May 18, 2007

Do you think I'm lovely? Am I captivating? Is there a possibility that one day I will be pursued? Am I worth fighting for and striving after?

May 16, 2007

Again, I ponder the value in including the year in these entries, but I've concluded that I am compelled to keep the year because if I left it off it would totally throw off the whole pattern, which would inevitably send my life into a tailspin of disorder...ahh, I'm a strange one!

Mom and Dad left for Vancouver just a few days ago and we had a great time on our trip together: we had just enough moments where we had to trouble shoot to make the trip interesting, but not so many as to get on each other's nerves. A really great time.

Currently, though, my heart is troubled as I haven't heard back from them in days, despite the bombardement of emails that have been sent to their inbox. A few days before we left we got news from my Grandma that my Grandpa was sent to the hospital because he's been having heart troubles. While this news was alarming, what is more alarming now is that there is no news. My heart is in a state of limbo as my mind runs through countless reasons for why I haven't heard any news from home (of course its all worse-case-scenarios that are running through my mind, not 'maybe my family won the 6-49 and are all caught up in deciding how to spend their new-found fortune').

This year God has been teaching me heaps and heaps about trusting Him and how that looks when it is worked out in life but that doesn't make this time any easier.

I'm hoping to hear from home soon, but if y'all could be keeping all of us in your prayers that would be awesome.

B

April 23, 2007

1:48 am Beijing time.

What in the world am I still doing up?!?!?!? Oh, that's right! After doing back to back weekends of youth camp I head off to chaperone our grade 6s on their field trip to Xi'an (think Terracotta Warriors) and I've go to unpack, wash, and repack my stuff for the trip. Additionally, my folks are coming in on Saturday (a day and a bit after I get back from Xi'an) so I needed to clean up my house before I left b/c I'm just not going to have time to clean up before they get here otherwise! Plus, I don't want to come home from my trip, needing a safe haven and finding instead, much more work to do. I think I get that from my mom:)

The camps were awesome, though and God really showed up and ministered to the couple hundred kids and staff who came to the two camps. On a personal note, I've been doing kids ministry for years, but I had never before "lead a kid to Christ," which, incedentally is a ridiculous statement, seeing how it is God who draws people unto Himself, and seeing as the heart work of anyone committing their life to God has begun long before we arrive on the scene. But I digress...so yesterday I got to pray with one of our youth to recieve Christ and become a Christian. It was really cool. At the same time, I was reminded that looks are decieving: I never would have guessed that the student wasn't a Christian b/c they come to youth group all of the time and they're involved in a small group on Sunday mornings, yet they hadn't actually decided which team they would be fightiing for when the battle lines are drawn (which is actually a pretty terrible analogy b/c its really long and because the student has always been engaged in spritual battle whether or not they were aware of it.

One of the coolest moments for me was watching how God supernaturally re-energized me for the last day of camp. I was barely functioning Saturday, but I woke up Sunday morning feeling as fresh as a daisy, ready to build into the kids and give it my all. It was such a blessing to see how God loves to meet all of needs!

Hey! Check it out! That's 2 blog enteries in a week! That's got to be some sort of record for me!

Love y'all! 

April 19, 2007

Recipe for earning chocolate layer-cake points:

take one piece of paper (napkin scrap, old fapiao, journal paper, A4 copier paper, deflated balloon) and write me a message. Be heartfelt, funny, encouraging, but most definitely positive.

Voila! You earn chocolate-layer cake points (which, incidentally, are a million times better than brownie points...)

And on another note, I finally got myself a Birthday present yesterday: an iPod. Now I am cool like all of those people on TV! (this is definitely your cue to laugh/giggle/nose snort/whatever). It's really pretty;)

April 3rd, 2007

Ahh, the hilarity of including the year again causes me to chuckle...but now I finish. Birthdays usually require a period of reflection, of inner soul-searching, of evaluating the path that we have walked in the past year and looking forward to the changes that the next year will bring. That would of course require quiet time (something I have very little of) and so I am left to reminisce (ok Luke, you tell me how to spell that correctly...) about the past year on my time between classes...and 7 days after the actual day.

Musings: GOD HAS BEEN SO INCREDIBLY FAITHFUL! When I look at where I was a year ago and where I'm at now (besides the obvious geographical change) I am astounded. In trusting God and His plans for me and following Him in that trust, even when it may not appear to be the most logical choice I have grown in my knowledge of Him as My Provider, My Protector, My Comforter, My Prince of Peace, My Defender, My Coach, My Teacher, and My God. I'd rather not get lost in all of the details, but the assurance that I have in knowing that I am following God's plan is indescribable, and so humbling to think that God would choose to use me to do His work; that there is something valuable in me that He needs and that others need too.

Sidenote: Thanks to all of you who sent me lovely cards, etc. for my Birthday. In case you didn't know, one of my strongest love languages is WRITTEN WORDS. Not text-messaged, or even e-mailed so much, but written down on a piece of paper, the corner of a napkin, the back of a reciept (or fapiao). The letters of encouragement and support that have crossed the ocean to reach me have meant so much and I cherish them all. (If at this point you are wondering how to send me mail, click on the IAB link on the left and go to the "contact us" page.) I cannot whine too much, but I will confess that I was a little disappointed this year. I recieved many cards from home and from my students (who went over the top and threw a surprise birthday party for me) but only 2 or 3 from my good friends here. I tried not to wallow in self-pity and God was faithful to remind me that my friends do care for me, they just don't realize how important it is that they write it down;) I struggle with how to remedy this for next year: I cannot go around telling people to write me cards/notes, but at the same time it is something that I crave. Hmmm....perhaps this is something that I should blog about/pray about...

On a much more exciting note, my parents will be joining me here in Beijing in 24 days! Yea! We plan on doing a Yangzte River Cruise and then checking out the Terracotta Warriors in Xi'an.

Please also be in prayer for the 2 Youth Camps that will be running this month as we are expecting to have a whole lot of unchurched kids at this camp.

March 25, 2007 

SPRING HAS COME! Friday I wore my parka/sleeping bag all around town, but yesterday, oh yesterday, I wore a light sweater and my Birks (how I love my Birks). It was warmer outside than inside! Spring doesn't creep up on you like it does back home. No. There is a dramatic change in the weather, and I'm so glad b/c they turned off the heating in my building about a week ago so I was getting pretty cold:) 

To celebrate, a group of us went out to a park yesterday afternoon to play football. The funny thing is that you're not actually allowed to play on the grass in the parks in China (so the park guards informed us) so we found a paved promenadey area and played catch there. We had an awesome time, but the coolest part for me was playing with a throng of Chinese kids who were at the park with their families. We played catch with them (although the football was really hard for them to catch: what a strange shape) and chased them around and had a great time! 

Bizarely, Dan managed to injure himself while we were playing with the kids, but managed to "hop along" and play through the pain. Afterwards we went out bowling (10 pin) and we realized that Dan had really hurt himself quite badly (see photos below). We think he's broken his toe, but there's nothing he can do for it anyways, so he'll just have to hobble around unitl it heals.

Besides Dan's poor toe, I had an awesome time bowling. One, because I really like bowling, but more interestingly, because I trounced the boys the first two games. The funny bit is that I know I'm ok at 5 pin bowling but I've never done well at 10 pin, so I really thought that I was going to do terribly in the games. OH OH OH! That was not the case. The last game, however, came down to me and Jay and we're both just a little competitive (polite cough) and so we had a battle to the end. Even though I had won the previous 2 games, I was nervous going into our final match and in the end, neither of our competitve natures were satisfied with our tie!

I'm trying to look fiercely competitve: what do you think?

On a funnier note, last weekend we were all going out to eat after church when we spotted the funniest Chinese emergency fire station: it was a whole buch of fire supplies just sitting on the sidewalk with axes and picks and the rest. So bizare!

Codi is calling for help while Daniel prepares to weild his axe: you can also see the long pick just under the roof and the shovel by Dan's right elbow. Likely, the red boxes contain some fireihose. The sign on the lower box says "Fire Alarm" but we're not really sure what that would mean. Perhaps it houses a small gong?

March 7, 2007

So who was that psycho that wrote on here yesterday? Whoever she is, I hope she's gone! Frightening!

So yes, today I am doing better. I think more sleep and a good old-fashioned dose of reality has definitely helped in changing my perspective on my situation. I wrote some encouragement notes to a few of my friends yesterday letting them know how important they are to me and somehow that made me feel much better and much more connected. First, I think that helped to physical record that I have sincere relationships with people in my world. Second, I think that we all become much more aware of the love that is in our lives when we are giving our own love away. Third, as a wise friend of mine once quoted, "the glory of God is man fully alive." When we are living out the life of love that God has called us to we will feel alive in a way that is impossible by any other means. 

Thanks to all of you who are continually praying for me and keeping me up on all that's happening at home. I love you all very much,

Becky 

March 6, 2007

Hmm...so about my plan to update my page once a week...

Not too much to report at this time. We've just had Chinese New Year (which was pretty spectacular) and Ashley has gone home after her 2 week visit with me. This Sunday will be my first time playing with the worship band at church so I'm a little nervous and excited about that.

Thoughts for today:

How is it that I can be living in one of the biggest cities in the world, in the most populous country in the world, and still feel so alone? I work with people all day long who I talk with and kids that I laugh with. I am a youth leader and I'm in a small group with the church. Still, I feel alone. Partially, I blame these websites that show you what all of your friends are up to and all of the fun times that they're having because if you're not doing what they're doing then you feel left out. Partially I blame myself for allowing myself to feel left out and excluded. I am sure that part of this, too, is due to Ashley's leaving as I went from spending 24-7 with someone and now I'm back to being a Lone Ranger (but not Walker, Texas Ranger...)

I also wonder if I am too guarded. Do I intentionally keep people out of my life emotionally so that I don't get too attached? Is my personality too powerful? Are people afraid to be real with me and so friendships always stay on the surface level? There are friends of mine who seem to have deep relationships with many many people, and I am  jealous of their ability to have people trust them so completely and so readily.

Perhaps the problem is that I am not spending enough time intentionally building relationships. I feel like I'm always busy doing something, but yet I actually accomplish very little. Boy, that's depressing.

This morning was particularly low: I walked down the hall at school and realized that if it wasn't for my job, I could very easily disappear from the face of the earth and it would be a few days before anyone really noticed. Ugh! What a dismal thought.

I don't really know what to do. I do want to be a part of a great community with honest communication but I feel like there is some secret password, a special hand gesture, or an inside joke that I am unaware of that would let me into the circle of trust.

January 15, 2007 

Well hello my dear friends and family! It has been a very long time since I have been able to update my page, but special thanks to the faithful few of you who have checked this page regularly despite its stagnant state.

So Christina and I have arrived safely back in Beijing and are one week into our second semester of school here. Cambodia was such a beautiful place and we had lots of fun sightseeing there as well as in Thailand. The best part of the trip was how completely refreshed I felt coming out of it and back in the crazy life of work and commitments. The weather was so beautiful it was really hard to get back on the plane to Beijing: to trade our tank tops for thermal down-filled jackets!

Things here are going well for me. I have a few new students in my classes and so I am hoping that they will all transition nicely into their new school and that their peers will reach out to them and really draw them in to the IAB family. Some new things are starting for me this year: I'm auditioning to be in the worship team here at the church (I'm a little nervous b/c I've never had to audition before, but I know that it will be a good growing experience!). Also, we're trying to start up a worship band with the kids from school so it will be interesting to see how all of that comes together. 

My headmaster, Tim, has asked us to let him our plans for next year, whether we plan on continuing on next year or returning home. I'm pretty sure I'll be coming home next year, but if you could please pray for me as I seek God's confirmation and also as I apply to school districts and master's programs back in Vancouver.

There's not too much else terribly exciting that is happening in my life right now, but you can check out the photos section of my page to see some of the sights from my trip!

I love and miss you all very much,

Becky