I used to find it quite strange when I heard someone say they were glad they were alcoholic. Alcoholism is a mental illness and I have never heard someone say they were glad they were paranoid, schizo or bi-polar. But now I would agree. Because I am alcholic I have found God, this fellowship giving me friends all over the world and a program for living that eventually brought me a life of gratitude and contentment, although it was more than a bit longer in coming than I might have expected when I got here. If there was a cure for alcoholism, I don't think I would want it as I find dealing with what remains of this disease rather amusing and something that keeps life interesting. As a guy here sometimes says, "If you can learn to laugh at yourself, you have a lifetime of entertainment." I believe we can find more happiness in life than the vast majority of people who don't know what is wrong with them much less have a program for living with it. But they are the way they are and don't need to do much to stay that way. If I don't keep working to maintain my sanity and sobriety, I am likely to lose both eventually. I would slowly move toward again seeing the world I live in as something I need to escape from and be likely to return to my old way of trying to do that. In a book I read last week called Spin the Bottle, the author said that his problem with alcohol was that he couldn't live with it and couldn't live without it. If I don't maintain my ability to live without it, I might find sobriety so intolerable that I might have another go at trying to live with it. |