December 31, 2010 Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man. ~Benjamin Franklin December 29. 2010 I went to Ikea this afternoon to return a light fixture. The return desk representative was gracious about allowing me to return it but she asked a lot of embarrassing questions because it looked like it had been installed and then taken down - which it kinda sorta had been. Michael had hung it but did not connect the wiring. I felt sort of guilty returning it but rest assured I bought some more stuff to appease my guilt! I can't wait to wash my my new duvet cover and put it on my bed. :)  December 27, 2010 Baby, it's cold outside! (the photo is of Sean & Rose and was taken at Lillie Park on Christmas day)  December 25, 2010 Wake up, it's Christmas! Sweetbread french toast, gifts, cold walk at Lillie Park, and sharing a a fab dinner prepared by Michael with family and friends. December 24, 2010 Twas the night before Christmas... And of all the nights throughout the year that come and gently leave, None hold the dream of magic like the evening, Christmas Eve. [Trans-Siberian Orchestra] Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night! December 22, 2010 Sean and Rose arrive tomorrow afternoon. I anticipate Joe arriving sometime on the 24th. I've tried to keep things very simple this year and only bought one gift per Dove man so I hope they aren't disappointed. I am taking tomorrow off as a vacation day and do not return to work until the beginning of the new year, which is a benefit of working for an organization that has university connections. Tomorrow morning I plan to do some much needed grocery shopping and have some housework I need to tackle before company arrives. December 18, 2010 All I ask is for a chance to prove that money can't buy happiness. December 16, 2010 The furnace guy came back yesterday to finish our furnace installation. I can see why the old furnace lasted so long - it was just this simple but inefficient piece of equipment with very few parts to break down. The new furnace has far more components. There is a pump and a drain line to the utility sink to pump water out. There are PC pipes leading to outside to bring in fresh air and take out exhaust. There is a humidifier... Whew! It makes me nervous that there are so many more parts that could have problems. December 13, 2010 Ugh! My car doors were frozen shut this morning and of course the ice scraper was in the car. I ended up using my charge card to chip the ice off the door to pry it open. Despite having on gloves, by the time I chipped all the ice off the windows my hands were so cold they hurt. Current temperature is 11 degrees, windchill -3 degrees. Welcome to winter! December 10, 2010 The furnace guys showed up on Wednesday morning and left at 10:10pm after running into problems (not sure what) but they did make the new furnace functional until they are able to come back and finish the installation next week on Wednesday. So another long cold day is in my future. I am starting to feel a bit of pressure to get some Christmas shopping done. We are only two weeks out! I am primarily focused on Michael, Sean, Celina and Rose. I made small and as it turned out inexpensive gifts for April, Butch & Joe, which I hope they like. I have a few ideas for Michael as a result of going shopping with him last weekend but am clueless on Sean. And I like this quote which I stole from despair.com - If you keep asking others to give you the benefit of the doubt, they'll eventually start to doubt your benefit.  December 7, 2010 A date which will live in infamy - December 7, 1941, Pearl Harbor The image is of the USS Arizona December 6, 2010 I was at Best Buy yesterday with Michael trying out the Kindles & Nooks and trying to get some Christmas ideas. On the way out we ran into Margo, one of Bern's old girlfriends. We chatted for a few moments - she remarried recently so in addition to her 15 year old daughter she has 3-4 stepchildren as well - all teenagers! Michael and I also went to REI and then headed downtown for an early dinner at the Red Hawk. While we were looking for parking I had a nice chat with Kathy about e-book readers and "other stuff." And I must add that the Long Island at Red Hawk really packed a punch! December 4, 2010 The new furnace is scheduled to be installed on Wednesday. I am taking the day off to "babysit" the installers. I am guessing it is going to be pretty cold in the house so I am not sure what I will do all day while they are here. I am sure I will come up with something. :-D Michael has been sick all week so I spent part of today washing all the linens. He must be feeling better because he seems to have had a burst of energy and is sorting through stuff in the basement. I have been trying to assemble my stuff to sort in my corner of the basement and plan to tackle it this winter sometime. I also want to set up a work area with the paper cutter, scissors, tape, glue, and other supplies to make working on projects simpler. Always so much to do... December 1, 2010 It's snowing. What an appropriate way to welcome December! Although this means I have to track down the scraper with the brush. I have done absolutely no Christmas shopping. Every year I remind myself to keep it simple. And every year I wish my two man boys would be more specific about what they'd like, tell me early (like now), and try to keep prices within a reasonable range. I have surprised myself and am actually leaning toward a Kindle or Nook for myself. The Color Nook seems pretty cool but I am not sure color is needed. I have still not made arrangements for a new furnace - I have been waiting for a second estimate to arrive. It has been ten days so I am getting a bit antsy and the fact that it has taken them this long to send an estimate makes me worry that their service could be slow as well. And lastly, while cleaning out email I ran across a note I had sent Kathy on August 2 regarding birthday plans in Saugatuck that read "I am wavering a bit on trying to find a house on Lake Michigan and inviting people on my birthday weekend. Seems like I might just be setting myself up for a lot of frustration dealing with family politics. The last thing I want to do on my birthday is deal with everyone else's needs." Given what happened, I should have listened to myself. Sigh.... November 24, 2010 What a night! I had a creepy dream last night that involved rats crawling on me and nipping my skin. I actually gasped and woke up. The dream started out pretty benignly so I am not sure how it evolved to include rodents. I looked online to see what dreaming about rats means and found multiple interpretations. One site said "A rat, or rats, in your dream points up the fact that someone is very jealous of you and/or your accomplishments and will work against you in any way possible, it is a dream of warning to be on the alert for enemy attack, (the backbiting kind)." Another site said "To see a rat in your dream, signifies feelings of doubts, greed, guilt, unworthiness and envy. You are keeping something to yourself that is eating you up inside. Or you have done something that you are not proud of. The dream may also be a pun on someone who is a rat. Are you feeling betrayed?" Yikes - neither interpretation bodes well. Sweet dreams are made of this Who am I to disagree? I travel the world And the seven seas Everybody's looking for something. Some of them want to use you Some of them want to get used by you Some of them want to abuse you Some of them want to be abused. November 18, 2010 I met with a financial planner at Merrill Lynch last night to talk about possibly beginning to take distributions on an IRA annuity (the remnants of the 401k I had at Michigan National) in hopes of increasing our cash flow and building up some savings. It seems like a viable option as I look at the inevitable purchase of a new furnace and making other needed repairs to the house. Of course, the fellow I was talking to seemed to think it was a horrible idea. What if you live another 35 years? And it's certainly not a money maker for him if I annuitize - and he, by the way, looked like he was in his 20's. I want to make a fiscally sound decision but don't know how much trust to put in this guy (or any stranger for that matter). What to do, what to do.... November 16, 2010 I am at home waiting for the furnace guy to show up to do a maintenance check. It is now 8:20am - the appointment is for "sometime between 8-9 am" so I am guessing (hoping) that means "sometime between 8-10am." The kitchen upgrade is coming along. We bought new cabinet handles on Sunday and they look pretty nice. We unfortunately have a lot of damaged wood on the drawers and lower cabinets thanks to Willie and Dexter who used them as scratching posts. Mike ended up painting the damaged drawers black instead of trying to refinish them. Paint apparently covers a lot of imperfections! The furnace guy showed up at 8:50am and had this to say about our 1960's furnace that is apparently "built like a tank" - "I am not going to condemn it but you should install a couple of carbon monoxide detectors." Mmm, not very reassuring. It sounds like we may be in the market for a new furnace. November 9, 2010 It feels good to be home again after a week working in Atlanta. In my absence, Michael was busy making some much needed improvements to the kitchen. What I have seen so far looks nice. I am just trying to stay out of his way. I picked up some of those paint color cards from Ace and Lowes in hopes I can decide on colors for the master bedroom and Sean's old room. I just heard from Sean and it sounds like he is planning to head this way for Thanksgiving. Yeah!  Gopher: If I was you, I'd think about skedaddlin' out of here. Winnie the Pooh: Why? Gopher: Because it's "Winds-day." Winnie the Pooh: Happy "Winds-day", Piglet. Piglet: [being blown away] Well... it isn't... very happy... f-for me. Winnie the Pooh: Where are you going, Piglet? Piglet: That's what I'm asking myself, where? W-Whoops! P-P-P-Pooh! Winnie the Pooh: And what do you think you will answer yourself?  Work has been really hectic. Internet2's Fall Member starts on Oct 31. I leave for Atlanta on the 29th. This will be my first time at a Member Meeting as part of the registration team. I am actually looking forward to doing something new at these meetings although I do understand the hours are really long. I walk in the Making Strides for Breast Cancer walk on Saturday and want to thank y'all for your generous donations! I'll bring my camera. October 10, 2010 Today is 10-10-10. What a beautiful weekend! Warm weather, sunny skies and time spent with Michael. We spent the day doing yard work yesterday. And we lounged in the sun today with the thought this could very well be the last warm weekend day of the year. All you need is love and sunshine... October 6, 2010 Jeremy was released from the hospital today which I am hoping is good news. I've been a bit out of the loop so I don't know what the prognosis is but I am guessing he still has a long road ahead of him. October 5, 2010 My new event planning job is going well so far and I am really enjoying the change. I am still tying up a few loose ends with R&D but I see the end in sight. And I am feeling better. Life is good! September 29, 2010 Despite hacking away all day, apparently if you do not have a fever, you can still get a flu shot. I did however reschedule the dentist appointment I had tomorrow morning. If I am still coughing tomorrow, I may stay home but I took a Mucinex DM and it seems to be suppressing the cough. Being sick sucks! September 28, 2010 I picked up a cold (or something) on Sunday and am home today with a box of Kleenex, Halls and Advil. I am hoping staying home from work will help me get better quicker but I have also heard you just have to let these things run their course. I am wondering if this means no flu shot tomorrow? September 22, 2010 Sadly a brother I love and care deeply about is using FaceBook to publicly lambast me. I am not sure what the intended outcome is or even why I am a target of his anger. If the intention is to hurt me then "mission accomplished" but there are more direct ways to communicate and resolve issues. I am not angry with him but I must admit the ongoing assaults have taken their toll. September 8, 2010 I spent the day at St Mary's Hospital. Jeremy has a brain tumor and was supposed to have surgery this afternoon. In anticipation that the surgery may be lengthy, it has been delayed till tomorrow morning so that the team working on him will be fresh. I am not a praying person but my heart goes out to Jeremy, Jerry, Marilyn and Jeremy's siblings at this very difficult time. I am hoping we will all be able to give a big collective sigh of relief tomorrow... September 2, 2010 Happy 82nd Birthday wishes to Dad! (not that he ever looks here) No finalization yet but I may have a new job as an event planner soon at Internet2. It will be an interesting change for me. And some words of encouragement that being 60 doesn't mean you are to old to try something new. The old saying "you can't teach an old dog new tricks" simply isn't true. August 31, 2010 Thirteen months later and I still occasionally find myself tearing up over Dexter. That last image of his trusting eyes continues to haunt me. I am not sure I will ever forgive myself. The pain is a sober reminder that right or wrong, we have to live with the decisions we make. I want to live my life so my nights are not full of regrets. D.H. Lawrence August 27, 2010 I am trying to schedule a meeting at work that involves participants in both Europe (plus six hours) and the West Coast (minus three hours). I see some major issues with this attempt at scheduling if restricted to an 8am-5pm work day. No calls before or after 11 am ET. August 26, 2010 I am at work and it is quiet this morning at my end of the building. Seems to be a good week to take time off as many staff members have been working non-stop this summer to meet grant deadlines. Plans for a trip to Saugatuck on my birthday weekend are finally coming together. I just mailed a check to Michigan Vacation.org for a two day rental on a house in Douglas and I am now trying to decide how much I want to open this up to my family at large. (Realizing also that they may have no interest at all!) August 20, 2010 I am glad it is Friday. Crunch time at work as we tried to get several grants out. I rode my bike to the boathouse after work today to find Michael in a panic after losing a rower on a long run. Fortunately, he was able to find him so all ended well. I am sure the drinks we had at Casey's before returning home helped. Not so sure about the onion rings. August 18, 2010 Argh... I could use a nap. Some animal was rustling in the bushes at about 3 am this morning and managed to get on the roof. All I could hear was it tromping around above my head. I tried to scare it away by shining a flashlight through the bedroom window, disturbing Michael more than the critter in the process. August 16, 2010 You know that you are at a boring meeting when the thing that captures your interest the most is the hairy arms of the person sitting across from you.  August 2, 2010 Finally, I am back on Michigan time and life is pretty  This photo was taken in my herb garden - I thought the vine on the iris leaf was kind of interesting. July 29, 2010 "I'm so tired, I haven't slept a wink. I'm so tired, my mind is on the blink." Back to the reality of getting up for work, housework, etc. I haven't had a good nights sleep since returning from Hawaii and am just dragging through the day. Initially the sleeplessness was related to adjusting back to the Eastern time zone (six hour difference). Now I think it's just worrying about work and other life issues. But waking up from bad dreams every hour or so is starting to wear me down. Oh well - this too will pass. July 24, 2010 Saw this on Twitter : "Attention all passengers, we are now boarding @thankyou's mom. 6:35 PM Jul 22nd via TweetDeck." Uh??? Not sure if I should be flattered or insulted. July 17, 2010 I have been posting daily to FaceBook (user name is Sugar Dove) and thought it was time to post something here as well. Michael finally relaxed and seems to be enjoying himself. He's still avoiding family but between surfing and beach time there have been few complaints. I have never been more relaxed on a vacation. I declared on day one that I would not be cooking and other than boiling eggs for egg salad have stuck to that goal. Most days we have gone to the beach. Michael surfs while I veg out reading, taking pictures, and people watching. I am definitely on island time. It's back to reality in a few days.    Michael has been somewhat pensive and out of sorts since we arrived. He doesn't want to see his relatives and being at the Kawaikui house just seems to make him edgy and tense. It is making me second guess my decision to come here. I mistakenly thought that with no one here he might be able to relax and enjoy himself. But so far he hasn't let go at all. I do understand though where his tension is coming from... sigh... Life is so complicated.  July 1, 2010 The good old days! Burgerland is one place that I wish had lasted forever. Only three more days... June 29, 2010 We are in count down mode. Our flight to Hawaii leaves on Sunday - as in five days from now. I haven't packed anything yet but I have started organizing clothes, camera and phone accessories (like rechargers), etc. I've paid bills that are coming up, stopped the paper and made arrangements with the neighbor and John (aka Butch) to check on the house, mow the lawn and water stuff if needed. Fortunately (and this still makes me a little sad) there is not a cat to worry about. I was looking for an appropriate vacation quote and saw this one: No vacation goes unpunished. ~Karl Hakkarainen Isn't that the truth!  June 21, 2010 We have grass! We actually have a nice looking lawn this year that feels soft and plush when you walk on it in your bare feet. So when that Back to Nature guy said "you might try watering your grass" after I complained about how awful it looked and I just rolled my eyes, God responded and sent us rain. :-D  We are looking forward to our upcoming vacation in Hawaii. I especially look forward to the beach and visiting all our old haunts. If only Burgerland still existed. <sigh> But at least the mac salad at Zippys is ono. John and April are celebrating their 23rd anniversary this weekend. They have kindly invited Michael and I to join them and Celina for dinner at the Quarter Bistro Saturday night. Yum... It sounds like life is pretty good... June 9, 2010 I think the rain has finally stopped. Our neighbor claims Mallet's Creek, which runs behind our house, nearly overflowed its banks Sunday morning after a big storm overnight. My guess is the storm drains couldn't handle the volume of water. It does make me realize how easily we could get flooded. And yes, we did have puddles in our basement. :-( May 31, 2010 I had a relatively good three days off. We didn't go anywhere - no big barbecues, bike rides, etc. I stayed home and worked on the yard - making a huge dent in getting my flower beds in order. My big trip out was to Lowes with Butch and Michael to buy mulch. (Mulching is a next weekend project.) It is pouring rain right now and it's really cooled everything off. Back to work tomorrow! May 25, 2010 Time is flying. Memorial Day is coming up (yay a three day weekend). I hope to get some more gardening done as there are all kinds of unintentional plants (aka weeds) growing in my flower beds that are choking out the intentional plants. My biggest problem is I have developed a justifiable (I think) fear of doing something to my neck which digging, etc tends to exacerbate. I spent some time in the garden this past Sunday and my neck was pretty stiff and sore Sunday night. But then I asked myself would it have hurt anyway? What a dilemma! May 19, 2010 Saw this on one of Sean's friend's twitter page (while stalking Sean aka andthankyou): "2.25 pages inked, panel redrawn from Answer, and also serviced @andthankyou's mom. Productive day!" What??? May 17, 2010 I went to the Scholastic State Championships on Saturday and am happy to report Huron did really well. The rowers came home with 2 gold and 4 silver medals. Overall a great day. Kudos to my favorite coach! April 30, 2010 Some Friday afternoon SNIPPETS...
April 23, 2010 I find it oddly comforting to see how the family gathers in hospital waiting rooms when Mom (or Dad) is hospitalized. April 6, 2010 Some often used family quotes: "This just isn't working for me." (Adopted from a co-worker) "I'll give you something to cry about." (A Dad line just before he smacked you) "I don't care what you do as long as you don't hurt anyone." (A Mom line when you asked if you could do something) "If can, can - if no can, no can." (Michael's old Chinese proverb stolen from a T-shirt in Hawaii) 'Whatever" (What I used to say when I couldn't think up a good answer) "Maybe" (What I used to say to Sean when I was stalling for time on a request) 'Do whatever you think is right." (What I used to say to Sean to make him feel guilty) Mmm... this seemed much more interesting when I was thinking about it at 5 am this morning! March 31, 2010 I am not exactly sure how to use the word "angst" in a sentence but I am certain that I am feeling "angst." I am in such turmoil about many, many things. Sometimes I wish I could just blow caution to the wind and just do and say what I want without being worried about the consequences. But I do worry about hurting other people or squandering away my life's savings and/or future or losing my job or destroying my marriage or ... I am sorry for being so cryptic but ironically I worry about the consequences of revealing the kinds of things I am talking about. I just have this nagging feeling that I am not really living my life. I am walking on egg shells and trying not to rock the boat. And it just isn't working for me. Now is the winter of our discontent Made glorious summer by this son of York; And all the clouds that low'r'd upon our house In the deep bosom of the ocean buried. (Richard III - William Shakespeare) March 24, 2010 I heard the words "Fire and Ice" on the news, looked up and saw some pretty dramatic volcano footage that instantly reminded me of Bern. There has been big eruption going on at Katia in Iceland this past week. For story and images: http://www.cbsnews.com/2300-202_162-10002875-2.html?tag=page I am still waiting for warmer weather here but at least it has been spring like. I've been able to get out and walk with just a jacket or sweatshirt. Certainly not sandal weather yet! March 15, 2010 I am finally feeling like my old self again. Cough is nearly gone and I feel energized. All I need now is warmer sunny weather! March 11, 2010 I am practicing the fine art of procrastination at work this morning. I have a task that has become political and I have somehow gotten caught in the middle. It regards the issue of the privacy of notes I took at a meeting that I have not released yet. It's become one of those "much ado about nothing" situations. It will be interesting to see how this pans out. March 10, 2010 Just got a long overdue haircut and I am loving it.  I'd like to think this was a simpler time in my life but the reality is I am sure Michael and I were both caught up in that whirlwind of work, balancing finances, and all the other pressures parents go through. At the same time though having Sean in our lives was a source of great joy and wonderment. We got brief sweet glimpses of the world through the eyes of our son. Sean is an adult now with his own unique perspective on family, his life and the world at large. I enjoy his wit and cynicism and occasionally he allows me a glimpse of the world through his now older eyes. He is still a source of wonderment and joy. As Michael ages, he has become softer in his approach to many things in his life but is still the edgy guy I married. I continue to be in awe of his talent in so many areas - art, music, sports. And his cynical view of the world and inappropriate sense of humor (which seems to run in the family) are a constant source of amusement. Love you guys!  February 24, 2010 Remember Burgerland? February 23, 2010 Another 8 inches of snow. Winter marches on with no regard for my impatience for a glorious sunny 70 degrees plus day. Yes, despite dimpled thighs and that feeling I could be mistaken for a Ruben's model, I want shorts and tank top weather.  February 18, 2010 I found some old photos of Bremerhaven on-line. We used to live in an apartment building that looked like the one in this photo. This would have been in the late fifties, early sixties. Our apartment was on the first floor in an end unit. There were four bedrooms - back then I am guessing larger families were more of a norm. February, 17, 2010 It may be that I'm just tired and worn out from not feeling well or sleeping well (this is week three) but I find myself withdrawing into a dark place. I feel really isolated and lonely - like I could really use a hug. (or maybe just a good night's sleep...) February 15, 2010 A Happy Belated Valentine's Day wish... February 12, 2010 A very special Happy Birthday wish to the old river man (not to be confused with old man river). You are very dear to me. February 10, 2010 I am beginning to feel like a human biology lab. Who knows what foul things are multiplying in me. I have been sick since January 31. Whatever I had developed into bronchitis and the coughing just goes on, and on, and on... The only plus to being sick is that Michael shoveled all the snow (8 inches) that fell overnight! Although I must admit I secretly enjoy shoveling. February 3, 2010 I have mixed feelings about the upcoming release of the movie Shutter Island. I read Shutter Island (by Dennis Lehane) a few years ago and it is one of the best books I have ever read. I don't want the movie to somehow ruin the images and the feelings the book evoked in me. I think this excerpt from the book touches on what I am trying to say. And Teddy had leaned into the cab and spoken to her in whispers and what they talked about, even now, he couldn't bear to recount even to himself. Because it was pure. It was the purest he'd ever felt. He'd stood on the sidewalk as the cab pulled away, and the memory of her face just an inch from his--through the cab window, on the dance floor--nearly short-circuited his brain, almost drove her name and number right out of there. He thought: so this is what it feels like to love. No logic to it--he barely knew her. But there it was just the same. He'd just met the woman he'd known, somehow since before he was born. The measure of every dream he'd never dared indulge. February 2, 2010 Happy Groundhog Day! But I didn't need Punxsutawney Phil to tell me there will be six more weeks of winter.  This weekend seemed like a good time to reminisce. I found several photos of one of Bern's art shows (in the '80s), which I sent to him. I also found old photos of Michael in his art days at Michigan State, which I am trying to decide what to do with. And I ran across this old photo of Sean and I that Bern took on a visit to North Carolina. I don't remember much about that trip except the glorious feel of that sunny day, the smell of pines and digging my feet in the sandy soil. It was a stressful time in my life (juggling work, childcare, and other issues) but I think I was happy that day. January 22, 2010 Thought I should provide a quick update. I must admit I was surprised it had been three weeks since I last posted anything. It's that darn FaceBook! What a diversion... Butch, April, Michael and I went to the Detroit Auto Show last week. I really enjoyed looking at all the cars, people, etc. We also tried a restaurant in Mexitown for lunch - a first for me. I'd like to go back when it's warmer and check out the shops and other restaurants. I started a yoga class (at work) with the thought I could use more flexibility and strength but more importantly learn to relax a little. So far I really kind of suck at it but plan to stick with it. It has actually turned out to be kind of fun. January 1, 2010 Hau'oli Makahiki Hou! Happy New Year! The western Christmas and New Year fell during this same time of the year that the Hawaiians traditionally honored the earth for giving them plenty to eat. This period of resting and feasting was called Makahiki (mah-kah-HEE- kee). It lasted for 4 months, and no wars or conflicts were allowed during this time. Because makahiki also means "year", the Hawaiian phrase for "Happy New Year" became "Hau'oli (happy) Makahiki (year) Hou (new)"(how-OH-lee mah-kah-hee-kee ho). I especially like the part about no wars or conflicts. Here's to hopes for a more peaceful 2010. |
