Chapter Fifteen

1x15 - Dead Woman Walking

Disclaimer: Neither the CSI: Miami Universe nor any of the Characters in the CSI: Miami Universe belongs to me. No profit is made from this story on my part. No copyright infringement is intended.

"It lasts for five days." As the sand begins running through the glass, he understands what she hasn't said: Longer than I will.

Working with a living murder victim is so much harder then he anticipated. When the victim is already dead, there are things that he can do to make a difference: he can bring closure to their family and justice to their killer. And he knows that their suffering has ended, that they are at peace, beyond the cruelty of the world.

But with Belle, anything he does for her will be a hollow victory and ultimately meaningless. She still suffers, she will still die, and there is nothing that he can do to prevent it. Nothing. It's worse because she knows that death is coming - she has time to fear it, to struggle futilely against it. Most murder victims don't have that chance, don't experience that torture, and he can only be grateful for it now. The fear and horror that she experienced when he told her is not something that he would wish on anyone.

Still, he can't help but admire her: even through her fear, she faces her death with a dignity that he would never be able to manage, were he in her shoes.

When he finally apprehends her killer, he calls her immediately to share the news. He feels the passage of time more acutely then ever, now. There is simply no telling how much longer she has - every second that passes could be her last.

Even over the phone, he can tell that the end is near; she sounds so tired, as if every word is a struggle.

"He killed me because he loved me?!" Horatio understands her confusion. It's hard to comprehend how something as wonderful as Love can also be so dark and twisted.

"He killed you because he's a selfish, narcissistic, amoral man who can't feel compassion for anyone but himself." Neither of them acknowledge their use of the past tense. It's a little jarring, telling a murder victim the circumstances of her own death, but at least it's something.

"Can I ask a favor?"

"Anything. Whatever you need, Belle. Whatever you need."

"Would you come over, please? I need to talk to you, and I'd rather do it in person." Her voice is fading again as her failing body betrays her.

"I'll be right there. You hang on, Belle, you hear me? Wait for me, I'm on my way."

"I'll wait."

Sitting by her bed, watching her lose her fight against death, he wants to cry and scream at the injustice of it all. She had been so young, so fierce and determined and full of life. At least he has brought her some peace, with his promise to carry on her last case. And he will. To honor her life, he will do whatever is necessary to continue her legacy. Risher Pharmaceuticals is already dead, they just don't know it yet. It's fitting, he thinks, that they are now among the walking dead.

He stays with her until the end, as she requested. She hadn't wanted her mother and sister to see her like that, but she hadn't wanted to be alone, either. Horatio knows better then anyone that death is not a dignified process, so it makes sense to ask him to stay, he supposes. It's the least he can do for her, and still not nearly enough to ease his overwhelming sense of failure.

When it's finally over, he indulges himself for just a moment, letting a few tears fall now that there is no one to witness them. For just a moment, he allows himself be nothing more than a man, grieving for the loss of a loved one. Just for a moment.

Eventually, composing himself, he gently arranges her body into a more peaceful pose and then goes in search of the private nurse. No need for her family to see her like that.

With no question about her cause of death, no autopsy will be required, but the coroner still needs to be called to pronounce her official time of death. And, of course, her family needs to be notified and arrangements need to be made.

Walking out of the house nearly an hour later, he notices that the sand is still flowing relentlessly through the hourglass. For one irrational moment, he wants nothing more than to knock it to the floor and watch as it shatters into a pile of sand and broken glass.

It lasts for five days.

Five days.

Author's note: There's so much going on in this episode that it took me two days to write this piece. At first, I was going to do a light-hearted homage to a certain Radiation Management tech, since the actor who played him also appeared as a main character in another fandom of mine, Firefly. But it just refused to happen. Horatio and Belle were incredibly stubborn, refusing to shut up until I wrote about them. So I ended up writing something incredibly poignant and depressing instead. Sorry. But I hope you enjoy it anyway.