AGE: 21

HEIGHT: 6' 2"

WEIGHT: 14st

POSITION:  Doggy or 69, but occasionally beef it up in the boiler room

RUGBY IDOL: Jason Hughes - I love my Dad

 

FAVOURITE BAND: Elastic (2nd person to try that joke, and it's even less funny now)

PRE GAME ROUTINE: Strenuous masturbation and the eating of several Mars Bars

STRANGEST PLACE YOU'VE WOKEN UP: A public telephone box in Lochaber. Or alternatively Wendy Gorrie's bed - yikes, that was scary.

DESCRIBE YOURSELF IN 3 WORDS: Muscular,masculine and menacing

CELEBRITY DOUBLE: Danny Grewcock, or others may suggest Scott Murray or Martin Fowler

BEST PIECE OF ADVICE:  Don't be a fool, always wrap your tool.