Animal Control

Hawthorne County , Illinois

had to lay off Animal Control officers

Bill McKenty and Frank Hartford

due to the budget.

In no time, the lack of animal control

led to chaos and looting.

Dogs trotted the streets,

devolving quickly into street dogs:

Medium-sized, short-haired,

cunning and quick-

The way all dogs were

before we pulled

poodle and dachshund nature

from them by the science

of selective breeding.

Cats rapidly regained long,

curving fangs.   They crouched

beneath unkempt shrubs

and pounced on passers-by,

piercing their shoes and metatarsals.

Tropical fish grew large and dull

in the county reservoir and their scales

were visible in drinking water.

They dreamed of statues of

deep sea divers and

streams of air bubbles.

Baboons escaped the zoo

and terrorized citizens--

Invading their homes,

drinking their liquor and

trying on their best clothes.

No other zoo animals survived

The Baboon Wars.

Flocks of parakeets nested overnight

and made mounds of droppings

on suburban vehicles.

By day they burst chattering from trees

and patrolled the skies in swarms

like pixilated pastel clouds.

Those that had been taught to talk,

cursed and taunted their former owners

from the sky.