Find yourself some paper and a pen. Writing down what is going on in your life and in your head can be very helpful in identifying the reality of your situation. 1. Situation Write down what happened, where you were, who were you with. (example: Boss became angry with me at work) 2. Thoughts Write down what you are thinking about your current situation. Identify and underline the thought that is most distressful, or holds the most emotion for you. This is called a 'HOT' thought. (example: I'm useless. Everybody hates me) 3. Feelings Identify and write down how you are feeling. Are you angry? Do you feel guilty, depressed or confused? (example: I feel sad and scared) 4. What did you do (examples: Went to Ladies and cried. Bought a packet of biscuits and ate the lot) 5. Evidence FOR the your HOT thought Write down all the evidence you can think of to support this distressing thought. This part of the process can feel horrible, but do not skip it as this is important to do. (example: Boss didn't get angry with anyone else) 6. Evidence AGAINST the HOT thought Think about, identify and write down all the evidence against your distressing thought. (example: Some of my colleagues thought my boss was wrong to be cross with me) 7. More realistic thought Based on this evidence, think about, identify and write down a more realistic thought. Sometimes reality checking takes a little practice, but this process offers you a chance to notice any black and white/distorted thinking you may be involved in, and gives you an opportunity to make some changes. (example: A lot of people value me. Just because someone becomes angry does not mean they hate me) 8. How I feel new (example: Much calmer. More confident) 9. How I might behave now (example: I will go and talk to my boss so I can understand what is needed from me) |