Holidazed-and-confused compilations
of Xmas rock, pop, punk and soul feature
only a few
tunes worthy of hearing more than once a year, if even once in a lifetime.
Well, here are
those
'tis-the-seasonal songs, listed alphabetically by performer.
AC/DC - Mistress for Christmas
All snug in their hotel-room bed, I'm sure.
Arab Strap - Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)
Infinitely preferable to the Mariah Carey and U2 versions of the Darlene Love classic.
Arrogant Worms - Santa's Gonna Kick Your Ass
Nice is not an option this year.
Bangles - Hazy Shade of Winter
Come-all-ye-faithful to the Simon & Garfunkel original.
Beach Boys - Little Saint Nick
Candy-apple red with a ski for a wheel, charmingly covered in 2011 by She & Him.
Big Star - Jesus Christ
Alex Chilton gets spiritual about someone other than himself.
Blink 182 - It's Christmas Time Again
Pretty jaded for a band that probably still believes in Santa.
Bob Dylan - Must Be Santa
Pretty hilarious for the legend behind Saved, Infidels and Slow Train Coming, but the mere
thought of him singing "ho ho ho" is almost as decadent as Rob Halford's Winter Songs, in
which the gay vocalist for
Judas
Priest proclaims his devotion to Jesus.
Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band - Santa Claus Is Coming to Town
A throwaway live B-side that clones Phil Spector's arrangement becomes the "Free Bird"
of December.
Carlene Carter - Rockin' Little Christmas
When not strung out on heroin, Nick Lowe's ex puts the cunt back into
country better than
anyone this side
of Neko Case.
Cocteau Twins - Frosty the Snowman
Melt-on-your-lawn gorgeous.
Collective Soul - Blue Christmas
Just barely edging out Joe Perry's instrumental version.
Critics - She Feels Like Christmas Day
Powerpop passion under the mistletoe.
Cucumbers - Auld Lang Syne
New York's answer to X waxes eloquent on the last day of the year.
Dickies - Silent Night
All is definitely not calm.
Dismemberment Plan - The Ice of Boston
For everyone who's ever been alone on New Year's Eve.
Dread Zeppelin - All I Want for Christmas (Is My Two Front Teeth)
A marvelously merry moment that mashes "How Many More
Times" and "Viva Las
Vegas."
Eels - Christmas Is Going to the Dogs
Stop barking at the roof already.
Eels - Everything's Going To Be Cool This Christmas
'Tis the season to be optimistic.
Elton John - Step into Christmas
Watch out for those reindeer droppings!
El Vez - Feliz Navidad
José Feliciano meets Public Image.
Elvis Presley - Santa Claus Is Back in Town
In a big Cadillac, of course. Still the reigning king
of Christmas, among other lesser
empires.
Everclear - I Will Be Hating You for Christmas
A very loud lump of coal.
Fear - Fuck Christmas
Short and sweet, just like Lee Ving's acting career.
Fishbone - It's a Wonderful Life (Gonna Have a Good Time)
L.A.'s fave funkateers pay a visit to Bedford Falls.
Flaming Lips - Christmas at the Zoo
Also serves as a four-word career overview.
Fleming and John - Winter Wonderland
Sung to Led Zeppelin's "Misty Mountain Hop." Seriously. And brilliantly.
Fleshtones - Six White Boomers
With lead guitar from the Dictators' Ross the Boss.
Fountains of Wayne - I Want an Alien for Christmas
Doesn't everyone?
Fountains of Wayne - Man in the Santa Suit
And all the kids think he looks like Jerry Garcia.
Gary Glitter - Another Rock and Roll Christmas
Glitter critter / pedophile makes parents
nervous when their kids plop down on
his lap.
Gary Hoey - Linus and Lucy
His Ho! Ho! Hoey! compilations admirably update the Ventures'
instrumental-as-anything
approach, but this Vince Guaraldi Charlie Brown classic is my favorite Christmas crank
(also nicely covered by Built to Spill
and the Asylum
Street Spankers).
George Harrison - Ding Dong, Ding Dong
Much better than Paul's, not quite as good as John's, and less cloying than Ringo's . . .
sounds like his career
in a nutshell.
George Thorogood and the (Delaware) Destroyers - Rock and Roll Christmas
Heroically reverent to a fault, but nothing sounds better when you find yourself in a bar
on December 24th.
Graham Parker (with Nona Hendryx) - Soul Christmas
Not exactly Graham's usual turf, but he manages to duel delightfully with a bonafide diva.
Greedies - A Merry Jingle
Members of the Sex Pistols and Thin Lizzy try to edge Slade and Wizzard off December
radio playlists in
the U.K.
Greg Lake - I Believe in Father Christmas
Prognog!
Hanoi Rocks - Dead by Xmas
Sounding strangely more like Sparks than their usual Mötley Cruising.
Hello - Santa Rock
He most certainly do.
Idea - It's About That Time
Jingle all the way.
James Brown - Santa Claus Go Straight to the Ghetto
The caped crusader sets the fat guy's priorities straight.
Jill Sobule - Merry Christmas from the Family
Been there, done that, barfed the fruitcake.
Joan Jett and the Blackhearts - Little Drummer Boy
Gotta love the Keith Moon homage in the middle.
John Lennon - Happy Xmas (War Is Over)
Not this year, but all the more reason to keep overplaying it.
Johnny Winter - Please Come Home for Christmas
Given his name and albino heritage, he obviously belongs here.
Jorma Kaukonen - Christmas Blues
Maybe it's the mistletoe, opines Mr. Hot Tuna.
Judith Owen - Christmas with the Devil
A jazzy rendition of the Spın̈al Tap classic.
Keith Richards - Run Rudolph Run
Has he ever sung better? Trumps every Beatles fan-club disk with a
single single.
King Diamond - No Presents for Christmas
Metallica's favorite inspiration cranks it to 11.
Kinks - Father Christmas
Arch late-period gem reflecting on the greater greed.
Korn - The Night Before Christmas
How the grunge stole Christmas.
Lou Reed - Xmas in February
Typically perverse and perfect.
Manic Street Preachers - Last Christmas
Wham! gets stuffed into the acoustic stocking.
Material Issue - Merry Christmas Will Do
Another year, another girlfriend . . . and I desperately wanted the bike on the cover of
Destination Universe.
Matthew Sweet - Baby Jesus
Plus twinkly guitar skronk from Robert Quine.
Mr. Garrison - Merry Fucking Christmas
Season's cretins!
Mojo Nixon - Christmas, Christmas
"Louie, Louie" gets the icicles-in-your-bush treatment . . . his Horny
Holidays is also highly
recommended.
Mojochronic - Yuletide Zeppelin
"Heirloom glockenspiel" is my new favorite instrument. "Over the Hills and Far Away in
a Manger" opens
the second version.
MXPX - Christmas Day
Meanwhile, on the Island of Misfit Toys . . .
No Doubt - Oi to the World
Skanta runs over the reindeer.
Pansy Division - Homo Christmas
Don we now our gay apparel.
Paul McCartney - Wonderful Christmas Time
Like most of his catalog, he's just so damned cheerful, you can't resist.
Paul Westerberg - Away in a Manger
"Take us to hell" salvages this weirdness beautifully.
Pennywise - Christmas in Hell
Self explanatory, if not self referential.
Pogues with Kirsty MacColl - Fairytale of New York
Shane gets drunk and nostalgic . . . what else is new?
Pretenders - 2000 Miles
Another lonely Christmas for Chrissie . . . hey, wait a sec, that would make a great song
title . . . hmmm . . .
Prince - Another Lonely Christmas
Everyone's favorite funk elf feels sorry for himself.
Queen - Thank God It's Christmas
Overwrought, but that's like calling Axl Rose an asshole. Also check out drummer Roger
Taylor's
"Magic Is Loose."
Ramones - Merry Christmas (I Don't Want to Fight Tonight)
I still miss Joey's Christmas shows with Ronnie Spector.
Rattles - Sam the Snowman
It's not always advisable to carry on conversations with one, though.
Rebel Pebbles - Cool Yule
Not the Louis Armstrong classic . . . more like Bangles wannabes ask Santa for
shoes (and
shoes)
(and shoes) (and shoes!)
Redd Kross - Super Sunny Christmas
As could be expected from a band from L.A.
Ride - Like a Snowflake
Noisypop Noël.
Ringo Starr - Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer
He's got the perfect commoner lilt for this cartoon classic.
Rocket from the Crypt - Cancel Christmas
And what would we do with all those poor pine trees?
Rolling Stones - Winter
Mick wraps his coat around her like Van Morrison in this underappreciated
gem from
their heroin phase.
Roy Wood and Wizzard - I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday
Cheerful bombast from the man wise enough to quit ELO.
Shoes - This Christmas
More synthpop than their usual guitar whirl, but definitely worth a twirl.
Shonen Knife - Space Christmas
Like everything they do, one suspects these Japanese girls have no
idea what they're
singing about.
Siouxsie and the Banshees - Il Est Né Le Divin Enfant
All those bloody bells are rather goth, aren't they?
Slade - Merry Xmas Everybody
Santa gets sleighed.
Soundtrack of Our Lives - Jingle Hell (Stuck in the Chimney)
Thrashing all the way.
Soul Coughing - Suzy Snowflake
A "ho ho" ho by any other name . . .
Southern Culture on the Skids - Merry Christmas, Baby
Stirring a few creatures in the swamp.
Spın̈al Tap - Christmas with the Devil
Santa = Satan spelled sideways.
Sonics - Don't Believe in Christmas
Because garages don't have chimneys.
St. Etienne - I Was Born on Christmas Day
Usually a bummer for anyone except the hippie dude with the sandals.
Stevie Wonder - The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire)
From the lamentably lame Motown Christmas collection, but he's certainly got the voice
to do Mel
Tormé proud.
Sugarcubes - Christmas Eve
Hey, it's always winter in Iceland.
Sun-60 - Mary Xmess
Maybe she could co-star in a Christmas porn feature with Suzy Snowflake.
Ted Nugent - Deck the Halls
Guitarzan goofiness from the occasionally inspired Axemas collection
of wanky carol
crucifictions.
Tim Minchin - White Wine in the Sun
We definitely needed a Tom Lehrer in the 21st century.
Tina Turner - Merry Christmas Baby
Feeling mighty fine in piano-pounding perfection.
Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers - Christmas All Over Again
I could use a new Rickenbacker myself.
Tori Amos - Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas
Thus commandeth the faerie queen, who extends her posture-collar caroling with Midwinter
Graces.
Ventures - Sleigh Ride
Their surf-infused Christmas covers are the perfect
instrumental soundtrack
for opening
presents.
Villancicos - White Christmas
But think of the traffic hassles.
Waitresses - Christmas Wrapping
Oh, damn, guess what I forgot...
Wall of Voodoo - Shouldn't Have Given Him a Gun for Christmas
Unless he promises to aim it at anyone who plays Xmas efforts by Billy Idol or Twisted Sister.
Weezer - The Christmas Song
Here's hoping someone gives Rivers a list of better song titles this year.
White Stripes - Candy Cane Children
Jack and Meg get literal.
Who - Christmas
Try the Live at Leeds or acoustic demo versions to avoid the annoying "la la
la" Whoville
background
voices.
X - Jingle Bells
No one better than John and Exene to put the ex back into Xmas.
XTC - Thanks for Christmas
The Mayor of Simpleton runs for office in the North Pole.
Yes - Run with the Fox
Chris Squire sings lead on a B-side that's more in keeping with their Buggles period than
"Roundabout."
Zebrahead - I Hate Christmas
Obviously, you don't, if you've read this far.
Best (rock) Christmas albums
Phil
Spector - A Christmas Gift For You
All those glockenspiel overdubs pay off with impeccable performances by
his stable of
stars (Ronettes,
Darlene Love, etc.).
The
Ventures' Christmas Album
All instrumentals. All guitar. All great. Surf music for the modern age that's
cool in every
sense of the word.
Beach
Boys - Christmas with the Beach Boys
An upgraded version of their Christmas Album from
1964.
The sources of many of the aforementioned songs, plus outstanding
original Christmas
ditties
by
your alternative favorites.
.
Mojo
Nixon and the Toadliquors - Horny Holidays
Funnier and dirtier than Bob Rivers, it starts with "Happy
Birthday" to Jesus and gets
better/worse
from there.
Links
For a ridiculously comprehensive catalog of every Christmas,
Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, winter
solstice and
related holiday rock and roll (plus blues, soul, rap, reggae, tropical and novelty)
album ever released,
be sure to visit Mistletunes.
If you're looking for Christmas music in other genres, stop by the
superb Christmas Reviews
database
(but hurry, because they continue to claim they're closing).
Want to play some of these tunes on your guitar? Scope out my Xmas tabs (scroll down to
the bottom).
Correspondence: drclueful (hat) hotmail (tot) com-all-yetc...
