The saga of the brain cloud continues. I'm on a pill for my PMS. But the doc didn't call it the name of the pill they prescribe for the PMS. She called it by the name they prescribe it as an anti-depressant. So, that caused me stress. And it caused me anxiety. And it caused me to not want to take it. Even though my PMS is horrid and makes me lay in the floor and cry for hours and convince myself that nobody loves and nobody cares and I should just go eat worms and blah blah blah PMS sucks unless you're eating a brownie. And for those two minutes? Life is grand. Then the brownie is gone and then you got something else to cry about. Yeah. So, on top of my PMS and the brain cloud I've been dealing with this bottle of pills and researching and reading and being a pain in the ass and offending people left and right. All because I have the mind set that while it's all well and good for you to take these things and consider yourself fine....well....I can't do that. If I'm to take this, it's like I'm admitting that I'm not OK. That I need help. That I'm....well....less than perfect. My therapist yelled at me for that. Told me I need to work on not thinking I'm better than anyone else. That I'm... oh god.... A HUMAN BEING!!! Shit. So there you go. I'm a human that is fine but I just need some help. Because that PMS business is dumb. And really? She gave me the generic version so I can tell people or not tell people whatever the heck I want. So, there's some story about me. Also, I've not been going to the gym very much for the dizzies are making the treadmill not so much fun and I'm afraid of the stairmaster in this condition and I'm not enjoying this much. I get blood work in a few weeks. There's reasons for it being in a few weeks. So, all of this rambling is to explain why this is in the 52 Weeks of Feeling Fit group. It goes there. It makes sense for me to put this there. And that's the criteria. This is my weekly shot for this represents my feeling fit for this week. Now...where's the brownies?

pushups. pushups,pushup,pushups. somewhere back months ago,100 pushups sounded like a pretty big deal. all at one shot,yes. BUT, by doing 25 when i get up in the morning and then taking a minute and a half every now and then thruought my day, i have been able to easily grab 350 per day for the last couple weeks. its a simple theory. pictures uploading? pushups. protein shake blending? pushups. any kind of downtime, even if simply for 3 minutes,i can bang out 20-30, and add it to the total for the day. i alternate my reach and hand position just to keep things interesting and this has really made a difference in my arm strength and tone. running 2.1 miles on a treadmill 2-3 times a week, (with pushups before and after;) and before long i think im gonna graduate to running in a nearby park. its just too nice out right now to stay inside. maybe even throw in some parkour i have been studying, and wanting to get into. i have been sleeping like a rock the last couple weeks, and i am down to 204 lbs.