Day 94/365 This was actually a message sent to me by a friend earlier this week. And in addition to the fact that it just flat out made me grin from ear to ear, it gave me a moment of pause because my very first reaction was, "Yes, I am!" Which is a far cry from how I would have reacted 3 months ago. I am strong, I am incredible, and I am, in at least some sense... everything. And once I was done being excited that my own sense of self-worth has grown so far, I wondered what exactly had spurred her to send me such a random outpouring of love. It took me a little bit to work out what spawned the message, outside of just her having a big heart, which she does, but I finally figured it out. i post this project in several locations on the web, one of them being tumblr. If you're not familiar with it, it's essentially a sharing/blogging site that seems (in my experience) to be at least primarily populated by the youth of the world... young women (and men) who seem to range in age from 14 to 20 or so. One of the hazards of being active in a community like that is that you come across a lot of sadness, a lot of despair-- and yes, a lot of young people (and not so young) are gripped by the belief that suicide is the only answer to their depression, that suicide is the only way out of their fear and pain and anxiety. This last week alone, I saw several posts being re-published by friends of young people who were at the very edge of suicide. One of them really spoke to me, close to the heart. And although I usually stop at a silent prayer for the young person in question, to this particular post, I responded-- sending a message to the young woman in question, and in turn, posting my letter in my own blog. There have been times in my life when I thought suicide was the answer. Times when I've been at the edge of that particular abyss and have been, by the grace of God, saved. Most notably, almost 11 years ago, when a dorm-mate walked into my locked dorm room and stopped me from taking a handful of pills that were laid out and ready on my desk. If you are a close friend, or family member... the letter I wrote to this young woman may be hard to read. But I think it's important to post it here as well. Please know that it's been many years since I've felt the way I felt that day... and suicide is not something I would ever consider the "answer" to hardship. Although I was once there, I am not now, nor will I ever be again. Because I am stronger, happier, and safer than I have ever been in my life. And I know that I will never be in that space again. That being said... what follows is the message that (i think) spawned the message of tonight's photo: -------------------------------- -- -- -- -- -- ------------------------------------ If you are in the grips of depression, if you are on the edge of suicide and thinking things will never get better, that no one understands what it is to stare at that end-space that no one else seems to see… I DO. I do because I was there. I have been there. And I have come back. And even though I never believed it when anyone told me I could… I did. Because my life is worth more than the pills I would have once used to take it. I don’t know you, and you don’t know me. But I know where you are. I have been where you are. I have stared at a small pile of pills, white with red letters, against a fake wood background, next to a keyboard, and a computer, and a mouse and a notebook, and a cup of water. I’ve watched them swim in a haze of tears that never quite fall. I’ve felt them in my hand, played them through my fingers. I’ve watched and waited for the “courage” to pick them up, to put them to my lips. And as the moment came, my “locked” dorm room door sprang open to reveal a friend, arrived just in time to stop me. And 10 years later, I am so glad to have been interrupted by a dorm-mate, to have been stopped, to have been helped. Because 10 years later, my life is nowhere near where it was in that moment. That moment where it seemed like the end was all that was left. I want to walk in your door. I want to drop them down the sink, the drown them there with that glass of water. I want to take your hand so it is full of love and support and healing… instead of pills. I want to sit with you until those tears that won’t quite fall— do. There is so much more than this moment and those pills. There is so much more than an ending. And I know it doesn’t feel like it now. It took years for me to forgive her for interrupting me. But I thank her now daily in my prayers… thank the universe for the yielding door that I swear to this day that I locked behind me. My life is not perfect, nor will yours be dear girl. But it is worth more than a pile of pills and cup of water. I promise you. I swear to you. I know, because once upon a time, I didn’t think mine was either. Please don’t. -

Is There Anything Obama Can’t Screw Up? By: Craig Chamberlain For a man who was the “chosen one” the one who would heal the planet, make the oceans recede, and basically bring us to a glorious utopia that beforehand we could only have fantasized about, the reality of his time in office has left a bad taste in most peoples mouths. After just one year in office it’s fairly safe to conclude that there are only two possibilities about President Obama. Either he’s incompetent, or he is a pathological liar deliberately pursuing an agenda with the intention of wrecking this country. Everything this man touches turns to lead. I don’t know what the opposite of the Midas touch is, but, if there is a name for it, he has it. In one sense President Obama truly did something that was astonishing and miraculous, he took the already toxic culture of American politics and made it even more partisan and poisonous. When the facts are considered the only conclusion that one can reach is that he did this on purpose. He didn’t have to pursue health care, in fact, a half competent politician would have avoided it at all costs and done something with wide popular support, like focus on the economy and trying to lower unemployment. Instead he passed a bill that nationalizes 1/6 of the economy, and he passed it against the will of the American people and without a single vote from the GOP. This is the first time in American history that a bill of such magnitude was passed on a straight party line vote. But the President did it because he wanted to. He wanted to pick this fight not because the bill is good political sense, in fact it’s political suicide for much of the Democratic party, but because he’s interested in the fundamental change of the United States,(he said it himself when he was running for office) than he is in politics, or fixing the problems that face this country. All of his rhetoric about uniting the country was proven to be empty words when he pursued the most partisan, and most radical, agenda in Presidential history. President Obama promised the least corrupt administration in American history. Instead we have an administration that is on pace to outdo the Nixon and Clinton White House’s for corruption. We were told that there would be no lobbyists in this White House, instead, by the latest count, there are 50 lobbyists working in the administration. You would think that with the health care deal that has pushed the country to the edge of fiscal disaster, and open violence, he would back off massive legislation that is unpopular with the American people and can only be passed with special, corrupt,deals for members of Congress. That would be the wise course, but remember, this is a man who has said that he would rather be a one term President who got his agenda through than a two term President who had to compromise or back off. More than anything that should show that he is not a politician, but a revolutionary. He’s more concerned with social reconstruction, the redistribution of wealth, the expanse of federal power, and the weakening of constitutional liberties than he is about any election. That’s why it’s full steam ahead. Now that he’s won his battle for health care it’s on to other things. Next on the revolutionary agenda, is cap and trade, immigration reform, and probably, at some point, a new push for gun control. None of these is popular with the American people, none of these address the economic problems that the country faces. But it does extend the control of the state, and if there is one thing that President Obama and his fellow leftists are interested in it’s telling people how to live their lives. President Obama took over a bad economy, and actually made it worse. Despite what some say I think this was done deliberately. The worse the economy gets the more dependent people are on state assistance. The more people who are unemployed will be needing unemployment money. The more who are dependent on the state will continually vote to protect the system that gives them money. The economy is terrible, and President Obama wants to make it worse. Cap and Trade, which is basically the nationalization of the energy industry, would drive the price of energy skyward in a fashion that has never been seen before. Forget the gas lines of the early seventies, this country could count itself luck if that was the worst that happened. Millions of jobs would be lost, the increase in energy prices will trigger massive inflation, and more and more people will find themselves forced to go to the government for help. Immigration reform is another disaster waiting to happen, just ask President Bush. Rewarding illegal’s only encourages more illegal’s. More Americans will find themselves out of work if we end up passing an amnesty. Big business likes illegal immigrants because they can be hired for a lot less. Contrary to the popular propaganda of the day, these aren’t jobs “Americans won’t do.” Instead they a