When I got to AA, it was for a drinking problem, and I couldn't see how that could be a disease until I heard someone at a meeting point out that the word is dis-ease, lack of ease. Uneasy would fit pretty well with our common discription of "restless, irritable and discontent," feelings I struggled with all my life, before, during and after my drinking days. Alcohol's main attraction was taking away that uneasy feeling, putting me at ease with myself, others and the world. Eventually it no longer did that very well and became a problem in itself, enough of a problem to get me to AA. But stopping drinking took away the one thing I'd found that put me at ease. I had to find a way to get that without the aid of alcohol,and that is something I find I still have do certain things to maintain, including getting to meetings, face to face and online, pray, work the steps, maintain my relationship with God, keep my attitudes in line and try to follow my conscience through each day. I find that I feel at ease almost all the time now, but know that I can't take that for granted and must maintain it to stop the rest of the world from appearing to turn nasty again. I was recently thinking that mostpeople would find it pretty strange to be asked how they maintain their sanity, but for me it is something I have to keep doing. |