessing about "our Joe". Turns out that others are too...
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If I never have to read another dissertation it might be just too soon. Right now though I am saved by the return of the drilling. When you can't work, or just don't want to, it's probably best to surf.
I was asked by the big cheeses to do a talk, and agreed to, and they haven't bothered to put my name on the posters. Leave it to the loud mouths, to the loud mouths comes everything.
Sent off for my visa the other day. Whilst in Wiltshire general opinion seemed to be that I had left it too late so will be left behind. Not sure what I'll do if that happens.
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Hooray for kit. I am the proud owner of a Petzl e+Lite headlamp. It's quite cool, it flashes, has red and white lights, and you don't have to wear it like a big cyclops deformity on your forehead. Anyway, I got it from a company called Cell Pack Solutions who got it to me quickly, safely, and a good price. If you need batteries, lights, stuff like that, give them a try.
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Visa arrived, insurance done, it's almost like an administrative party has been going on and all the good will is shining on me. It's probably true that from now on my life will be great in every possible way.
Pete Churchill is the guy running the Supersing Jazz sessions for the concert at the Phil. He is very cool, but his album is currently unavailable, which is a shame.
I've not been to Keith's for ages, but, it being a Tuesday and all we thought it might be fun to see what's changed. As far as I can tell, bugger all. Allegedly there's been some kind of health & safety issue with the place recently. The highlight to an evening at Keith's is the men's toilet, and thank goodness nothing has changed there.
Well, maybe one thing - now there is no water cistern to run into the urinary trough, so over a busy night there's going to be a build up of liquid (as more people put their fag ends and milkyway wrappers in) and a consequential build up of all-man marsh gas. Someone goes in there for a sneaky Marlboro and the place is going to go up like a deep water BP oil well.
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The bastard bike battery is flat again...how much energy does that alarm drain? Going to have to go solar...
Had an interview with a Norwegian newspaper about why people might make false allegations about rape. The feeling I got was they were coming from the angle that it was people trying to get attention, rather than considering the possibility that sometimes people make real allegations, but then withdraw them because of the way in which society, the courts etc treat women who make allegations of rape.
Outnumbered - what a great show.
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The frailty and beauty of life is all around, but probably only comes into consciousness on odd occasions, which is a shame. An awareness of it is likely to make you wonder how exactly you are making the most of it doing whatever you are doing, unless you are bettering lives in some important way. Even then, what is "better" and what is "important". Buggered if I know.
What I do know is that the doorway to the answers is not through Radio 4's programme, "Something Understood". It's like Sir Tully looks things up on Wikipedia and than smashes them together in some weird intellectual soup, with long sections of music that no one has heard of. Just like matter has its anti-matter and electrons their protons, so it is time for Something Understood to have its Everything Misunderstood and I believe that I might be the antithesis of Sir Mark Tully. In my dreams that would seem entirely appropriate.
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I get quite a lot of spam-mail offering me ways to increase the length, width, and firmness of my penis.
 I am also told that this is because ladies prefer it that way. Presumably only up to a point. I believe there was a man in the 70s called King Dong who was more frightening than arousing, but then any idiot can cover a length of hosepipe with make-up and pose for pictures. Anyway, it seems to me that either spam-mail is gender-targeted, or that we are really only tackling this problem from one side. I have never been offered a product that would reduce vaginal girth. In line with much feminist thinking, women actually have the solution to men not meeting their expectations (again) in their own hands, as it were. Don't rely on me to get some non-doctor Swedish penile vacu-pump or live on a diet of Goji berries and L-Argenine, no. If we can create a Frankenstein bacteria, if we can reduce stockpiles of nuclear weapons, we can find a bilateral solution to this, apparently, frequent, age-old, and massively frustrating problem. I'll drink to that.
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No solar panels, which is a shame as the sun is high in the sky, so having to resort to standard electricity and a bigger CO2 footprint to get the bike charged and good to go tomorrow.
BBQ weather, but no BBQ to go to. Meatloaf sang a song vaguely linked to that concept, "All Dressed Up and No Place to Go".
No Norwegian stardom today...
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In Saudi Arabia there is something called the Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice, consisting of volunteers who prevent women talking to men and the nation having a good time. The other day a woman shot at them. Excellent. It sounds like something out of Harry Potter. Part of their brief is to stop homosexual stuff, fornication, or the "proselytizing of non-Muslim religions". Amazing that that Muslims don't tolerate any discussion of non-Muslim stuff, but demand it in non-Muslim countries. I expect it's because they are right. However, not content with being wholly miserable, apparently on February 14th they make a special effort to make sure that absolutely no one is having anything like laughs. Marvellous. Sounds like a fun place to take one's beloved.
We can always rely on the US to be even more bonkers than really bonkers places. Supposedly Americans are behind various campaigns in Uganda that are out to be intolerant of people. One such person, Scott Lively, (note that on his most recent book, Redeeming the Rainbow, full of more anti-gay nonsense, he refers to himself as Dr. Scott Lively. The doctorate was achieved through a 4-year undergraduate, evening class programme, here) wrote a book called The Pink Swastika suggesting that gay people were the real force behind Nazism and things like the Holocaust. Weirdly enough he is the top dog of something called Abiding Truth Ministries. Presumably the name is ironic.
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Dan Reed. Genius.
 Also worth checking out Rob Daiker, who played the support slot.
In an attempt to stay technologically relevant I have started messing about with Twitter. I'm not sure that it's much more than a social wanger-contest, my follower list is longer than your follower list. How many people really give an arse about the tiny details of Stephen Fry's life? So far I've not been tempted to do similar as it would be a string of, "I'm sitting in front of the computer" every hour. Except when I wasn't. But if I'm doing something interesting why would I tweet?
Somewhere along the line this has lost its thread, which was meant to be about "the trip", so...waiting on another piece of kit, a Kodak zx-1, which is a small video recorder. According to reviews it's pretty good for what it is and I'm hoping to be able to attach it to the bike, Long-Way Down stylee, and maybe even interview myself so I can find out what I am doing and what I am thinking. I'll have to practice first so plan to see if I can get it on the Tractor and then try not to film myself falling off.
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The bad news, on Google you can't add your own videos, only videos that are on youTube (I guess it keeps the webspace free). The good news, according to the Norwegian newspaper I am an "ekspert i rettsmedisinsk psykologi". It's a lot better than what I am usually told that I am.
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Paul Cusick - if you like Peter Gabriel then you might very well like Paul Cusick. If you pre-pay for his up-coming album you get put on his cool wall, which is cool.
A man studying criminology in the UK is being questioned about having possibly committed 3 (at least) murders. Apparently he is researching serial killers. I think that's taking one's research a little too far. It does raise the question, why are we interested in the things that we are interested in? Is there necessarily a similarity between a person who studies people who do "X" and the people who do "X"? I wonder if clinical trainees, pound for pound, would endorse more psychological hang-ups than a comparison group. There's probably a study in there.
Recently a major British newspaper did an article on the movers and shakers in the "blogosphere" so I went and had a look at some of them. The one that they suggest is best for a "Belle Du Jour"-like experience is, uhm, well, rubbish really. The article suggests that the author writes about her, "sex life as a female undergraduate". That's only true if me writing, "I have had sex" counts as me writing about my sex life. Good Vibrations it isn't.
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In almost every bit of bonkerosity there is a smattering of sense. If you disregard all the psychic awareness babble, then this article is, I think, pointing out when of the great truths if we are ever going to really make ourselves the better people we might want to be..
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