Setiap kali melihat penampilan sendiri didalam cermin sungguh diri ini terasa menjengkelkan. Langsung tak menarik dan mengiurkan, hahaha... Since I have Rafiqh, my appearance has changed a lot! Should I blame Rafiqh? Muahahaha... I'm not talking about my body okey! Yes, it has changed too, but I just need time to "fix" it back. My problem now is my fashion style! I'm not kinda up to date person in fashion, hence I don't know or even care much about branded thingy, latest design, yada2. All this while, I just love to be myself, not trying to imitate or to be anyone else. I have my own guidelines on how to dress up, meant I have my own fashion... But now, sedihnya melihat diri sendiri... Ke mana menghilang keterujaanku untuk melawa??? Baru2 ni I asked myLove, "Selebetkah isterimu ini?", dari jawapannya somehow I rasa dia mengakuinya, huwaaaa... Tidak tidak! I have more than 20 handbags, but currently I always use the one in picture above. Dulu2, that bag I only used when I went to nearby supermarket alone! Actually sekarang ni most of the times, bila keluar shopping atau ke mana2, I tak bawa handbag pun! Sebabnya keluar sekejap jer, dalam sejam gitu, tak ada keperluan nak bawa apa2. Tambahan pula, yang membayarnya ialah myLove, hehehe. Kadang2 tu purse pun I tak bawa, hahaha... Barang Rafiqh? Nak bawa apa??? Bag Rafiqh yang diisi diapers, baju, napkin, blanket bla bla tu memang I dah sediakan dan simpan dalam kereta. So tak perlu setiap kali nak keluar baru terhegeh2 nak packing. Haa itu pasal laa I melenggang kangkung jer! Kasut juga I ada lebih dari 20 pasang. Tapi 2 ketul ni jugak laa yang sedap disarung dek kakiku. Kadang2 I pakai juga high heels yang tak berapa high laa kan, maunya terpelecot karang dengan bawa Rafiqh ni, naik turun rumah 5 tingkat pulak! Tapi myLove laa, dia suka "tegur" bila I pakai high heels, takut I jatuhkan anak dia kot, hihi... Potong mood betul! Tapi I nekad, lepas Rafiqh dah boleh jalan sendiri nanti, I akan kembali pakai heels, wohohoho... Pakaian pulak... Setiap kali nak pilih baju, I mesti fikirkan "kesenangan" nak breastfeed. I mesti pertimbangkan apakah baju tu nanti memudahkan I untuk breastfeed atau tak. Itu pasal laa banyak baju2 yang terperuk tak dipakai! Tudung/hijab... Perghh kalau tengok koleksi hijab I, ada laa 50 helai! Tauke tudung laa katakan, hahaha... Kalau dulu, sekali iron 10 helai, bersepah2 disangkut. Setiap hari bertukar2, penuh tersusun. Tapi sekarang, ikut dan (read: sempat) jer sarung! Alasannya tak ada masa nak iron! I iron baju seminggu sekali jer, tu pun waktu malam lepas Rafiqh tidur. Kalau dulu sebelum keluar, sempat lagi nak iron, sekarang tak dah. Kalut aih dengan Rafiqh, buatnya dia pegang seterika panas, sampai mati menyesal tak sudah! Accesories... gelang, jam, ring, brooch, semuanya berpuluh2, tapi pakainya dah jarang dah! Hish... Make up... Dulu setiap hari ke kampus, sama ada study atau kerja, mesti laa make up. Sekarang jarang2 keluar rumah, jarang2 laa make up. Eh dulu duk rumah pun I make up, setakat pakai foundation cream, compact powder, lip balm, celak, blusher dan perfume tu biasa laa... Sekarang, hehehe payah benor! Perfume jer laa... Nak bersiap dalam rumah sekarang macam tak ada mood sangat. Apa tak nya, ikat rambut lawa2 kemas2, ada laa yang datang tarik2, nak make up karang ada laa yang kacau, hmmm. So bila myLove tak ada kat rumah, I memang selekeh sikit laa, bila customers datang baru nak kelam kabut, hahaha... Tapi I always make sure, before myLove balik, I dah siap mandi dan bersiap. Walaupun ala kadar simple jer, tapi at least tak sememeh laa kan? Begitu laa jugak hal nya dengan Rafiqh dan keadaan rumah. Sebelum myLove sampai, I akan pastikan Rafiqh dah mandi, pakai baju, sikat rambut, berbedak, pendek kata bagi comel laa ayah dia tengok, hehe... Rumah pun yang pada awalnya, dari pagi sampai petang macam tongkang pecah, macam kapal karam tu I akan kemas sepantas kilat. Huish, rumah I ni anak baru seorang tapi masyaAllah, habis dia buat kerja. I memang tak kemas sebab karang dia sepahkan balik, lantak laa berterabur pun. Dekat2 myLove nak balik, baru ler I bersilat dari satu ceruk ke satu ceruk yang lain... Konklusinya, I need to change! CHANGE! CHANGE! Kena bawa keluar balik segala-mala khazanah make up ku itu! Gambare...

4 nov 1998 - 24 okt 2009 Gopher was so dear to us. He was very affectionate but he was also autonomous. He could communicate well with us, the look in his eyes or a twitch of his ear was enough. Goph only obeyed us when it suited him. For us that was sometimes annoying, other times endearing or just funny. He was often telling us things like "stop bothering me, can't you see i'm eating goose poo / a paper napkin / a wasp-infested pear / other gross or dangerous stuff" and there was little we could do. The cutest thing (but naughty, naughty) was when he found out how to pick gooseberries from the bush. Very carefully, between his teeth. He always loved fruit and vegetables - among his favourite snacks were apple and cucumber peelings. He disliked his own bark because it was too loud, he used to shake his head after barking to get the ringing out of his ears. We tried giving him toys but he didn't care for them at all. He was equally hopeless at fetching - his opinion was that if we threw it away, why should he care? The only play he was interested in was the kind where you huff and puff at eachother and thump your forepaws on the rug, and it always ends in cuddling and bellyrubs. Gopher was very good at maths, because he could always calculate the center of the pack. If there were three of us at home, he would place us at the corners of an imaginary triangle, and lie down in the center of the triangle. And even if we were four or divided over several rooms, he could still choose the center, on a doorstep if necessary. Alternatively, he's sit at your leg and lean heavily against you for a while "please pet me", then get up and lean against the next person "now it's your turn to pet me", to continue this round and then find the center to go to sleep. I've had my rows with Gopher, mostly when he he stole something that needed salvaging - it became a fight for a higher place in the pack hierarchy. Those were sad things but to keep control over him we had to win those fights. But also he has warmed our hearts with unexpected moments of love, devotion and just being funny. Gopher was the most gorgeous beagle with a beautiful pattern and a handsome and intelligent face. He was slightly bigger than the average beagle and with a perfectly shaped head. He had those warm brown and eloquent eyes with far too much eyeliner. His colours, especially in his face, used to be darker than in this picture and his fur was always so soft. He let us touch him anywhere and overcame his fear when we had to do unpleasant things (such as administering medicine) because he trusted us. We will miss him dearly.