Just some thoughts and feelings......
Instead of writing an autobiography, I write on topics that are related to
me, or that interest me, and you can judge what a person I am by reading what
I write, what I think and how I feel. This page and the
scrapbook page serve for this purpose.
DISCLAIMER:
All passages on this page are not meant to be of any high literary value. It is the author's intention that the reader can get to know more about the author through these passages. All articles copyright © 1995 by Chen, Chi Ming Hubert.
When I lived in Hong Kong, I thought I was a 'Teochow-ese'. However, the
newspaper told me that I was a 'Hongkonger'. Now, I think I am Chinese. Yet, my
passport persuades me that I am something else. Who am I? Am I simply Hubert
Chen? Or am I Chen Chi Ming? And what do these words mean?
Some people say that I am mature. Some people think that I am very
independent in studying and that I help the others in academics. However,
someone once said that I am the kind of people whose countenance is forever young
and never grows old. Mature and young, two opposite adjectives both apply to me
paradoxically. Am I mature, or am I young?
Our status changes as we are in different situations, holding different
positions and meeting different people. As our positions differ, so do our
behaviours. When we are meeting a certain kind of people or doing a certain work,
we have responsibilities, attitudes and feelings that in other situations would
alter. At home, I am my parents' son; I have filial love and piety towards them,
I obey them, and I stay under their protection. At school, I am my schoolmates'
friend; we are equal, we play together, and we help each other in studying. In
the cub scout pack, I am an instructor; I am superior to the cubs, I teach them,
and I direct them to work. I might be very childish with my family, but I might
be like an adult in the presence of the scouts. The son, the friend and the
instuctor are all the same person, I, but of different versions in different
environemnts. We change as the environment changes, in order to accommodate
ourselves to it. We do this so naturally that we seldom notice doing it. Thus,
a single adjective can never describe a person accurately on the whole, and in
every environment. Altough the son, the friend and the instuctor are physically
identical, they are very different in their behaviours. As Aristotle says, 'Form
changes, but Matter does not change.'
Life is like a chemical system, in which equilibrium is never reached.
It is an opened system affected by external changes, such a the changes in the
atmosphere, the temperature and many other factors of its environemnt. It is
constantly shifting to a position which is best to it in the environment. Life
is always changing, too. It changes so quickly that today, we may be quite
different from who we were yesterday. Often, even we do not know ourselves, but
merely our pasts. We become mature gradually without realizing it until we have
a chance to reveal our capability. We work harder without knowing it until we
receive a good mark in a test. Perhaps, a person can only be defined precisely
when his life is finally at its end, 'his system at equilibrium'.
Although we might not know who we are, we could nevertheless create who
we are, or who we shall be. the change in a chemical system is often imposed by
the environment, but it can also be imposed by ourselves. If we want to get a
certain product out of a reaction, we can add the appropriate reactants into it.
If we want to speed the reaction up, we can increase the concentration of the
reactants. Similarly, as our actions change ourselves, we can be what we want to
be, by taking the appropriate actions and work towards our goal. If I want to be
a pianist, I should practise playing the piano frequently; if I want to be an
athelete, I should participate in a large variety of sports. Usually, the more
effort we put in, the greater the result is to be. Nevertheless, the result of
our endeavours varies, just as the percentage yield of different reactions and in
different environments also varies. We may not know how successful we shall be,
nor may we be able to wait for and realise the end result. Yet, if we do nothing,
there will never be the reaction we desire to have. 'Nothing comes from nothing;
nothing ever could.' (Something Good in The Sound of Music, 1959) Our
'entrepreneurship' is our first step on the road to success.
Considering the question again, who am I? The answer is open for us to
explore -- in our future. Meanwhile, as we have not had a clue of it yet, let us
find out who we were yesterday, and prepare to be who we want to be tomorrow.
-- edited version of the essay written for application to MIT
original written in December, 1994 in West Vancouver;
edited on 10- 3-1996 in MIT, Cambridge
Ahem... You know what? It is really quite hard for me to come up with any
polished articles. So, you will have to wait -- for a long long time.