When I got to AA, love reminded me of scenes in movies in which lovers ran toward each other in a meadow and joyously melted into each other's arms. I had never felt that way about anyone and felt that love must be a strong emotion I had missed out on. I gradually came to see that love is more of an attitude than an emotion, one in which I simply wish others well, wanting what is best for them, even if it might not be what they would wish for themselves. I often think of a mother who phoned me, as I happened to be the only one who could take the call, when I worked for a rehab in my professional phase. Her addict daughter had come home as the prodigal, written some bad checks, and then run off again to live with her addict boyfriend on the other side of Australia after her parents paid them off to get her out of trouble. She wanted to know what to do, and I didn't have a clue, but it was pretty clear that covering the rubber checks eliminated the one thing that could have forced the daughter to face her problem. Refusing to would have been more of an act of love. I have sometimes said in meetings that we don't have to like everyone but we should love everyone. I thought that was pretty inane, but it makes sense to me now. There are people in the fellowship who I wouldn't care to spend much time with, but there is nobody I would want to go out and drink. |