Asstivities: things your bum does

AutoeLOLicism: 1. making oneself laugh online
2. the masturbatory act of creating self-referential LOLcats/LOLpics, especially LOLavs (see definition below).

Autotoot: the act of self-promotion

Beernevolence: increasing desire to pay for others' drinks as one gets drunk

Beirut: the warehouse/construction zone and previous home of the Hezblog (also known as 151)

Benetechster: your friendly neighbourhood computer supergenius

Bimbetic: adjectival form of “bimbo/bimbette”

Booteme: a fancier way of saying "bottom". Originated by Stephanie Heney

Bussy: somewhere easily accessible by transit

Cheggitoot: ”Check it out,” as inflected by Barry. Can be combined with other memes, i.e. Kenny Cheggins

Clit tent: a ladyboner (as in, “that handbag is so hot, I totally pitched a clit tent”)

Clustercrack: a clusterfuck of crackheads

Cockupied: caught up in a dude to the exclusion of everything else

Congratslyfun: interjection used upon receiving rad news. Originated by my girl Jada Stark

Cracksonian: the area of memory where all classic anecdotes of crazy crackhead behaviour are stored (as in "Did you see her fighting with that popsicle? That's goin' in the Cracksonian.")

Dankity Kane: superlative marijuana

Desprosy: a desperation so acute, things are falling off you in your eagerness to please (Variation: desperrhea). Originated by Anna

Diablocoder: a blog slang glossary (i.e. The Vocabulator)

Dollyoke: Hez's famous Dolly Parton karaoke

Doucheberg: lameness of Titanic proportions, i.e. “that’s just the tip of the doucheberg”

Douchecore: 1. hardcore douchebaggery 2. any film or creative product bearing the hallmarks of douchebaggery

Doucheifesto: a bold and unequivocal declaration of douchebaggery (i.e. this guy)

Doucheterrent: something that keeps douchebags away

Dreadutante: a hippie-about-town

Dudebag: a guy too nice to be a douchebag, but still not someone you’d sleep with; just a bro. Originated by Larissa

Duecdote: a pair of anecdotes that work best when told together (in threes, called a trifecdote)

Dykic: someone whose gaydar is particularly attuned to lesbians

EffBee: Facebook. Used in the request "eff me in the bee", meaning "contact me on Facebook".

Eff-Oh-Cee: (also FOC) Friend of Civixen / reader of the Hezblog. See also Hezbian. Derived from FOW, originated on Whatevs (dot org)
Frenzday: when good friends turn out and make a weeknight party (esp. a Wednesday) feel like a weekend

Funbeer: beer with no pressure to continue having more beer. Originated by Mike & Steve

Funmonger: one who brings/makes the fun

Gawkolyte: a Gawker Media group commenter (less fawning than the slightly derogatory variation"Gawkophant")

Gay bomb: (reference)

Geigh: "gay" (i.e. "geighbourhood")

Gentitlity: the genteel art of breast/cleavage deportment

Guerilla tits: an unexpected and highly tactical assault of topless pictures

Gutapult: the powerful popping of buttons brought on by relaxing one's stomach muscles, usually after a big meal

Guy: any of a range of items one might hope to be passed at a party, including a drink, joint, piece of pizza (as in "Oooh! What's that guy sayin?" "He's saying 'drink me,' dude!")

Hezbian: fan of the Hez. See also Eff-Oh-Cee

Hezheimer's: forgetfulness by (or about) The Hez

Hezidarity: 1. the act of supporting The Hez
2. a sympathetic decision by an individual or community to forego all fun activities in the absence of The Hez

Hezmerizing: Something hypnotic to Hezbians. Originated by Raincoaster

Horrilliant: horrifying, but brilliant

Juggs-ernaut: a bosomy rise to fame

Kenny: (v.) the act of riffing a given word into the "Kenny Loggins" meme (i.e. "She's hot! Kenny Snoggins!") (Alt. "I'm all Kenny'd out.").
(n.) the meme itself (i.e. "It went by so fast, I couldn't even think of a Kenny!"). Originated by Adam & Jen

Kewghore: slutty old betch

Flirtorical: rhetorical questions asked for flirty reasons

Kittyhaus: the crazy catsit that is the current home of the Hezblog

Lezarus: bisexual woman dyke-ily rebounding from a long hetero relationship

LOLavs: LOLpics derived from and/or used as personal avatars in internet forums

LOLodex: the contact details for the people who make you laugh

LOLtinis: drinks + LOLs (in person or online)

Mallionaire: 1. one who only seems rich by local mallgoer standards; a poser 2. a toy/novice shopper

Mellencamp: (n.; adj.) the opposite of a cougar

Memeburger: an internet joke that catches on. Derived from "I Can Has Cheezburger?" (whose cat captions meme has since mated with the PostSecret confessions meme to spawn LOLsecretz, resulting in a double memeburger - or mega-meta-meme - often with cheese)

Memewiener: variant of memeburger, refers to a joke that is done to you rather than by you

Nerdmare: a situation of nightmarish nerdery

NMD: 1. acronym meaning "No More Drummers"
2. the dating strategy adopted in late 2006 that it inspired

Procraftstinating: making stuff in order to avoid working

Promostess: a female concert/party promoter

Rando Calrissian: a handsome, if slightly dubious looking stranger. Derived from "rando," originated on Dear Life

Rape o'clock: any time some total creep is undressing you with his eyes. Originated by CCG.

Religerent: aggressively religious. Originated by Brissy

Ridicularious: so ridiculous it's hilarious

Ridouchulous: ridiculously douchey

ROFLtinis: drinks + ROFLs (in person or online)

Seize the carp: Carpe Diem/Noctem

Shenaniganeer: one who engages in shenanigans, usually as provided by a funmonger

Shevel: (from ‘disheveled’) neatness of appearance (used in the admonishment, “shovel some shevel, Fyvush Finkel!”)

Shish-keboob: the act of being painfully poked in the breast by an underwire that has emerged from one’s bra fabric

Slovigga: pet name for my Slovak sista, Anna

Slunt: slut + cunt, a term of endearment for my English mate, Paul Gregory

Snacktice: band practice with snacks (i.e. chick-style)

Snarkcerity: managing to be simultaneously both sarcastic and sincere

Spazzery: (n.) spazzing out

Spazzoteur: one who sabotages through spazzery

Squinzey Buckingham: someone squinty or wonk-eyed

Streetegy: planning heavily influenced by street smarts. Var: streeteegery - as above, but inherently flawed

Ted: refers to the character Ted Baxter, used to denote a low, resonant style of speaking/singing

Titrantulas: long, spidery nipple hairs

Toketoast: cheers-ing with joints

Tommy Lafucksoreda: variant of the term of endearment "fucksore". Var: Marty FuckSorley

Vajizzer: one's ladyparts

Whiny Amehouse: (see Amy Winehouse) nickname for a drunken complainer

Workaoke: karaoke with one's boss or co-workers

Up Drunkiscope!:  Cheers!