On Staurday Jim, Rob, Mike and Anne came over for tea. We ate drank and were very merry. We had steak guiness and cheese pie with roast veg, potatoes and peas followed by a bit too dark melting chocolate risotto. Oh and maybe a little cream. This is how we made it. It served 6 hungry people. Turn oven on to 190c (170c fan), 375f, gas 5 Butter a big pie dish, we used a 28cm x 20cm (11" x 8") deep pyrex jobbie. 4 Onions 3-5 Cloves of Garlic crushed 30g (1oz) Butter 4 Carrots peeled and chopped 3 Sticks of celery chopped 2 Big handfuls of chopped mushrooms 1kg of stewing steak chopped in to 2cm (inch) chunks Few sprigs of fresh rosemary chopped Salt and 1 tsp ground pepper 568ml (1 Pint) Guiness 3 heaped tablespons of flour 250g (9oz) of Strong cheese grated (we used Davistow Mature) 750g (26oz) of ready made puff pastry (We used one and a half blocks of the Jus-Roll stuff and it worked out nice but you could probably use less) 1 Egg beaten Fry the onions gently for 10 mins but don't colour them. Turn up the heat and add the garlic, butter, carrots, celery, mushrooms, and mix it up. Add the beef rosemary, pinch of salt and tsp of pepper, and fry for a few minutes and seal the beef. Pour in the Guiness and flour and stir it up. Add some water if needed so that the top is just covered. Put a lid on it and put it in the oven for 2-3 hours stiring a couple of times along the way, until the sauce has thickened up nicely. If necessary take it out and put it on the hob with the lid off to reduce. Now put in half the cheese and stir it up and leave off the heat whilst you prepare the pie dish. Roll out 2/3 of the pastry and line the dish leaving 2-3cm (1 inch) hanging over the edge. Put the stew in to the dish and scatter the rest of the cheese on top. Brush the edges with egg, roll out the remaining pastry for the lid and pop it on. Pinch the overhanging edges and roll them inwards. Now put some score marks across the top with a knife and decorate with left over bits of pastry if you like and then brush any naked bits with egg. We wrote PIE and put a picture of a bird on the game pie we did the other week :-). Finally bake it in the oven for 45 mins until it's nice and golden. Phew. Enjoy. Phil.

Ever notice how some fruits are seemingly taboo in pie? You can easily find apple, cherry, blueberry, peach, sometimes even pineapple or cranberry pie at your local store. But what about the other fruits? What about orange pie, or starfruit pie, or... GRAPE pie? Long had I dreamed of making one of these forbidden pies, but I lacked the knowledge until I discovered an ancient cookbook from the 1930s hidden in a cupboard under the stairs. There, among such abominations as "Crabmeat and Avocado Cocktail" and "Jellied Chicken", I found what I had sought for so long. The first attempt at a crust was a failure, a horrible blob that clung tenaciously to everything except itself. The second, using a different recipe, was also a failure. Maybe the old-timey definition of a "cup" or "tablespoon" was different from today's. Maybe the cookbook itself was exuding some sinister, crust-ruining force. Maybe I really suck at baking. In any case, I bought a premade crust and started anew, and this time nothing would stop me. So, behold, the product of a lost recipe, a pie so obscure, so taboo and arcane, that the last time somebody actually baked one, a wandering hobo stole it while it cooled on the windowsill. Born from the oven's glaring fire, dozens of the blackest grapes, and a whole hour's work, I give you: GRAPE PIE!