"Wanting to please others is a noble sentiment at the root of
civility and an indispensible ingredient in happy relationships.
However, just as crucial for our happiness is the ability to establish
firm personal boundaries." --Dr. Forni
Activities:
- On a series of index cards, write passive pharses, assertive
phrases, and aggressive phrases--one phrase on each card. Post three
areas on the board or wall. Label them "Passive," "Assertive," and
"Aggressive". Distribute cards to your students. Ask students to
match their cards to the correct category on the wall. Discuss the
results. Does everyone agree with the arrangments? If not, consider
moving some phrases to different categories.
- Play Robots.
Divide students into groups of three. Group member should decide who
will be the robots, who will be the robot controller, and what the
robots' warning sound will be. Robots move forward in a straight line
until they bump into an obstacle (or another robot.) When this
happens, the robot should make its warning sound. When the robot
controller hears the warning sound of one of his robots, he should rush
to the robot, redirect him, and set him in motion again. After a few
minutes robots and controllers should switch. Switch again until
everyone has had a chance to the robot controller. Did you enjoy
playing the robot or the controller more? Why? What makes a good
robot? What makes a good robot controller? (Best New Games)
- Play
Car Car. Have students pair off. One person should stand behind the
other and place his hands on the front person's shoulders. The front
person will be the car. The back person will be the driver. The car
should close his eyes and move forward, while the driver should gently
guide the car around the room. After a few minutes cars and drivers
should trade roles. Which role did you like better--car or driver?
Why was it important for the driver to drive assertively and not
passively or aggressively? (Best New Games)
- Role
play some situations where a person might need to act assertively.
Carefully choose two students to play out the scenario. In addition to
the role players, choose two students to be "assert-o-meters". The
assert-o-meters should stand with their hands pressed together above
their heads, forming a human needle. One meter should be assigned to
each player. As the role play progresses, the assert-o-meters should
monitor the tone of their assigned players--from passive (leaning and
pointing to one side) to aggressive (leaning and pointing to the other
side.) The goal is to act out the situation in a way that keeps the
assert-o-meters reading "assertive" (pointing straight up.)
Discussion questions:
- According to Dr. Forni, what are the three elements of a successful assertion?
- What is the difference between being assertive and being agressive?
- How does this rule relate to the rule, Be Agreeable?
- How does this rule relate to "Respect even a subtle no?"
- How does asserting yourself help us to be more civil?
Books:
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