Right now as I need to do some heavy, heavy thinking. And thinking is my job: Analyzing the data of data; finding meaning within the relationship of time, people, and work, and then deriving causality from these interdependent relationships of intangible data with tangible data to make decisions. I listen to conversations everyday from coworkers not only so I can understand and contribute to the topic, but also so I can dissolve it into actionable meaning related to something they may not even realize. The way a producer listens closely to music for cues and imperfections to work with, and not as enjoyment, is how I listen to a conversation - like a mass of data. Most of it completely useless, dancing around the real point for minutes. But I focus, I wait, and then I capture the meaning when it surfaces. I glean project information from conversational data and then regurgitate it back at the team for clarification and/or completion so I can finally relate it to the project and boil it down to accountable and manageable actions. For the record, an hour of talking yields only minutes of useful conversation. And that's only part of what I do, but the point of all of this is that I'm good at my job because this is how I am not only with work, but also in my everyday life. This cold, expressionless, visage is the one I assume more than any other. Despite my ability to skillfully assume very many other, more animated, expressions - which most people might more readily associate with me - and generally being a very social and fun-loving person, I'm mostly scrutinizing the world around me. Even when I'm pinballing around a bar between friends with a drink in my hand. Everything has data behind it. Everything happens for a reason that can be analyzed, and - to a certain degree - understood, and managed. Interpersonally, it makes for some exchanges I imagine are awkard for people I talk to. When it matters, I apply the same focus I do on conversations with my friends as I do with coworkers, and If I don't understand the meaning of their words, especially when matched with tonality, mood, and context among other things, I ask them questions to help clarify meaning. I treat it like I would treat any other data. And I don't feel odd in doing so, as I'm sure it has saved me dozens of hours of confusion and unnecessary communication combined. My oversensitivity to meaning sometimes causes me to overthink otherwise simple things, but that's the only pitfall. And that's rarely harmful. Intrapersonally, however, this disposition has given me more than ever to think about with my new life. That's because my burden now is that of opportunity. I can travel, work, and live almost anywhere. The sheer volume of options and their implications is overwhelming when I stop to think and make life choices: "Will I know anyone there? Do I even need friends right now? If I keep living like this I'm destined to be alone until I stop ... but I'm growing and learning so much! Will I miss my family too much? I am so grateful to have a great one that I love, but I can't stay around RI and MA ... it's stifling to my personal growth. I wonder how long Cassie is really going to last ... Should I just ex-patriate altogether?" The list goes on and on, really. This rigor serves me extremely well in the workplace, as when it's applied to a contained entity like a web design project, well - the questions can only go so far. But when applied to my life, it's not so easy. There are far too many intangibles and unknowns. I'm not afraid of risks, but I'm afraid of uncertainty. That is, I like to know my risks before I possibly assume them. I don't know where I'm going or what I'm doing post-op, yet. My current employers aren't budging much on my request for information on full-time employment or raise possibilities, claiming they need more time to make a decision. Which does, in fact, make sense -- but I'm not sure how much time I have to give, at least while here in RI. I'm still quite sure I want my own space; a place to return to if and when needed. A simple, effective home. But something attractive enough to sublet or houseswap so I can continue travel if and when I choose. But with all this uncertainty about the future of my current job, I'm not comfortable committing to a lease right now. There are still very many things left to unfold over the next coming weeks, though. Including my follow-up surgery. I'll refrain from pontificating ad-nauseum, as I oft do on this topic, right now - but I am anxious to say the least. I know it's going to be for the best, but there's still uncertainty there - and, like I said, I don't like uncertainty. I don't like not knowing exactly what to expect from this procedure - how much better the chances of my wrist returning to normal will be, how much less pain or discomfort I can expect ... Well, at least I know for certain that there

Vest: Britches Tie: Gentry Shirt: Quality Brand Slacks: Quality Brand Shoes: Dr. Schol's Last week, I secretly used my day off from work to attend a job interview in the big smoke. I kept it a secret so as not to jinx the opportunity. Well, a week has passed, so I guess that I didn't impress them enough. Actually, fourty-minutes into the "interview" session, it was pretty apparent that I was not going to be given serious consideration for the job. Admittedly, I'm quite upset about this because I was the only qualified applicant out of the entire group that I interviewed with. The interview was conducted "bear pit" style, with all four candidates vying for the single opening of "media researcher and analyst" at a Toronto media consulting firm that specializes in emergent and "social" media. In most cases, this interview format is meant to expediate mass hirings and is primarily used to identity candidates who would made for effective co-workers/interns. But in this instance, we were expected to take the other candidates down by outshining them and coming off as being more clever and qualified than the rest. Most of my college admittance interviews were conducted like this, and all of those were dismal failures because my style is, as we say in sales, "under sell, over deliver." This time, all of my opponents were women (something that is very common at the bottom of the heap, but not so much at a top of the game), most with marketing degrees from "Canada's Ivy League" and one with a marketing communications diploma from a community college. None had ever undertaken any sort of media research or specifically studied research methods for media or media theory in general, a fact that I managed to force out of them as a strategy to disqualify them. Job interviews, in general, are a complete crap-shoot and I've never been hired based on the strength of one. I've always known someone within the company. Actually, this one time I walked into a job interview and was hired a minute into it based solely on the fact that the producer's assistant recognized me from school. He didn't even know my name or my area of study. See, crap-shoot.