Empty thoughts fill my mind.

Clouding my reality.
The inspiration of others stand in line pushing me back.
In a trance I serve them, not able to shake them, to wake up.
Expression gets smothered, starts burning inside.
Does it ever end? My desire of expression.
These words, thoughts that want to express and show the world their meaning.
Will they be accepted? Do they desire approval?
Who will let me get in line first?
To selfishly entrace them for a moment in time.

I am the forgotten one.

Unable to be substanced for a normal life.
Born geographically unfortunate.
Left behind, aside, and invisible to the world.
Substance always available somewhere.
Ears go deaf from my cries of hunger.
You've seen my unchanging face.
I won't be here for long.
Forgiveness only is what I give.
Understanding I try, its geography not lack.
The playground of the nations must have overlooked my suffering.
Logic, reason and justification knock at the door.
The face of another answers.

Emptiness is what's being sold

I'm not buying.
Promises of accumulation for the sacrificing of expression.
Mindless abilities become desired and sought after.
Demanding a price from the graveyard of common thought.
Imitators are highly rewarded at the price of loosing their sense of self.

Closer I am drawn
Connections are routing themselves in my mind.
Questions proposed.
Actions contemplated.
Heartbeat intensifies.
Passionate moments in time begin.
Time hypnotically, mysteriously accelerates and gets lost.
Movements become synchronized.
Heated air surrounds me.
Drops of water accumulate and follow gravity.
Sensitivity intensifies, time stands still.
Claws come out, finding a favorite spot.
Horizons of events show themselves.
The face of love reveals its heat and shines brightly against me.

Demands of love, negotiated

If you love me, you will act a certain way.

If you love me, I will let you have your way.

If you love me, I will have nice things to play.

If you love me, you will do as I say.

If you love me, you will loose your self.

If you love me, your expression will "note to self".

If you love me, you will not look the other way.

If you love me, my defects disappear.

If you love me, your defects become known.

If you love me, your selfishness comes after my own.

Stepping Stones of Necessary Effort
Feasible dreams command my thoughts
taking away the sting of my labor.
"Tomorrow will be better" those who
market self tell me to say.
I try to believe.
Blinded by the grass on my neighbors
lawn I keep striving in the dark.
Effortless denial of companionship,
of community, of those close to me
become my repetwa.
Lost to those who should know me best.
Only to be expendable once I have
built the inspirations of others.

Potential future loss
Importance Imagined.
The hypothetical feeds your paranoia.
Expectations somehow distorted.
Now, Self becomes more important.
Deserving entitlements tickle to maintain your efforts.
Quietly, slowly self becomes inflated by the potential reality.
The now becomes less important.
More disruptive, a hindrance to constructing your future.