I feel like I’m under a huge amount of pressure right now. I have an exam in my Psych class tomorrow and well I’m no good at those. What really irks me is that I go to every class, listen to everything my professor says, and I take every note, yet people who don’t will probably do better than me because I can’t take in the information for the life of me. No matter how long I study. You'd think it would be easy when I have probably half of the illnesses named in our class...go figure. I feel so overwhelmed with everything at college right now. I have a lot of reading to catch up to in photo history and I still have hardly started on my research. I don’t think I’m going to do good in this class either. Tomorrow I have to convert a bunch of images for my photo class. Basically, I only have confidence that I’m going to make it through two classes and I don’t have room for error in my two-year plan (including summers). I just really don’t feel like being under constant pressure. I really don’t understand how people with huge social lives do it. I know that I am over anxious and blow things out of proportion when it comes to worrying, but honestly I really feel a lot of doubt right now. This makes it sound like I give up too easily and can’t take a challenge, but I really just want to give up or just take my photo classes and just not mess with electives…but then I wouldn’t get a degree and apparently you have to have at least a “bachelors degree” in “anything” to get anywhere. =/ I have this thing… like for almost half of my life there are times when my hands and feet just feel really weird and I get very restless and it’s hard for me to stay still. Nobody has ever really figured it out, or they just think I am crazy and don’t try to figure it out. It’s been bugging me lately though because it happens more frequently throughout the day lately. It affects my studying and a lot of things. Like right now my hands feel so weird it’s hard for me to type this. It very well could just be that I’ve been overly medicated for half of my life (I still am). Anyway, I want my fellow Flickrites opinions on this…am I digging my own grave with my Flickr? It’s just…it’s completely public and I know my family worries about it. Like, would people not want to be my friend because some of my art is depressing? I don’t know. I don’t think my photos would be as good if there wasn’t any emotion. I mean, I’m already trying not to write as much in my descriptions because of who can see them…even though I’m writing a lot right now. Obviously, as a whole I’m not a morbid person. Thoughts? my internet at my shitty apartment is barely working either I'm sorry that I'm being negative /rant Strobist: Vivitar 285hv with snoot

My dad came to America from Mexico when he was 13 in search of the American dream. My mother comes from a long line of hard-working, blue-collar European immigrants who also came to America in search of a better life. It was through the hard work and sacrifices of both of my parents (and their parents, and so on) that I was able to attend excellent private schools my entire life. I graduated from a top University with a Bachelor's Degree in Film and no debt. Staring down the barrel of my seemingly silly diploma, I feel like I have no reason to complain. But facing the distinct possibility that I may never build upon the dreams and aspirations of my parents and pass them onto children of my own scares me to my core. I cannot even fathom the difficulties in raising a child in our current world. Everyone around me who has a family struggles to stretch what little income they have and often fails to cover the bare minimum. So I'm waiting...but for how long? I have never wanted an ostentatious life. I just want to be happy. I want my life to have a purpose, and I want to contribute the world in a meaningful way. I am overqualified and underworked. I've undoubtedly benefitted from my parent's generosity, but also have been working and paying income taxes and social security since the age of 10. I look good on paper. I'm a great interview. I think outside the box, but I understand why the box is there in the first place (even if I don't agree with it). I'm an artist with an entrepreneurial spirit. I could be doing so much more, if I was only given the chance. As a multi-cultural, college-educated, world-traveled female, I occupy a liminal space that could be of great benefit to our nation as it sags under the weight of inflexibility and dread. Allow me to help build the future while trying to honor the past. You should be so lucky to have someone like me! So, take the long view, 1%. Be what you think you deserve. Evolve. Share. Earn the business of us in the 99%, because we've given you just about everything. Now it's time to give back. Occupy Wall Street. Occupy LA. Occupy THE WORLD!!