Sometimes I feel like I am just walking around in a daze... the past three years have flown by and I can barely remember them... Time stopped the day my dad has his stroke... I used to talk big about how I was so independent and had survived so many difficult times... but losing my dad was like nothing I had ever imagined... No long illness to help me cope wiht the pain... No drunk drivers to blame... Just a freak stroke that unexpectedly killed my daddy before his 58th birthday... and it's taken me three years to actually find the strength to admit that in print... I've been doing a lot of thinking lately and realized that it's time for me to snap out of the daze and get back to living my life... How can you expect to really live when you're walking around numb? I know that I will never stop missing my dad and that the hurt isn't going to lessen anytime soon... but I also know that it is time for me to stop punishing myself for living... Three years is long enough - I need to find me again... To all my friends that have put up with my reclusive, anti-social behavior over the past few years (which I know, I know...), thank you for continuing to care... Someday I'm going to learn that I don't have to run away when I'm hurting... Please don't lose faith in me yet... I love you guys!!