1. I was born nearly 8 weeks premature. To paraphrase my favorite author, Dorothy Parker, "That was the last time I was early to anything." It's true, I am chronically late, and I attribute it to the fact that for every minute I was born early, I'm making up for it. But it's really because I am totally lame and probably have weird time/space continuum issues or a mental illness, which sounds more medical than being just flaky. I was also on 4 pounds at birth, and I have more than made up for that, too. Like by A LOT. 2. I am a total packrat and have too much STUFF. But every time I get rid of something, I find myself looking for it and then cursing myself for getting rid of it. I have a hard time throwing stuff away, because I become sentimentally attached. But I like being a packrat and keeping stuff -- I love my stuff. No one likes helping me move my stuff, though. Including me. 3. I had six wisdom teeth. I still have them, but just not in my mouth. (See? I have a hard time throwing stuff away.) 4. I worry incessantly. Now that the economy is so bad, I wonder what the hell I was worried about before, because things felt like a cakewalk then compared to now. But I've had worry lines in my forehead since 4th grade, which is why I've always had bangs. I have severe cowlicks -- two in front, and one in back. Which don't work so hot with the aforementioned bangs. I worry about that, too. 5. If I could have anything in the world, I would want magical powers like Samantha Stevens. I hate housework so if I could just twinkle my nose and abracadabra it's all done, my life would be fabulous. 6. I'm afraid that I am very shallow and immature. I was looking at a book catalog this morning, and there were all these books about history and current events, and like, totally smart and deep stuff? And the book that appealed to me most was a book about some girl going to college and losing her virginity or something. And then I read a celebrity blog and put on Cherry Jolly Rancher flavored Lip Smacker. I wonder what happened to me that my emotional and mental growth simply stunted at the age of 16. (And at 16, all I wanted to be was an adult. Go figure.) 7. I got the Beatles' autographs for Christmas from my sister. When she was little, the Beatles were in San Francisco for a concert around her birthday, and they were staying at the Fairmont Hotel. My dad was at a meeting at the Fairmont and knew the manager, and somehow he finagled getting their autographs for her (they brought up a card from the gift shop on a silver platter to their hotel room, complete with little fake Beatles on it) and brought them home, where she was having a Beatles themed birthday party. "I ran into some friends who wanted to give this to you," he said. She opened the card and screamed. The card was framed and hung in my room when I was growing up, but she took them back and I always joked with her to leave them for me in her will. But she gave them to me this Christmas, and I cried. I don't care how much they're worth; they're family history and therefore priceless. (Except I would TOTALLY go on Antiques Roadshow with them.) 8. I have a bachelor's degree in English and an MFA in creative writing, but I wouldn't know a dangling participle if it hit me in the face. My grammar is terrible, and my typing is even worse. But I am signing up for a grammar and copy editing class to remedy this, though I'm pretty much stuck with being a bad typist forever. 9. Despite my terrible grammar and lack of typing skills, I have written a novel. I did it during NaNoWriMo when I was unemployed a few years ago. It's a Young Adult Novel. It has a beginning, middle and end and chapters and everything. It's still on a zip disk and I'm too scared to submit it anywhere -- I took it to a workshop once, full of hope and sincerity. The first chapter was brutally massacred to the point where after I left that group of people, I sat in my car and sobbed for an hour before I could go home. It scares me to even think about looking at it or sending it anywhere, and makes me feel defeated and I can't shake it. So even though I have an MFA in CREATIVE WRITING, I still don't feel that I will ever be a writer. (And clearly I have a little, um, self esteem/ fear of failure or success issue going here. Sigh.) 10. I am a Universal Life Church minister. Thanks to a click of a mouse, I can marry my friends, and have performed six wedding, and I am happy to announce all the couples are still together (and legitimately married). I need to send away for my special parking placard. I am also available to do exorcisms. 11. I knew JT Leroy was a fraud before most people did. Just ask my friend Leslie, because I told her that ALL THE TIME. (Sorry, Leslie.) 12. I love my boyfriend, friends and family more than anything in the world. And Norman the cat, even though I didn't think I could love him after losing my sweet kitty BeBe in June. 13. I don't drink coffee

Born in Israel under the name Chaim Witz, Gene Simmons relocated to Brooklyn at the age of 9 with his mother, a Hungarian immigrant and the only member of her family to survive the Holocaust. Once in the States his name was changed to the more American-sounding Gene Klein, and he struggled to advance his understanding of English through watching television and reading comics. During his school years, he developed an interest in horror and science fiction, for a while even publishing his own comics fanzine; but the Beatles phenomenon inspired a stronger urge to become a musician, and in 1967 he secured a second hand guitar from his mother to realize his ambitions. Participation in a series of different bands followed, amongst which were The Missing Links and The Long Island Sounds. After high school Simmons enrolled in college and began working towards a degree in education, performing at night as a member of Bullfrog Bheer and later in the folk duo Coffee. A period was spent as a teacher in Spanish Harlem and then as a personal assistant for the editor of Vogue, but by this time he had met Paul Stanley and, after a series of unsuccessful attempts, the two founded Kiss in 1973. It was at this point that he adopted the name Gene Simmons. Kiss landed a contract with the fledgling Casablanca label that same year and released their self-titled debut in 1974. Two more albums quickly followed, each receiving an increasingly favorable response. A rigorous touring schedule gradually established a nation-wide following, and by the release of the live set Alive! at the end of 1975 Kiss had become one of the biggest acts in the country. Simmons' band persona (and the band's presentation in general) was a clear continuation of his interest in horror and comic books: nicknamed "the demon", he took the stage clad in stylized armor and spiked platform boots, with his face elaborately painted in white and black. Bursts of flame and generous amounts of fake blood regularly featured in his performance. In addition to his duties with Kiss, Simmons began to branch out into other aspects of the entertainment business in the late 70s and early 80s. He attempted unsuccessfully to promote an early incarnation of the band Van Halen, and later established his own short-lived label, $immons Records. Ventures into management (for singer and former girlfriend Liza Minnelli) and producing (for Wendy O. Williams) were also undertaken. Inevitably, an effort was made to establish himself as an actor; the made-for-TV band movie Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park (1978) effectively opened the door to this new field, and roles for both feature films (Runaway, 1984; Never Too Young To Die, 1986) and television (Miami Vice) occasionally surfaced over the following decade. With regular changes to the drummer and lead guitarist positions, Kiss remained active for most of the 80s and 90s, armed with a simple formula to restore attention to themselves whenever public attention began to drift: when their first decline took place in the early 80s they made a publicity stunt out of removing their make-up, resulting in a boost of sales for the album Lick it Up (1983). When another slump arrived in the mid-90s, they made a publicity stunt out of putting their make-up back on, resulting in another boost for the album and accompanying tour Psycho Circus (1998). A long 'farewell' tour was initiated in 2000, but it remains to be seen whether the band will actually put their cash cow out to pasture for good. Simmons kept himself very busy outside of Kiss in the 00s: launching the magazine Tongue, publishing his autobiography, creating the Dragonfly clothing line, and re-establishing his record label.