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A couple years ago, I was reading a Sidney Sheldon novel called The Naked Face in which a fictional psychiatrist said that sanity is the ability to adjust to reality. That was a Zen moment when it it m that this was a lot of what our Steps, Traditions, slogans and Serenity Prayer were about. Until I got to AA, my life was about trying to escape from what I thought reality was. I recall hearing someone say that reality was a nice place to visit but they wouldn't want to live there, and wondering why anyone would even want to visit. I can now see that what I thought of as reality was only real in that it was where my efforts at self-distruction put me. Other than that, it was created my pessimism, negativity and warped perceptions. I had always been looking at the world through fecal tinted glasses and finding it sadly wanting. The world has seemed to get much better in my 35 years in sobriety, as well as the other people in it. I can now deal with whatever comes along without reacting or overeacting in ways that get me in trouble or wear on my nerves. I have found that it is life, not shit, that happens, and it only seems like the latter if my attitudes are out of whack. I no longer see reality as something to run away with, just something that calls for a few adjustments from time to time, and I rather enjoy making them now. The rest of the world will never adjust to my preferences and convenience, but I can go along with it and enjoy the ride. |