Date : March 11th 2007 Saturday 

This is an attempt to try to put in words the journey that I am about to embrace. I began this journey some 36 years ago when I decided to enroll in the seminary. I was young and really did not know where I really wanted to go. Being brought up in a very religious Italian family. My mother, still alive , attended mass daily and prayed her rosary daily. My father , even though visibly  tough, prayed daily as well. He would make sure that, as an alter server, I would not miss my daily masses. My decision to enter the seminary was based on what I understood to be a calling. I know now that it was my attempt to place meaning in my life that before did not exist.

That was then and now I feel that through much reflection and prayer I am ready to say "yes" to the call of deaconate. I have attended only two sessions. One with the large group of 110 men and wives. There are 7 men that are single. I am one of these men. Out of these 110 men the diocese will offer that opportunity to 40. I God chooses I pray that His will be done and if and when I am selected I will serve. We were given the opportunity to look back at our origin of family. Looking back in our family to look as such things as divorce, deaths, acholism and any other areas that stood out. This has proven to be very helpful to see where I came from and how this has affected my life and personality. Great speakers and great presentations were given and the opportunity to pray for each other as we all discern this important decision.

Date 03/12/2007 Sunday

    Today is Sunday and I am not scheduled to work at the Depot. This has given me an opportunity to reflect on the discernment process. My thought is that the questions that come is that it is not my choice but God's calling. The only thing that I have to do is to respond. If the spirit moves me then the response is an affirmative one. The response is dependant on my faith and trust in God. If I surrender myself to His control knowing that all will be right then my response has to be yes. Yesterday at the morning fellowship meeting a comment was made that speaking directly to God gives one an ability not to be completely honest. If there is an accountability partner then the true questions can be raised. The question is weather or not I am being totally honest. I am in constant prayer and opening myself to my honesty. I know that , with the help of the Father , I will accomplish what God wants me to accomplish. All in all it comes down to my response and weather or not  my journey  and path  is  in this  direction.

Diaconate Reflections