"Trains are for meditation, for playing out long thought-processes, over and over; we trust them, perhaps because they have no choice but to go where they are going. Nowadays, however, they smack of a dying gentility. To travel by car makes journeys less mysterious, too much a matter of the will. One might as easily sit on a sofa and imagine a passing landscape. I doubt whether any truly absorbing conversation ever took place in a car; they are good only for word games and long, tedious narratives. We have come to regard cars too much as appendages of our bodies and will probably pay for it in the end by losing the use of our legs. We owe to them the cluttering of the landscape, the breakup of villages and towns. - Alastair Reid "Rail travel at high speeds is not possible because passengers, unable to breathe, would die of asphyxia." -- Dionysius Lardner (1842 - 1914) I couldn't decide which quote to go with so I put both. The second one is just funny. Today I did the most idiotic of things. I know it was retarded, but I can not help it. I am much happier now that I have done it. I quit my job at American General. I couldn't handle doing Collections, especially at Christmas time. I had a complete freak out right afterwards, which is expected I guess you could say. I did calm down though after I realized that it was something I really just had to do. After the meltdown I went back to the school library where I worked before AGF and they had an opening for a work-study again so thankfully I am not unemployed. I start the work-study again tomorrow which is exciting. The only reason I took the AGF job was for the money. Shallow I know. In the last year I have learned that if I work a job I am not completely satisfied with I am miserable. Most of the time I tough it out. Hell I toughed out quite a bit at Hallmark. I just couldn't handle Collections. There were too many factors against me. I realize that most of all it was my attitude. I started out being alright with it, then it turned to disgust and hate. I decided that if I was going to hate the job before I completely started it I couldn't do it. I know myself, I know my attitude, it wasn't working out, it wasn't going to work out. I do not regret the decision, not by a long shot. In my soul searching recently I discovered that the only reason I was really still with the company...well okay 2 reasons, 1. it is a really good company to work for, I realize that and know it. 2. damn it payed well. I am not so idiotic to think that the way I finished wasn't immature because hell it was. If I were to do it over would I change anything? I really don't know. I think that if I could, I would have told them that I couldn't do it from the get go. I did the training because I thought maybe it wouldn't be as bad as I was thinking it would be. Unfortunately I wasted their time and I realize that. I understand the consequences I will be suffering in years to come when I try to get my career job. I realize that if AGF gets called for a reference I just bit myself in the ass. I know that, I accept it. When I told my mom, she told me that she was disappointed in me, yet proud. She said that it was the immature way to do it, but I was wise beyond my years to do it. Now you probably think that all this is coming from when I talked to my mom about it. I was the one telling her all this stuff. I told her I realized and accepted all the crap that I just did. In the end happiness is never going to be about money. I really have always know that. Sometimes though it is hard not to think "oh if I just got paid a little more I'd be happier". I know everyone goes through that at least one point in their lives, heck probably every day. Ahhh...and I am totally not even close to fishing for sympathy. I am just typing out loud my thoughts/feelings/blahblahblah on the situation. I don't need/deserve sympathy. This isn't a pity party. This is a working it all out in my head. I know and realize the consequences. I'm irritated at myself that I couldn't handle it. I thought I could take anything dished at me for a job. Hell I took so much shit at Hallmark, I am completely willing to go back to Hallmark though. I am immensely grateful that I got the library back though. Gratitude number 14: I think it is obvious by now...I'm extremely grateful that I can go back to the library so I am not unemployed. So after all the job drama I decided to go out to the river front to take pictures....DAMN it was colder than anticipated! I love trains and decided to go to the little train museum thingy that we have next to the Evansville Museum. I went inside a couple of the train cars that they have on display and really enjoyed it. I was the only one in there and had my remote. I kept hoppin from seat to seat. There was one box car that if I had realized the potential of it when I was there I would have gotten a really good one of it, but I couldn't tell on the screen

It has been 38 days since I first laid eyes on her. I drove down to Somwar Peth (yes that's a place in Pune) to meet her, nervous all the way, sweaty palms sliding over the old steering wheel, a check on my deo every once in a while. The person who'd set up our meeting said she was eager to see me too, she had just had her shower and was looking her prettiest with a slight wetlook. As I turned into the lane, I saw her...it could only be her. Jetblack metal, gleaming alloys, red callipers and the swagger of someone who owns the road. She headed off into the distance to my dismay while I parked my steady love for 8 years - the Alpine blue Indica you see in the background in the shot. One last shot of deo before I got down to meet her. My first date with my future partner. *My* Labrador Black Cedia Sports. The owner told me his son (Mr. H) was just taking her for a spin and it would be mine to have fun with in just a short while. I was offered chai-coffee which I promtly declined - all I wanted was her. She returned from the spin, and I saw her face for the first time. Her striking sharp features will take your breath away every time you look at her. The smoked reflectors look more purposeful than any projectors on the highest end cars, the bumper looks ready to take on the world, the ridge along the centre of the bonnet lends character and the triangular grill with the triple diamond on top finishes off the boldest statement on the sportiest sedan this side of the Evo X - atleast in India. The razor-sharp front flows onto the sides which, though flat, are set off wonderfully by the curvy roofline and the aggressive side-skirts. Your eyes are then pulled towards one of the sexiest rears in the business, the stunning tapering clear tail-lamps set in a bootlid which curves upwards towards the subtle spoiler. She is sexy and understated at the same time. And you know she can be garish and loud if she wants to be (Fast and the Furios anyone?). She, then, is truly a girl for every occassion. On the outside atleast. It was then time for me to get intimate with her, experience how she behaves when ridden, properly. Mr.H handed me the keys and I promptly took position in the driver's seat. Everything just fell into place, my left hand automatically rested on her smooth leather clad gear-shift while my right caressed the curves on her steering wheel. I slipped the key into her ignition and with just one short twist, she was turned on. No drama, no ungainly cranks, just a smooth idle just begging to be taken onto the open road. We drove out of the busy city centre and found some back roads to really unleash her wild side. A few quick turns later, I was facing the horizon with no traffic and nothing to disturb us. This was no time for smooth foreplay, I stomped her accelerator and she reared into life, first gear was disposed off at 40kmph, and 80kmph disappeared in 2nd gear, she was sounding orgasmic at this point. The cry of all her 2-liters, 4 valves and 16 cylinders had reached a goose-bumping crescendo. I saw the needle climbing up towards 5k rpms in 3rd gear while we were far past the ton but then I could also see the unwelcome rear ends of her poorer cousins get nearer. Such is city life, only one short burst of euphoria at a time. Each climactic moment lasting not more than 3-4 mins before the brakes are called upon. And what brakes these are. I spared no mercy when I stomped down hard on the pedal, all four discs, ABS and EBD sprung into life to make everything seem so mundane. Coming down to 20kmph from 120+ was undramatic and almost akin to being thrown back to reality. Back in the real world, I threw her into 3rd gear at 30kmph to see how she'd cope with the vagaries of traffic. This lass had it all, not only did she surprise me with all her torque ensuring minimal gearshifts (40kmph in topgear is a breeze!) but she also totally caught me off the rocker with her ridiculously low turning radius (4.9m); not only was she raw and savage but also quite nimble! After what seemed like a roller-coaster ride of an hour, I grudgingly parked her beside my Alpine blue baby. It was time to reflect on this beauty in my hands. As I looked out the panoramic windscreen, my eyes were drawn to the carbon-fibre dash and the many small touches of titanium in the dash. Each little bit not distracting from the overall experience of what this car was - pure driving pleasure. I was reminded of the ad campaign for her - No Parking; how true! I got into my Indica, started her and drove away. Knowing very well that I'd met the love of my life. We were meant to be. She was mine. 41 days later, she is going to be mine. On Thursday, July 16th this beauty will come home with me. To spend the most of the rest of our lives together. The Mitsubishi Cedia Sports. My first car. Soon. :) Waiting, Joseph Statutory Warning: Car enthusiasts will not appreciate the superlatives used in the above paragraph. But as an enthusiast, you'll re