Be prepared for a rant. a long, boring, I-just-need-to-rant-my-face-off rant. Feel free to read. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I am fucking sick and tired of people making decisions for me. I'm also sick of people saying "Your too young, or too old for {insert thing here}" Like seriously. What would you like me to do. I read this thing on facebook a while ago, and honestly, I laughed at it. I was like "Psh, that's not true" and then rolled my eyes and kept scrolling down my newsfeed. But now that I think back to it, it's SO true. "According to parents, we're too young for love, too old for "fun," too mature to play dumb, and too immature for "grown up" conversations. No wonder teens are so rebellious; there's nothing else to do." And it's true. OK, I disagree on one point, I'm in grade 10, I'm not gonna "look for love" like seriously. But the rest is SO true. Whenever I wanna go do something fun, my parents roll their eyes at me, and say "really stef. really" and I nod my head, and walk away. I also apparently have no clue what im doing half the time, but when they want me to, all of a sudden I have every clue in the world what I'm doing, so all of a sudden im grown up. and then they go and treat me like im fucking 5 years old again, so I go back to acting like one. I mean hey, whatever your going to treat me as, I'm going to be. So today, I was supposed to show the pony I part-board off-property, my first show. And everything was perfect, it was cheap, I was going the day before for show prep, and it was going to be awesome. And then I asked my parents, and what did they say? NO. Don't tell me "Well show's are expensive, blahblahblah." It was $35, and I pay $80 a month for my partboard. I used to pay $160. So I constantly asked them why, why I had to miss something so important to me. And then they told me. They were taking me to a university show to find out information about the university I want to go to, stuff I ALREADY KNOW AND TAKE A COURSE ON AT SCHOOL. THAT'S WHAT WAS SO FUCKING IMPORTANT THAT I HAD TO MISS SOMETHING THAT WAS IMPORTANT TO ME FOR. But I'm used to it. It's ALWAYS. I repeat ALWAYS my parents priority over mine. I'm in grade fucking 10, I don't need to be inquiring about university already, I'M ONLY 14. I HAVEN'T EVEN HIT 15 YET. Even the people at the show looked at me and said to my parents "Isn't she a little young to be here already..." And so, I rebelled. This morning, I woke up at 8:22AM. I went back to sleep, angry that my friend was already where I should have been, at the barn. I woke up again around 10:15. and I ran downstairs to my computer (in the basement). 15 minutes later, my mom called me up for breakfast. I refused. I would not eat. That meant getting ready to go, and I didn't want to do that. So I didn't eat breakfast. Then my mom forced me up to my room to get changed. I crawled into my bed, and stared out the window. Then my dad came and yelled at me, so I gave in and got changed. I wasn't happy, and it wasn't something I wanted to go to and get all dressed up for, so I wore sweatpants and a t-shirt. I didn't care if I looked like a slob, nobody knew me there, and I certainly didn't care what people thought of me. So eventually the time came when I had to leave. I grabbed my Harry potter book, and slammed the door on my way out, I was angry, and frustrated, and I had nothing to vent out on. On the way to the thing I sat there, read my book and mumbled about how I should be at the show, not in the car. At one point my dad turned around and said "stop being such a bitchy kid, your acting like a g**damn idiot". And that's when I broke down. I started crying. I yelled at him, and I told him "I don't appreciate you calling me that" and he responded with "I don't care". My mum was in the front seat, simply listening. I tried to be mature about it, he was the one being an immature idiotic kid, but I couldn't help myself. I wanted to open the car door and just walk out, I wasn't far from home. But I didn't I sat in that car and read my book, with tears in my eyes. It will be a long time before he is forgiven for that. I'm like a puppy from a rescue, shy; scared, and afraid. It takes a very long time to build my trust, and only seconds to shatter it. My guard is always up. I break easily. I'm not something to be played with. I also hate it when people make decisions which include me, without me. And then they say "whatever calm down, it doesn't really matter that much". Well I don't care about how little or big the decision is, it DOES matter. I HATE it when people make decisions for me, and I would NEVER do that to someone else, because i can't stand it. It drives me insane. Up the wall. Frustrated. Rant Over. If you actually read all that...please go eat all the virtual cookies I can give you. But I'm not expecting any of you too; I rant

This letter is for all of my friends and family who saw my name in the paper Sunday, for my neighbors who witnessed me being handcuffed and taken to jail and booked, for the deputy who questioned me at great length about the kiln on the back seat of my car and didn't I need some sort of license or permit to own it and how long have I had it and where did I get it, for the nice woman who obviously had a little meth with her breakfast and bounced off the walls and talked non-stop during our shared ride downtown and told me all about what to expect since she has been to our county jail so many times, for my kids who got to bail their mom out of jail and will remind me of it forever, and most of all, for the nice staff of my county jail who DID believe that I had done nothing wrong and made the entire experience as pleasant as possible, not locking me up with some scary people I saw in there, bringing me something to eat, taking my blood sugar, chatting with me about jewelry and photography, letting me make phone calls, and making sure that I didn't have a chance to have a breakdown and hide in the corner and cry, getting me out of there as soon as possible, and making me feel as ok as possible during the whole nightmare........ It's nice to see that the records department is "sorry for my inconvenience." They also got the info wrong in the letter. It wasn't a duplicated failure to show. It was a duplicated ticket in the system, creating a failure to show. But if this makes it go away, I won't argue that point. For those who haven't heard the story, I walked out of the house without my purse accidentally and got stopped in a license check a mile from my house. They ran my license number and informed me that my license was suspended. I knew there was no reason for it to be, but I was handcuffed and taken to jail. What a way to spend your Saturday! I'm actually glad that I didn't have it on me. I would hate to find out my license was mistakenly suspended if I had a wreck or something. That could be really messy and harder to straighten out with the insurance company and additional charges.