It’s funny how life can be anything and how one door can be a path to some amazing life but it can also be a path right off a cliff. My mother will be reading this but I’ll say it anyway. I asked to get the treadmill back from my sister’s and she had said “I won’t let you use the treadmill until you start eating more.” That angered me in a way I can’t even explain. It pushed me to want to hurt myself just to be like ‘suck it’. It’s funny because she doesn’t understand that I’m not that way anymore. She never knew then so how does she have the right to think she knows now? That’s just it. Small things like that can push you off the edge. The only thing I can say is it is way too easy to fall back into old patterns, habits, addictions and routines. It’s way too easy. And you see, the devil isn’t after the non Christians, our religion believes that he already has them. He’s fighting to get you. He will not stop. What you’re dealing with is hard enough on it’s own but there will be people that will make it harder, make it tempting, make it seem like it’s the best choice. Here’s something you need to remember in those moments, it’s like a song by rascal flats that says “and if one door opens to another door closed, I hope you keep walkin’ till you find the window” but here’s the deal, sometimes that window is on the eleventh floor. You can’t exactly just jump out without facing a whole bunch of danger. If the building was on fire you’d want to take the window because it’s the easiest way out, it looks like the safest but maybe the truth is that it’s not. It’s like the saying, “this is too good to be true”. Do you remember the book of Daniel? How in the beginning there’s the story of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego? Three young men who are thrown into a fiery furnace because they stood up for what they believe in. The guards looked in and saw four men when only three had been put inside. They were confused and amazed. The fourth, was an angel who protected the three men. They were not harmed at all. Instead of taking the easy way out and jumping out that supposed window they took the path of the door which lead through the fire. But they weren’t hurt. We look at the hard parts of life and get scared because they’re different, they’re unfamiliar, they’re hard. So we turn our back and walk down the perfectly made, straight path which ends up taking you off a cliff. You need to be careful and you need to be brave. Honestly, this doesn’t have to be related to your beliefs or your walk with God. It can be for anything. The easy way out is not always the best way out. Do you want to constantly live your life walking around with a parachute in case you have to jump out that window? And even if those small things lead you somewhere you don’t want to go, if you have faith and completely depend on God he will protect you. Just like Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego from the fire. It’s whether or not you believe he can. It’s whether or not you have the courage to do something unfamiliar and scary. It’s whether or not you chose to actually live or just breath to death. Sorry I haven’t been uploading. My computer was being fixed. You guys are the best.

So I feel like the only shoes I've been wearing lately have been my New Balances, because I've been working out alot. I joined a new gym, which stems from this fateful day a while, back when I caught a glimpse of what my gut looked like when I was sitting down. HOLY CRAP. Don't ever do that. Anyways, I'm not a big fan of shoes that tie. Probably because I can't tie for crap (see the double knots). My mom's a frickin' preschool teacher who has taught hundreds of kids to tie their shoes, and her own daughter seems to annually almost-severely injure herself because her loose laces are flappin' on the treadmill. However, I do love my Roos. They have the pockets to hold your money, just like they did when I was 7! Also, my dog had an episode of diarrhea once, and that left Roo took the brunt of it, and I couldn't deal with how gross it was, so I put the shoe out on the unheated back porch. For most of the winter. When spring rolled around, my boss took both shoes to her house, threw them in the washing machine, and look! Good as new! And that's suede, kids.