If Your Child is Sad...

or is mad, sad or scared--this is something to talk about.  Jason likes trucks! Jason is happy!  This is what you can say when Jason runs to pick up his truck when he gets home.  Jason is mad, Daddy.  Don't take truck!  You can say this for Jason because he does not have the words to say this yet.  If you are talking to daddy for Jason, look at Daddy but stand close to Jason.  But if Daddy has to take Jason's truck and put Jason in the bath, then Daddy can say Jason is sad.  Daddy said Bye Bye truck.  Time for bath.

It is tempting to say things like You will be fine when your child skins his knee and cries but instead say Owie!  Knee is hurt!  You want to reassure your child or encourage him or her to cope with the situation but the words that are most likely to be understood and appreciated by your child are the words he or she would say, if he or she could.  It is actually easier for a child to recover from sadness and pain, worry and fear, and even over-the-top excitement if the child can express those feelings in words.  Before your child has words, you can often express those feelings for him or her.  Be sure to use the intonation that your child would use if he or she could express feelings in words.  Sound mad or happy or sad as you say these things.

Here is a game that you may want to do with your child as soon as he or she can be coaxed into watching you draw.  This game will help your child understand the words we use for emotions:

YouTube Video

Other Feeling Words to Use in Life and in Games

It is often hard for parents or others to figure out good first words to teach children who have autism.  I have had a lot of luck over the years teaching words that have some emotional value.  If a child is trying to pick up something and it is hard, this is a little frustrating so complaining is natural.  If that child manages to pick this heavy thing up anyway, gloating is natural.  If nothing else, it is a surprise how it feels when you pick something heavy up.  In any event, this word is a good one:
Heavy! 
Stuck! 
Uh Oh! 
Yikes! 
Hot!  Cold! 
Wet! 
Sticky! 
Mmmmm!  Yummy! 
Ooooo Yuck! 
Soft! 
Bumpy!