chelsea - couponclipinqueen

Remember ... Always

Chelsea Renae Acosta ~ 1/26/07

On January 26.2007 Our beautiful baby girl was born silent ~

We believe that she is waiting for us in Heaven

This is in her memory.

I was Honored to share about Chelsea, in hopes of helping others deal with their loss:

http://theshapeofamother.com/blog/3rd-baby-stillborn-40-weeks-anonymous/

And again:

http://theshapeofamother.com/blog/an-update-dolly/

Yes there are Typos :)

More Updates:

http://theshapeofamother.com/blog/another-update-dolly/

If you are blessed by what you read here, please feel free to e-mail me:

couponclipinqueenatgmail.com

I spelled out the @ to hopefully prevent spam.

Chelsea’s Hope

Your life, though ever so brief

Your face, ever so sweet

Though not in God’s plan for us to behold

Still has a purpose, as yet to unfold

In this we have hope

Your life, though ever so brief

In this we have hope

Even as we grieve

You are with our Hope

                                               One day, we will be too

                                                Just know how much we love you

                                                  And that your Hope is ours too.

In Memory of Chelsea Renae Acosta

Author: Peggy Riddick 01/27

An Open Letter to Our family and friends 2-6-07:

We are all doing well, it was and is the hardest thing Ryan and I have ever had to face- BUT God is sustaining us daily. We are healing quickly in our hearts but there seems to be moments that trigger grief. We are not angry at God because already Chelsea has been an instrument of healing to so many. We have been told numerous times by men and women that seeing Chelsea in the hospital, or her funeral brought them a sense of closure for their own experiences of loss. There are stories of still births, abortions, miscarriages, death, adoptions and infertility that these wonderful people have carried for years, that upon seeing Chelsea they felt released/healed and closure. We had strangers who attended Chelsea’s funeral and who visited me in the hospital and they were all welcomed. Even the Nurses and Doctors cried and shared stories of healing from watching us grieve. Our faith in God has been a light in our darkest hour. Ryan and I came to understand that even if Chelsea never lived one second outside of the womb, she had been created for a purpose that was far greater than we could have ever imagined or hoped for her. We take great comfort in knowing that she has had the unique experience of never feeling pain, grief, worry or fear. She went strait from the safety and warmth of my womb to the safety and warmth of Jesus’s arms.

The children are fine , they know that Chelsea is in Heaven and that it is a wonderful place. Sarah (4 years old) told me that in Heaven Chelsea had a "BIG Dollar store", Lots of toys, candy, and movies. Jacob (3 years old) Just wanted to know that if we cannot bring the baby home can we have a puppy? They make me smile and even helped Ryan and I find some joy again. They had a few minutes each to see her about 3 hours after she was born and to kiss her and say goodbye. We told them that she was born, but that she was not breathing so she will not come home, but that she will go to Heaven and be with Jesus. This has really made me appreciate my other two babies so much more.

This was completely unexpected, we were truly shocked because Chelsea was moving Thursday evening, so we went in Friday morning as scheduled. We were scheduled for a C-section because with Jacob (he was breech) I had a c-section. The Dr. could not find her heartbeat. We only had less than one hour to absorb the shock that she was dead before they delivered her. It was the most silent birth I had ever seen. When Sarah and Jacob were born there was crying and laughter and talking, with Chelsea you could have heard a pin drop as everyone tried to be respectful of Ryan and I’s feelings. We hoped that by some chance there would be a miracle.

The hospital staff could not have been more gracious, helpful or kind. One of the nurses assisted Ryan bathing Chelsea and dressing her in the outfit that we had chosen for her. Each one of the nurses spent extra time with me just listening. I was never made to feel that they did not have time. They took time to listen, hug me and cry with me. Several Dr’s from the Group for Women visited me . One even made two personal calls to me at home to check on me. Several staff members prayed for me and with me (off the record of course).

When she was delivered we found that the cause of her death was the cord was wrapped around her neck 4 times and she had two knots in it. You probably know this, the cord is the babies source of food, blood and oxygen. The Dr.'s said it had been quick, and there was no pain, because babies in the womb die in an instant when the cord knots. There is no prevention . This cannot be seen in a sonogram. It just happens sometimes when they have a really long cord. Ryan and I were planning to have my tubes tied but we decided not to do that. We are going to wait about a year for my body to heal and then we will see if God blesses us with another baby. I always thought that people who lost a child and then wanted to try again were just trying to replace the lost child- I assure you that is not the case. We just feel that it is right for us to try again, but no child could ever replace another.

Chelsea Renae was a beautiful baby, she had Sarah's nose and chin and head, Jacob's eyes, hair and ears feet and hands. She only weighed 4lbs and 15 oz. because she was very dehydrated. Under normal circumstances she would have been between 6 and 7 lbs.

January 26, 2008

Today makes 1 year since our precious baby girl was stillborn. It was a terriable day that will never be forgotten. I am so grateful for the family I have and I am jealous of those in Heaven who get to know her now. So Happy Birthday little Princess. There is a beautifal Video Tribute that someone made on You Tube, Take a look here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ei5W7vwuod4

A letter from Heaven

Dear Family,

Some things I'd like to say
but first of all to let you know
that I arrived okay.

I'm writing this from Heaven
where I dwell with God above
where there's no more tears or
sadness, there is just eternal love.

Please do not be unhappy
just because I'm out of sight,
remember that I'm with you
every morning, noon and night.

That day I had to leave you
when my life on Earth was through,
God picked me up and hugged me
and He said "I welcome you.

It's good to have you back again,
you were missed while you were gone,
as for your dearest family
they'll be here later on.

I need you here so badly
as part of My big plan,
there's so much that we have to do
to help our mortal man."

Then God gave me a list of things
He wished for me to do,
and foremost on that list of mine
is to watch and care for you.

And I will be beside you
every day and week and year,
and when you're sad,
I'm standing there
to wipe away the tear.

And when you lie in bed at night,
the days chores put to flight,
God and I are closest to you
in the middle of the night.

When you think of my life on Earth
and all those loving years,
because you're only human
they are bound to bring you tears.

But do not be afraid to cry,
it does relieve the pain,
but remember there would be no flowers,
unless there was some rain.

I wish that I could tell you
of all that God has planned,
but if I were to tell you,
you wouldn't understand.

But one thing is for certain,
though my life on Earth is o'er.
I am closer to you now
than I ever was before.

And to my very many friends,
trust God knows what is best.
I'm still not far away from you,
I'm just beyond the crest.

There are rocky roads ahead of you,
and many hills to climb,
but together we can do it
taking one day at a time.

It was always my philosophy
and I'd like it for you too,
that as you give unto the World
so the World will give to you.

If you can help somebody
who is in sorrow or in pain,
then you can say to God at night
my day was not in vain.

And now I am contented
that my life it was worthwhile,
knowing as I passed along the way
I made somebody smile.

So if you meet somebody
who is down and feeling low,
just lend a hand to pick him up
as on your way you go.

When you are walking
down the street
and you've got me on your mind,
I'm walking in your footsteps
only half a step behind.

And when you feel the gentle breeze
or the wind upon your face,
that's me giving you a great big hug
or just a soft embrace.

And when it's time for you to go
from that body to be free,
remember you're not going,
you are coming here to me,
And I will always love you
from that land way up above.

Will be in touch again soon.
P.S. God sends His Love
Signed, your son or daughter.
(Author Unknown)

January 26, 2009

Well it has been two years today. I sit here thinking of you my angel. The well wishes don't come any more , people seem to have forgotten- Your family remembers. We miss you my sweet. Your daddy and I are talking about if we will ever try again. Not to replace you, no never, to replace you. I don't know. The pain has stopped but I still miss you daily. I sneek peaks at this site and at your one photo sometimes , but only when your big sis and big bro are not there, they ask questions , that I still cannot answer.

How is Heaven? Do you bounce on Granpa Eddie's Knee? Does Grandaddy Howard give you hugs? I love you sweetie- someday I will be with you again. I hope that you have friends and playmates there.

Love forever,

Mommy

December 13, 2009

Going on year 3 - I think of you today- This Christmas would be the 1st one that you would be able to participate. Your brother and sister continue to grow and I wonder what you would look like now. What would you want for Christmas? Jacob still speaks about you at times. You are a real part of our family. This must be what it is like to give a child up for adoption. I cannot wait to meet you someday. Do you see us? Are you one of the great witnesses? You are so blessed to be in the company of Jesus and angels.

Love you my angel baby,
Mommy

January 27, 2010

Yesterday was 4 years. Time has flown and healed me so much. I remembered you but did not sit down alone to write. This year is so different; in June you will have a baby sister. I do not fear for her, neither does your daddy or sister. Jacob seems to need reassurance quite often. You would be preschool age now and would be excited to be having a baby coming. How is Heaven? Are you watching? Do you grow or are you grown? You will always be a part of our family and a part of my testimony to God’s greatness and you will always be missed. I love you sweet heart and cannot wait to see you again.

Love, Mommy

January 26, 2011

Happy 5th birthday Sweet girl. I used to sing this to you. Do you remember? I will never forget...

Lord, hold my child close to You,
And if You will, I plea,
That as You hold her close to You,
She remember when I held her close to me.
~A.R. 3/2/08