Suspended Animation Classic #11 First published on Sun. March 19, 1989 Mad Magazine #286 By Michael Vance It’s MAD and I’m not gonna take it anymore. Why? One reason is that the great debunker of merchandising is now merchandising itself. Is this – self-parody? Mad board and card games. Mad watches and skateboards. A Mad editor as a regular on television endorsing products. Either the world has gone insane or Mad Magazine has gone…bad. A second reason is that Mad has slipped into what it satirized best for over 30 years – senseless tradition. Alfred E. Neuman now winks at us instead of with us. Alfred has been the idiot savant of America since 1952, exposing the silliest aspects of our lives with his gap-toothed grin and sideways glance. He’s just one of the “usual gang of idiots” in Mad, an anthology of satire, parody and lampoon. They’ve influenced countless editorial cartoonists, rival publications, and outraged parents and rebellious teens. But, still better than the imitators, the great non-conformist has conformed…with itself. Sadly, the current issue doesn’t deviate from its own formula. Inside, you’ll find three television satires, “Thirtysuffering”, “The Moron Downer, Jr. Show”, and “21 Junk Heap”. Features are still separated with one or two page jokes, and “Spy VS Spy” and “The Lighter Side of…” still labor on the same tired treadmill of formula. Mad snickers, once again, at corporate sponsorship of rock concerts, rock music in advertising, and at their own readers with a senseless mess of puns on celebrity names. “Tom Cruise’s cruise on Brian Ferry's ferry”. Uh-huh. As always, the issue closes with Mad’s wink at Playboy magazine’s fold-out, the Mad Fold-In. Mad is beating itself to death with its own oft-imitated shticks. “When you have done something for so long as we have,” William Gaines, Mad publishers, said, “you tend to get formularized because that makes life simple.” And bland. And boring. Goodbye, old friend. Mad #286/$1.50/52 pages/various artists and writers/EC Publications/available on most newsstands/all ages.