October 22 2011 Bryan told me to take a photo of my room because it's the only thing that really has meaning to me in my life right now. I love my room, I've been decorating these walls for almost 2 years now, and every photo, every quote, every saying, vinyl record, dream catcher, everything means something to me which is why it is on display in my room. I wake up and look at this stuff every morning. I face these things when I pray to my higher power every morning and every night. Pretty much everybody knows now that I'm in rehab and am not allowed to leave my house other than going to rehab, an AA meeting or if it's somewhere with my mom or something. My life is very lonely right now, but I'm doing this for me. I'm sobering up and doing what it takes to gain the skills I need to not drink whenever I feel sad or lonely or angry. I have been sober for 40 days as of today and I am damn proud of myself. I know I'm only 17 but alcohol dependency can happen to anyone at any age. I know I can turn my life around and beat this and not let that damn bottle of Captain Morgan or Bacardi 151 rule my thoughts anymore. All in all, the basis of this picture is this is what keeps me sane, the photos of my friends who I miss dearly from Downey and the friends I have that are supportive of my sobriety here in Huntington, the photos of Annie Leibovitz--my idol, my inspiration, the photos of different outfits, models and styles that inspire me to dress the way I do, the Toms sign to remind me to be thankful for what I have and the quotes on my mirror to keep me going each day. "One day at a time. Have hope in your soul, have faith in yourself, have an open mind, have love in your heart, have goals for your future. Do this for you because you are the only person who can change you. You are the only person who can help you. Namaste" (and the symbol for Om is above namaste)

Wow... is this a teenagers room or what? This was my room in Washington State, where I only lived for a year, but obviously spent some time decorating. You can see my diet and exercise charts all over, along with the motivation phrase "I can!" Even at 14 and 120 pounds, I was already contemplating dieting. Yikes.