Friday, August 10, 2007

School is coming up quick, and by Monday, we will be reimmersed in a world that is far from ideal, and with many people who are far from competent.  My books aren't finished.  My supplies aren't ready.  My summer isn't over yet.  There is still time.  Something that usually passes too quickly and is usually in high demand.  Oh, I wish I had more of it.  Just a bit more.  Just something that happened two days ago, I got in a little car wreck.  Nothing to fret over, but I realized that driving is dangerous shit, and even if one is careful, mistakes can still occur, and accidents can happen; just be safe and be as careful as possible.  I updated a bit, fixing a few typo's and including a section on my roommate.  Please, use the chatbox at your will and tell me what you think, or if you want me to add something.  Don't worry, I won't think you're rude.

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

For all that it's worth, I'll try to explain to you what I did this summer, since I haven't had time to write down the happenings of the best six weeks of my life.  I really discovered the world over this break before my Junior year.  Before you go reading this, be aware that it's long.  You'd really have to care about me to read it.  Like, a lot.  So do what you can, if you so desire.  It will be here when you get back.

During my six weeks at GHP (Governor's Honors Program), I realized how intelligent and sociable people can really be.  I spent the first 16 years and six months of my life never feeling truly at home.  I just spent all of my time playing hockey, temporarily forgetting the pain and igorance that I put up with daily.  When kind, bright people are put together, to live, to sleep, to eat, and to learn together, a certain bond is formed, which is stronger than any bond that could ever be made.  Six weeks seems like a short time in comparison to a school year, and even so in comparison to the lifetime of a high school student, but when spent with such extraordinary people, minutes become hours, weeks become months, and the program became a new life.  A fresh start.

Meeting people for the first time is a new thing, especially when there are 699 others, all of which you greet by saying, "Hey, I'm Charles.  What's your major?"  And with which a reply of, "Oh, hey Charles, I'm so-and-so, and I'm a blank major."  Everyone smiled and looked at one another with such warm eyes, and all the while unpacking, turning in information, and going to the assembly. Sometime before dinner began, I met Abigail Grace, who was talking to Michael Jarrett about drumming.  She was quite the character, and had some sweet shades, so I remembered her.  After more introductions, wandering around, and a first glance into our Majors, it was time for the night time Hall Check.  Though it sounded a bit restrictive, sending us back to dorms at 10:30, confining us there until 11:30, when a lights-out was called, the time in the Halls after Hall Check was where some of the best friendships, jokes, and games of cards were played.  I still don't exactly remember how I met Jim, but I'm glad I did.

That night, Muneeb, my roommate for the duration of GHP, and I just talked about what home was like.  He was a bit wary of the whole idea of being away from home, and in the days that approached, he would have some of his friends go home.  It was a tough time for him, since he could have been visiting his family back in the homeland, but he came to this instead.  I wasn't at all worried, since I had already fallen in love with the program.  And plus, I found out that they had a frozen yogurt machine, and we all know that I loved that machine dearly.  Anyways, Muneeb came to love being on the VSU campus after getting settled in, and some nights, we would just talk about what we did that day, and about home, school, and the future.

The first days of the program were amazing days, spent lounging in Majors and choosing courses.  This is where I really met Abigail, Ben, Jin, and Virgille.  We sat together and joked about stupid things, and soon, when it was time for class choices, we had grouped together.  Abigail came up with a nice plan to rig the point scale class selection system, and we all got into the classes we picked.  At the time, I had a little thing for Abigail, since she was just the most fun to talk to and be around.  After orientations, we spent our time looking through the seminar lists, and together, we went off, and for the first two days, Jin, Abigail, and I were great friends, going everywhere together.  But then, the next day, something happened; Abigail was missing home.  She grew apart, though not instantly, but through the week, our trio broke down, and for a while, I felt lonely, like something inside had just died.  I was a bit heartbroken, as well, since I had felt so connected once, and now it was gone.  But I didn't fret, because sometime during the next few days, Jim and I started to talk a lot, and we formed a new clique, along with Huy and Aditya.  Jim had found a nice girl, Sara Jane, for whom he felt a great pleasure... in his pants.  Kidding of course, but he was attracted to her, and they had talked, but there was one beast of a guy, John Henry, who had supposedly taken her heart away.  Huy was Jim's roommate, so he was already in on the story, and Aditya, well, he just likes to hear gossip.  We commiserated, and sympathized, thinking up elaborate plans to obtain what we so desired.  On the way to the library one day, we saw Sara Jane walking with some of her dance major friends, and we stopped to talk to her.  The first thing I remember about meeting her was that the metal chain that hung our I.D. tags around our necks were irritating Sara Jane's skin, so there were some bumps on her neck.  I said, "Eww, sick," jokingly, of course, and she replied, "Oh, thanks, Charles.  Thanks."  That was how we met, and I don't think I'd have it any other way, Since she knows me for who I am, and how I like to be, demonstrating the true joy in being at the program, in which everyone can enjoy the company of others.

Facebook was all the rage at GHP, and soon, friend requests started pouring in, and conversations were made through facebook and across the table.  Jim didn't have one at the time, so we made him one, and of course, he got into it, too.  Huy was the principle photographer throughout GHP, and his picture count tops out anyone there, and could arguably cover more than any given two people's photos combined.  Everyday, we'd check his new uploaded pictures, and smile at the utter awkwardness of some.

I put my guitar out in the hall during the first week, and started playing a bit.  One night, after a dance, I went outside with it Jim, and we played sad songs, since we were both so conflicted.  It was then that I discovered my voice, and I sang songs out at the top of my lungs for the world to hear.  I sang about people walking by, and Ben's favorite, which he later told me, was the one in which the chorus was, "I'm so gay!"  A crowd gathered, and I couldn't believe it, but I was singing and entertaining people, like I had hoped to do with the guitar.  This is part of my self discovery, but I would never have sung or knew I could sing, had I not tried, and taken a chance.  Jim was there with me, and I really did need support to continue on.  I couldn't believe my own ears, but I was really singing.  Up in the dorm on afternoon, we were just sitting, and Johnny Strength and James Kang came along.  James is a great guitarist, and Johnny plays the bass, so we just passed the guitar around and played a bit.  James gave me a few pointers, and from then on, I played every day out on the steps or on the lawn.  Soon, even for Jim and Sara Jane.

As Jim and Sara Jane's story began to unfold, classes were in full swing, and projects came around.  As a math major, our first was a research project on mathematics subjects.  I had no idea what I was talking about, and after bullshitting my way through, spending nights working, I was finally satisfied, and stopped, content.  My time was spent working on this, while others were out and about, roaming.  I finished, without too much time wasted, and continued through the weeks, laughing and living through seminars, and even started playing soccer, since Jim, Huy, and Aditya all did.  The second project rolled around, and I was flipped upside down.  Jin and I had partnered up, choosing a topic on the group theory in perfect shuffles of cards.  The topic seemed interesting, and though Peter had told us to reconsider, we talked to Jeff, and he said it was feasible.  The work became increasingly difficult, and after presenting, our project was an utter failure, and we were told to redo it.  I felt so much hatred at that moment towards Jeff that I could fill that campus with it, but the long weekend was coming up, and it was time to go home.  My hatred diminished slowly, as I realized that our project really was pretty bad, so we decided to each take our part home to work, and with the help of my math tutor, Dr. Hong, I figured it out.  Jin was still on the Valdosta campus, having not taken his weekend at the time.

I had missed a lot while I was gone, but I was glad to go home for a bit.  I went with Abraham on the way back, and as we got home, we knew we would be going back soon.  I was in need of supplies, and a thorough washing of my clothes.  For a while, I went shopping, and then I got back in contact with some friends.  Daniele and I had been planning to go out for some ice cream at Bruster's, and that's just what we did on Saturday.  Cookie Dough Blast.  I will never forget that.  We just talked, and I felt like I was a new person.  I was so much more confident when I talked, and there was so much to talk about.  It was hot outside, but we sat and conversed, and really, I had a great time.  I'm glad I came home for the long weekend.  Thank you, Daniele.  Along with that, I hung out with Kevin and Sean one night, and we had a good time going out, doing stupid stuff.  I played hockey, too, for the first time in a while, and hung out a bit with Michael.  Saturday night, I couldn't resist but to call Jim and Huy, since I already missed them.  They were having good times back home, but we all agreed that we tried to make our jokes from the clique, and were greeted with odd looks from friends back home.  It was time to go back.  On the way back to campus, I was receiving calls from Bellen, Huy, Jim, and Malin.  I had met Bellen and Tony during the first three weeks in the library when I heard them speaking Chinese.  Ryan was there, as well, with his girl Feifei.  We talked and said some vulgarities of the Chinese language, and soon, we had bonded together like brothers.  This was my Chinese family outside of home, and although they were mainlanders, and I Taiwanese, our differences do not matter here.  Malin was a special one, who I had first met in a game of Musical Chairs.  There was a lack of space, and she ended up sitting on my leg, which, at the time, was quite arousing.  We met randomly afterwards, and became close.  Close enough to play the "Nervous Game."  Jim had temporarily given up on Sara Jane and gone for Malin on the third and fourth weeks, but that was short lived, as Sara Jane did indeed have a thing for Jim as well, and when Malin left for her long weekend, they got together, and were set for the rest of GHP.  Shifting back to my return, I moved my stuff back in, with the help of my brothers, my sisters, and my clique, and we were situated again.  It was a Sunday night, and we went out for a game of soccer in the rain.  A storm came that night, a dark one, and we were all sent back to dorms early.  I had an abundance of food, and we dug into it immediately.

Coming back, we worked, and worked.  I had almost grown apart from Jim and our clique for the week, but we kept in touch, and after finally finishing our re-presentation, it was over, and I was free.  Jin and I were relieved beyond belief, and he went off to his girl Gina, as I returned back to my clique.  Finally, I was free.

Our final project approached, and Bellen and I decided to team up.  Our project was based on a simple chess based game, called Hexapawn, and variations up to a game called Dawson's Chess.  We worked on this one for long durations of time as well, and though I was working, I was finding time to fit in my clique, and I felt healthy in my work.  We put a lot of work and practice into playing time game and recording results, and in the last two weeks, I had become infinitely closer to all of my groups.  The Asian brotherhood was in full effect, and we had ramen at night, and played cards all the time.  My memory is all a blur, and I would try to remember each day, but that's not at all possible, as it is past two in the morning, and I'm determined to finish.  Our presentation was a success, and we were alotted a time slot in the large presentation room at the Math Fair.  Dr. Searle attended, and I was relieved when he smiled at the end, shook my hand, and said that we had done a great job.  Bellen and I skipped back to his room, and we just enjoyed our freedom.  Earlier on, Bellen had lost his roommate, Zeke, so he was solitary in his room.  He seldom spent time there, unless we all went with him.

Jim and Sara Jane were a real couple now, and we all went with Huy to play tennis.  A few times, we played, and though I had hurt my wrist in a previous conflict with Anik, I managed with my left hand.  I really just loved life at the moment, and would not have it any other way.  I felt like the big brother, or uncle in the family, and though I didn't formally have a girl of my own, I did marry Malin in the library.  Twice.

The lives unfolded as the last week approached and everything was set for an ending.  Thursday night was concluded with the Dance Recital, in which I saw one of the most amazing dance performances in my life, and finally learned to appreciate those who can dance.  I had not mentioned some people earlier, but Samantha Udinsky and Ryan Cangelosi were in the performance.  Samantha is Sara Jane's cousin, and we had met earlier in the second or third week.  We become closer near the fourth and towards the end, when our cliques merged.  Ryan had always been a great guy, but during the first week, he was a resident "cockblocker," as during my infatuation with Abigail, he had her attention.  He was a theatre major and dance minor, and we really got to know each other through the ping pong table, when he found humor in my rendition of Michael Jarrett's, "Aww shit!" and "Tits!"  From then on, we became close, and after the dance performance, I was just awed by his talent, and we had a big hug.  We promised to see each other again, and to hang out later that night.  The end was nearing.

 I could not believe it.  Classes were concluded.  After minors, we were sent back to rooms to pack, and afterwards, we went to the second Prism Concert, Prism II.  Waiting in line, we came across a pissed off dad, and all the while waiting, we poked fun at him from afar.  He said to us, "Hey, if you're looking for the back of the line, it's over there," and pointing arrogantly and smugly, he thought that he had bested us.  We showed him up by getting to the front of the line, and yelling crude immitations back at him.  Finally the doors opened, and we were going to get in before him, but in an outrage, he shoved old people and students alike out of his way.  We didn't let this bother us, and we just laughed.  Prism I, the first concert, was an amazing performance by the whole music department, and Prism II was an inspiring, delicate, entertaining, and intense blend of music.  The percussionists never cease to grab my attention with their creative works.  I heard Kat Glazer sing with a quartet of saxophones, and her voice was really something to remember.  Finally, as the show concluded, we heard a final piece, the mosaic of the program's performances.  The band played, the orchestra and the jazz group, but finally, the vocalists sang their song, "Everything I Own."  I was fighting back tears.

"I would give everything I own, give up my life, my heart, my hope..."

I couldn't take it any longer.  Tears came from across the auditorium, and sniffs could be heard, at at the end, I was just a wreck.  Jim and Sara Jane had also begun to cry, and we all just grabbed each other like there was no tomorrow, and cried into each others' shoulders.  It was almost over.  Only a few more hours.

The math majors concluded with a ball drop, as the GHP Math New Year came about.  Our time was over, and we all said goodbye, goodluck, and our farewells, as we sang Christmas songs in the middle of the campus.  We went to the final salutation, and heard speeches from Zakiya and two others, one Ex. Man. major and one Ag. Sci. major.  All were deep and thoughtful, but finally it came to Dr. Searle.  He gave the deepest of all, and through our chests he went, down to our hearts, which beat as one.  He mentioned that he had shaken the hand of a future mathematician whom he had met at the math fair after a presentation, and I knew he was talking about me.  I was overjoyed and proud, and just smiled.  Finally, Dr. Searle concluded, and surprised us.  He brought out the Vocalists, who performed their song one last time.  If anyone had not cried the night before, they did then.  The room seemed to be filled with sobs through to the end, and everyone just broke down.  But we were not ashamed anymore.  These tears were real, not of pain, or hardship, but of a sadness of leaving those that we had learned to hold dearest to our hearts.  We loved each other.  All 700 of us, as one, great family.  It's been nearly three weeks since the last day, and I can't imagine what has happened since then.  I've wasted my time away.  Each day at home is spent staying up late at night and waking up late, then wasting away my day.  I can't stand this lack of motion and love.  Our harmony was ended, and the symphony of souls, disbanded.  We are forever changed, and forever, we will remember.

I've written notes before, but not like this.  This is my life story.  My life at GHP.  I know I forgot to mention in detail so many things, but I will list them below, as I can't write anymore.  It's now nearly three in the morning.

Shou Ying baby yeah!
Getting Internet in the dorm
Ping-pong
Jason and Brittany
Morgan and Michael
Ryan and Samantha
Playing guitar
Trent and Abigail
Monica (Veronica), my amazing math major friend and dancer
Running in the morning
Workout room
Infidel Bastard
Ekene!
Jin's hair is the shit
Alvin's ears are... yeah.
laundry
Counterstrike
Halo Lan
Everett
Paul
Math Tournament (Twelve is Love!)
Dances
Malin, I had an amazing time with you, and I'll always remember you.
Nitfish's crazy ping pong skills
Prawn
Tony, my big brother.
Ryan Reid, that goober.
Brian Levy, Bobby Cox
HALLCHECK BALLSACK!
The rooms
The Fountain of Youth
Hide and Seek
Assassins
West Lawn
Soccer
Kait Cook loves "Goat Porn"
Bellen and Ryan, my bros.
Aditya, you horny Indian.
Dolly...
Blake...
George Bowman, beast extraordinaire
Tyler Wright, Saluditorian, body builder, rubik's cube master.
Bananas with Michelle and Tony
Frozen Yogurt.
Ahem Kristy...
Guitar in math room 257.
Guitar with Alex Lockwood, the best at GHP, on the last day before leaving.
Rubik's Cube