Three Rules for Talking
1. USE SHORTER SENTENCES. 2. SHOW, DON'T TELL. 3. ASK FEWER QUESTIONS
IMAGINE THAT YOU FIND YOURSELF IN A FOREIGN COUNTRY WITH NO TRANSLATOR: If you are suddenly listening to a foreign language and cannot understand, what could the speakers do to help you survive and start to learn the language?
1. They could use shorter sentences.
2. They could show you what they mean and not just tell you.
3. They could ask fewer questions-instead giving you a way to show them what you need or want.
"I WILL SHOW YOU. JUST WATCH. " This is the scripted phrase to use often because it calms and assists children through confusing language moments.
VIDEO DEMONSTRATION OF USING FEWER WORDS
The target words are Yes and No. The child will play the game by answering the questions, Here? This game can be played using more or different language-one should intentionally create the language aspect of the game based upon the child's language ability. Generally, for children who struggle learning language, people speak in sentences that are too long and too complex and too abstract.
YOU CAN COMMUNICATE THE SAME IDEA WITH FEWER WORDS. It takes practice. Below are a few sentences for you to practice on.
1) "I am trying to read a book here, in case you had not noticed, so would you please can I just have some peace and quiet around here!" Click here to see some shorter ways to say this:
1) "Shhh. Be quiet. Mommy is reading."
2) "Remember what we did at grandma's house? We are going to try that again because that was so much fun. Let's march like a band!" Click here to see some shorter ways to say this:
2) "March, March, March" (while you demonstrate marching) "Time to march, march, march!"
3) "Anna, honey, I have too much in my hands so could you do mommy a favor and bring that pile of clean clothes upstairs?" Click here to see some shorter ways to say this:
3) "Anna (placing a pile of socks in her arms), help Mommy, come upstairs (lead the way)."
NOTE: THERE IS NO ONE WAY TO SIMPLIFY YOUR SENTENCES AND DEMONSTRATE. With young children who are not yet verbal, use very few words and lots of demonstrations. With older children where you can use full sentences , still demonstrate what you mean if you see any resistance or confusion.
SHOWING YOUR CHILD HOW TO USE LANGUAGE
Children often become mute when asked a question that is too challenging. "What did we do yesterday?" a parent might ask while visiting with grandma. And the child says nothing. This is not just true for children with ASD but for all children. What can you do instead if you want to draw your child into conversations about interesting things they did or saw.
Your cell phone with a camera allows you to show your child how to use language. Take pictures of the places you go and the cool things your child enjoyed seeing. Then, looking together at the picture, talk about what they saw.
Example: "Grandma, here are pictures from our walk? We saw a long, long train pass by on Nicollet Island. That was really cool. I don't know why trains are so cool."
Show the picture and then wait a bit before moving to another picture in case your child wants to add some recollections of their own.
Note: The little boy here said "Trains are cool because of the parts."
HOW TO ASK FEWER QUESTIONS. Questions are often used when you don't need to ask a question. For children who cannot easily answer questions, it is kind to ask questions only when you need information from the child or when you can give the child an easy way of answering your question.
1) Don't ask a question when you are actually trying to teach new vocabulary. Example: "What color is this?" If the child does not yet know color words, then teach color words, don't test if they know color words until you have taught the words. If you are going to test their knowledge, let the child know that is what you are doing. Say, "Let's see how many color words you know!"
2) In daily life conversations, only ask questions if you don't know the answer and the child does. Real questions. You don't need to be testing the child's vocabulary knowledge all the time.
Don't say: What color is this? ( while holding up a shirt). Note: you already know the color so this is a test.
Do say: "What color do you want to wear? " (while holding up a blue and a red shirt). This is a real question because you don't know what color your child will want. Note: you can say "You want the red shirt." if your child grabs the red shirt because this is a way of teaching the color word.