EUP FAIL

from various publications of the area. 

Smartest person.... or something else?

posted Oct 4, 2011 6:38 AM by Chet Kasper   [ updated Oct 4, 2011 6:45 AM ]

Sault Police were summoned to the 200 block of Rapids Drive where a woman complained that someone had been messing with her by placing a shoe horn under her couch.
The woman inferred that one of the neighbors was the likely culprit in this incident further adding they were messing with her because she is well-educated and the smartest person in the neighborhood.
There are no suspects in this unusual complaint.

Unrealistic Expectations

posted Sep 15, 2011 10:42 AM by Chet Kasper

Late on Tuesday city police visited a downtown watering hole where employees wanted a man to leave the building. The man told officers that he was entitled to free beer and that’s what he expected. Officers told him to leave and not return.
The man left the bar on foot, thus closing the case.

Neighborhood KGB watch

posted Aug 24, 2011 9:08 AM by Chet Kasper

City police were dispatched to the 1300 block of Bingham where a woman complained that children were playing in an apple tree.
Officers determined the woman did not own the property and there was no evidence that the children were being loud or causing damage.
Officers advised the youngsters not to throw apples or break branches before clearing the scene.

That's because *you* have their phone.

posted Aug 14, 2011 6:55 PM by Chet Kasper   [ updated Aug 24, 2011 9:26 AM ]

On Wednesday at 11:48 p.m. Sault Police received a cell phone found by residents in the 800 block of Ashmun. The residents tried to contact the owner but got no answer. Officers were not able to turn on the phone and placed it in the lost and found, to await pickup by its owner.

Man... kids these days...

posted Aug 14, 2011 6:32 PM by Chet Kasper

At 5:25 p.m. Wednesday, officers were sent to assist Soo Tribe Police with a domestic disturbance. Central Dispatch informed officers that a mother had called 911 because her son was “out of control.” Officers arrived and learned the mother and son had been drinking, and the son was 49 years old. The mother requested that the son leave the house, and officers stood by until the man complied.

Throwing stones in a glass house.

posted Aug 14, 2011 6:16 PM by Chet Kasper   [ updated Aug 14, 2011 6:51 PM ]

At 11 a.m. Monday, a Soo man came into the police department to check on the status of a complaint he had made, only to learn that he had two outstanding warrants against him. The man was arrested for Making a False Report/Threat of a Bomb or Harmful Device and Malicious Use of Telecommunication Services.

Woman with bridge for sale

posted Aug 14, 2011 6:08 PM by Chet Kasper   [ updated Aug 14, 2011 6:14 PM ]

At 2:10 p.m. Wednesday, a Sault woman came into the police department to report her prescription of Vicodin missing. According to the woman, she had the prescription filled on May 17th and placed the bottle of pills under the front seat of her vehicle. She told officers she forgot they were there until approximately 3 p.m. Tuesday and when she went to retrieve the bottle, it was missing. The woman said she has no idea when they may have been taken from her vehicle as she has been all over town in the past week and leaves her vehicle unlocked. She said she would need a report so she could get her prescription refilled. There are no suspects.

Big gap there, buddy!

posted Jul 13, 2011 6:36 AM by Chet Kasper

Man hospitalized
Sault Police were on routine patrol early this morning when they happened upon a man stumbling down W. Portage Avenue.
In speaking with the man, he expressed the belief that he was in Phoenix and could not recall how he came to be in Sault Ste. Marie. The man also had a number of bloody cuts on his arms, he explained, which came from falling while trying to navigate the city streets.
Sault Ambulance arrived on the scene and transported the highly-intoxicated man to War Memorial Hospital for medical treatment.

Sometimes you just feel like screaming

posted Jun 23, 2011 5:08 PM by Chet Kasper

Screaming woman
Sault Police were called to the 100 block of W. Easterday Avenue late Saturday on reports of a woman screaming in the parking lot.
In speaking with both parties it did not appear as though any assault had taken place.
The woman attributed her actions to the prescription drug Effexor saying she had stopped taking her medications earlier in the week.

Your emergency is what?

posted Jun 21, 2011 11:56 AM by Chet Kasper

911 hang-up
City police visited the 1800 block of Chestnut Sunday evening to investigate a 911 hang-up. The resident reported he had initially dialed 911 because there was a bat in his home, but apparently decided this did not warrant an emergency response and then hung-up on dispatchers.
In making a quick search of the premises police were unable to locate the animal before closing the books on this matter.

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