Had two dreams back to back today. With the first one I know what it meant…it was just my brain reminding me how easily it could have gone wrong…the second one was about something I need to do and I have a 4 day deadline to do it. Life. I’m going to keep today simple and kind of flow with yesterday/today, which was a breath of fresh air not sleeping in my house. I love the guys. Forever hilarious! :) To everyone who posted on my last photo and told me to keep my heart open and that one day I’ll understand love or love will come to me ect…first of all thanks for your comments they were really sweet! Secondly, I know that I’m young. I’m 21 c’mon I’m a baby! But as much as love confuses me on a regular basis, I feel it all the time, I see it all the time, and I’m in pain from it most of the time. I know its there and it took me a while to figure it out. I mean there are different forms of love. People say the peak is falling in love with a person and I get why. I mean that is complicated enough as it is because a person is not an object or a thing. I fall in love with things on a regular basis (yeah I’m a love whore. Wooo!), but I can’t fall in love with a person on a regular basis…that would be really weird! It would loose its value instantly. I guess what I was trying to say originally was that since I never saw love in my own house it was harder for me to see. Love is a learning experience and I’ve been questioning the heck out of it since I was a child. I know I’ll never fully understand love but I know I’ll always feel it…even if sometimes I want to just reach into my chest and rip the feeling out with my bare hands. The question I’ve been asking myself lately about love is probably if its worth it. It can be so good sometimes. It can elevate you on a higher cloud to places you could never picture in your mind…and just feeling pure love as you intertwine. But most of the time, it just hurts like hell. :x Kinda in the mood to cook something but there’s still no food in my house. I’ve been watching the Chopped seasons lately and it always make hungry to try something new. Mhmmmm! Time to call the mamas and go food shopping. :D

mar 4: i decided that i don't need to go out and get pictures of flowers or raindrops to make my project365 viewer-worthy. i am a mama first, and this is what i do. i clean, i cook, i change diapers. it's not always pretty, it's never glamorous, but it's colorful and it's my life. from now on, project365 will reflect that. of course, i love taking walks and photographing nature, but i started feeling pressured to meet some crazy expectation i put on myself, and i was starting to not enjoy p365. i can't always get out and take pictures -- sometimes, i clean and cook chicken. so i'm not going to hold myself to some photographic standard for the rest of the project. my ultimate goal is to give you all a peek into my daily life, and i'm going to do my best to do that. believe it or not, i don't always get to take long, lingering walks in the rain. *gasp* today, i boiled a whole fryer chicken to use for tonight's supper - chicken spaghetti w/ loads of cheese. i also save the chicken stock and freeze the rest of the chicken for future meals. i mean, if that's not glamorous, i don't know what is. ;) btw, NO correlation between the title & how i feel.