I have been sober for a long time, still have expectations and feel that this is not really a problem. When I decide to do something, it is usually with the feeling that it seems to be the right thing to do, something I will be unlikely to regret. But part of this is the feeling that it is most likely to work out in a certain way and unlikely to work out in other ways that seem less desirable. It is true that things seldom work out quite the way I thought they probably would, and I accept whatever happens and get on with life. I realise that what seems like a bad outcome often doesn't seem that way with a bit of hindsight. Decisions that seemed like bad ones at the time may have put me in what seemed like a bad situation at the time, but from there I have usually gotten to somewhere I couldn't have gotten to if I hadn't made what seemed like a mistake at the time. When I look back at my life, I can see that most things eventually worked out for the best and have few regrets. The problem seems to me more with my perception of reality than having expectations. As someone said, it isn't shit that happens, it is life. It only smells if my attitudes are negative, unrealistic or otherwise unhealthy. I need to realise that things can never be expected to work out quite the way I expect them to and that isn't a problem. If I keep doing the next right thing, things will work out as they should, if not the way I might think the will or should. |